Just a Little Crush(72)

“Can we talk inside? Noah isn’t home.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” I stared at the ground, trying to figure out how one week ago I’d been willing to give my virginity to this guy and now I wouldn’t even talk privately with him. My heart hurt and I hated the way things had turned out.

“Please.”

I glanced up and he reached to tuck my hair behind my ear but froze. His hand dropped quickly. “I’m sorry,” he muttered.

“Let’s go inside.”

Once in his suite, he sank onto the couch. I sat in a chair across from him.

“So what do you want to tell me?” I asked.

“I knew you were on the website but I didn’t put you there.”

I inhaled a shaky breath. “So—so that makes this all okay? You used me, Ryder.”

“No, I didn’t. Nothing I did with you was for the stupid competition. But I knew. I knew if people saw me with you they’d assume it was. Why do you think I kept telling you not to get involved with me? I told you I hurt people. Fuck.” He leaned his head back and covered his eyes. “I never wanted to hurt you. I tried not to.”

“Who put me on the site, then?”

“Noah.”

“Un-fucking-believable.” I shook my head. “So was this a little competition between you two?”

“In his mind? Yes. In mine, absolutely not. You’re not a game to me. You have to believe that. He and I fought about it all the time. You saw it for yourself. The day I brought you here, that’s what it was about. The restaurant. Shit, even the night I found you outside together. Why do you think I always kept you away from him? I was protecting you from him…and from me. I tried. I really did.”

“What was going on in the restaurant that day when Paige was with you?”

“The waiter had access to the website and recognized you. Until that day, I hadn’t realized Noah put you on the site. When he saw that I liked you, he did it to piss me off. I tried to stay away from you after that. I figured if he thought I wasn’t interested, he’d lose interest too, except I was weak. I couldn’t stay away from you.

“But I hated the way guys leered at you. Seeing you as some sort of conquest. At the club that night, around campus. I finally decided I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted you and was tired of pretending I didn’t.”

“So what, you got me and decided to make it public by humiliating me on that website?”

“I didn’t put that information on there. I would never do that.”

I crossed my arms. “So how did it get there, then, huh? How did the picture, the very one you asked Fallon to send you, end up on that website? You sure were eager to get a copy.”

“Of course I wanted our picture,” he said, a wounded expression on his face. “But I’d never do that. Noah did.”

“It’s pretty convenient that he’s not here to defend himself while you point the finger at him.”

“I have no reason to lie about any of this.”

“You have every reason to lie.”

With a humorless smile, he shook his head. “You weren’t exaggerating when you said you hated me, were you?” He stood and walked to his room. “Come here.”

“I’m not going to your room with you.”

“I just want to show you something before I pass out. And trust me, I’m going to pass out soon. So don’t worry, I’m not going to try anything.”

I huffed, “Fine.”

He sank onto his bed and reached into his nightstand. He dug around then handed me a picture. I held it as he fell back onto the bed and rested his head on his pillow.

I looked at the picture of Ryder, Noah, Paige, a woman who looked like an older version of Paige, and Jeff. The family was standing in an orchard of some sort. “Why—why have you never said anything?”

“I didn’t want you to know. I was scared if you knew he was my stepbrother you’d never give me a chance. I was scared you’d decide not to get involved with me out of some sort of moral or ethical bullshit.” He tucked his arm behind his head. “Oh, and because I can’t stand him. You know, he doesn’t even need glasses? He wears them to look smart. He thinks it helps him pick up girls.” He rolled his eyes. “They have no idea what he’s really like.”

I plopped onto his bed and stared at the smiling family in the photo. “But if you hate him, why are you roommates?”

“I told you, Jeff pays my tuition, which includes this place. Mom never could have afforded private dorms, especially not a suite. And, really, who wouldn’t choose a private room if it was an option?” He shrugged. “Though Noah can be an annoying prick, we got along well enough…up until a few weeks ago.”