Just The Way You Are(96)
When the kite festival began at four o'clock, Alli found herself just behind the starting line, waiting for the others to come back with the kites. Sam walked up to her a moment later, his hands empty. "Megan insisted on carrying the kite."#p#分页标题#e#
Alli simply smiled.
He put a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"
"Not really. Do you think Grams would mind us doing this?" she asked. "It seems disrespectful."
"I think she'd expect you to go on, Alli. It's what she always did, after she lost her son and later her husband. Even when Tessa left, she told us to get on with our lives, that we weren't meant to stand still in one place, but to embrace whatever life held in store for us."
His words gave her a comfort unlike any other, and she couldn't stop herself from giving him a tender kiss on the lips. It was meant to be a brief caress, but once there, she found herself lingering, tasting, memorizing everything about him. They hadn't talked about anything personal in the last forty-eight hours, and soon they would have to face the reality of their lives. But not now. Now she just wanted to stop thinking and love Sam for just a few more minutes.
When she finally pulled away, she was almost shaking from the intensity of her emotions. She didn't know if she could bear to lose Sam now. Her resolve to let him go, to give him his freedom, had weakened considerably since her grandmother's death. How could she go on alone? But she knew she had to do just that. She had to let Sam have a chance at the life he wanted, whatever that was.
Sam looked down at her, his eyes dark and serious. "We need to talk, Alli."
Her stomach turned over. She couldn't do this now. Couldn't say good-bye to anyone else, not today.
"We can't. They're about to start the kite race."
He hesitated, seeing she was right as Megan, Jimmy, and Tessa drew near.
"Daddy, are you ready?" Megan called, lining up next to Jimmy and Tessa.
"Do us proud, okay?" Alli said lightly.
Sam leaned over and kissed her firmly on the mouth. "I'm going to impress the hell out of you. Just watch."
"I won't be able to take my eyes off of you," she said. I never could.
The race took off with the sound of a whistle, and within minutes the blue sky was covered with a kaleidoscope of colors talking a ride on the wind. Alli kept her eyes peeled on the kite upon which Megan had so lovingly drawn a picture of their family. Would this be the last time they were together? Would this be the end of everything?
She tried not to think about it, tried to let the worries fly away as easily as some of the kites, but deep down inside, she knew they were heading toward the moment of truth, for now that Grams was gone, Tessa was free to go or to stay, and Alli wasn't sure she could bear it either way.
In the end Sam and Megan came in second, because somehow Jimmy and Tessa, flying Grams's old kite, caught a breeze that wouldn't quit, and Alli could do nothing but smile, for it was Grams's day after all.
* * *
The next night Alli looked out her bedroom window and saw a sky filled with stars. One of them seemed to give her a wink as if to say, I'm okay, don't worry about me anymore. Alli blew the star a kiss and walked over to the bed.
She sat down, staring at Sam's side, so empty, so cold. They'd barely spoken since the fireworks the night before. She'd spent the day with Megan down at the beach, relaxing, trying to breathe some normalcy back into her daughter's life while Jimmy and Tessa had kept themselves busy somewhere else.
Alli knew Tessa was planning to leave soon. She'd mentioned that she had to get down to L.A. to finish the assignment she and Jimmy had been scheduled to complete last week. But Tessa had been deliberately vague about her long-term plans.
Alli started, hearing footsteps on the stairs, heavy footsteps, a man's footsteps. She jumped to her feet as Sam filled the doorway. He was wearing a brown leather jacket over his shirt and jeans. "You scared me," she said breathlessly, pulling the tie of her bathrobe, suddenly aware of what she wasn't wearing underneath.#p#分页标题#e#
"Sorry, I didn't want to ring the doorbell and wake Megan up." He took a step into the room and set a suitcase down on the floor.
Her heart sank to her toes. Was he leaving with Tessa? Had he come to say good-bye?
"How are you, Alli?"
"I'm hanging in there. I feel like I've been on a roller coaster this past week." She studied the intense look in his eyes. "My ride isn't over yet, is it?"
"Tessa is going back to L.A. in the morning," Sam said.
She held her breath, not daring to ask if he was going with her.
"She said she'd come back to help you deal with Phoebe's house and her things," he added.