Just a Little Crush(44)

“Maybe you should ask him.”

“If he’s sleeping with other girls? I can’t do that. It’s not my business. I’m not his girlfriend.”

“If you are even considering sleeping with this guy, it’s your business.”

She made a valid point, but…“I’m not going to sleep with him.” No matter how much I wanted him, I’d never build up the nerve to ask for sex again and that was his condition. He was smart to put that restriction on me. He placed all the power in my hands because he knew I’d have no idea what to do with it.

“If you say so.” Fallon shrugged and rolled onto her stomach. She tucked her blanket under her chin and yawned. “I’m sleeping this hangover off. Don’t wake me unless the building is on fire or you have sex with Ryder.”

I laughed and curled onto my side. “Don’t worry. I won’t wake you.”

—

My phone chimed and I rolled onto my back. The room was dark, but I could make out Fallon’s silhouette buried under blankets on her bed. I grabbed my phone to read the text.

Ryder: Meet me downstairs?

I checked the time; it was already seven.

Me: Now?

Ryder: Ten minutes.

Me: Ok.

I jumped out of bed and pulled on my favorite jeans, tore off my T-shirt and slipped on a cami and flowing sheer top. It was feminine, but didn’t scream Have sex with me. Like I had. The night before. Figured it couldn’t hurt to gain back some modesty.

I rushed to the bathroom, brushed my teeth again, pulled my hair into a ponytail and smeared on some lip gloss. Then decided to add some mascara and bronzer. I didn’t wear a hangover well, so makeup was more a necessity than usual. But I didn’t want to look like I’d put too much effort into my appearance. Once semi-presentable, I went downstairs to meet Ryder.

He sat on the steps leading to my dorm.

“Hey,” I said.

He turned and his gaze drifted down my body then slowly made its way back up. “Hi.” He stood as I approached. “Ready to go?”

“Um, sure. Where are we going?”

“On a date.”

“A date?”

“Yeah.” He looped his hand through mine and led me toward the parking lot. “Have you eaten?”

“Not yet.”

He opened the passenger door of his car and I slid in.

“Do you like Dan’s?” he asked as he climbed into the driver’s seat.

“Of course. Best cheeseburgers in town.”

He smiled but other than that said nothing.

We drove in silence. A ton of questions ran through my mind, starting with “Why?” He’d seemed pissed earlier, and now, here we were on a date? Ryder had mastered the art of mixed signals. It was hard enough to gather my thoughts around him; his cryptic nature didn’t help. When in his presence, my analytical side went into self-destruct mode. Or maybe it went into over-analysis mode. Either way it seemed to be currently malfunctioning. Before I could initiate conversation, we’d arrived at Dan’s Burgers.

Ryder ordered two cheeseburgers, a basket of fries and two drinks without so much as a word to me. It was shaping up to be an unusual date.

“Thanks,” I said as he placed my food in front of me.

“No problem.” He put the tray on the self-serve condiment counter then slid into the booth, across from me.

I took a bite and tried to think of a safe subject to talk about but he beat me to it.

“Tell me more about your family,” he said.

“Okay, what do you want to know?”

“Anything you want to tell me.”

“Um, I don’t really know what to say.”

“Tell me more about your grandma.”

Thoughts of Grandma made me smile. It had been a while since my last in-person visit. Though the house was only a forty-minute drive into the suburbs and I could visit whenever, I avoided going home because of Mom.

Ryder waited for me to say something.

I said the first thing to come to mind. “She’s the kindest person I know. I love her and can’t imagine life without her. I don’t understand how a woman like her ended up with a person like my mom as a daughter. I think she blames herself but it’s not her fault Mom has issues.” I’d sort of vomited out way too much personal detail. I slid back in my seat and sipped my soda.

“Go on.”

“It’s not that interesting.”

“It is to me.”

I studied him.

His green eyes flicked up and locked onto mine.

“My mom’s an alcoholic,” I blurted.

He paused with his burger midair. “When did she start drinking?”

“She always drank, ‘partied’ would be more accurate.” I tore a piece of bun off my hamburger. “I guess she felt like she was too young to be raising a kid. So instead she tried too hard to be like everyone else her age. Dated too many guys. Sucked up to too many friends. Anything for acceptance. But when she met Mike, things finally changed and she settled down. I was fourteen when they started dating. He stuck around the longest. Almost a full year. He seemed nice, and he made Mom happy…for a while.”