Jeeves and the Wedding Bells(18)

I took a chair by the inglenook. After a bit of straining and pouring, Jeeves drew himself up to his full height.

‘Sir?’

‘Yes, Jeeves?’

‘There’s been a development.’

‘What?’ There was something in his manner that froze the cup halfway to the lip.

‘You will recall that I mentioned Sir Henry’s interest in horses, sir, and our animated conversation on the matter.’

‘Of course. How did your tips do? Any winners?’

‘Three of the horses were successful, sir, and the fourth was beaten by a short head.’

‘And had Sir Henry piled into them?’

‘As much as he was able to in his somewhat illiquid circumstances, I believe.’

‘So he must be happy as a sandboy.’

‘He called in half an hour ago to bring the news and—’

‘Golly. Close escape.’

‘His mood was decidedly improved. He was most generous in giving me credit for the reversal in his fortunes.’

‘I should jolly well think so. So why the long face, Jeeves?’

‘Sir Henry appears convinced that I can be relied on to effect similar results from the rest of the meeting.’

‘And can you?’

‘I think it highly unlikely, sir.’

‘And you told him so?’

‘I did, but he was undeterred. He said that even if he lost on every race he would still be “ahead of the game”, and what’s more he would have had the pleasure of getting to know a fellow aficionado of the sport of kings.’

‘He what?’

‘Sir Henry has invited me to stay at Melbury Hall, sir.’

I lowered the cup with a clatter. ‘You declined, of course.’ Even as I uttered the words, I felt they had a familiar ring – as did the reply.

‘I regret, sir, that in the circumstances I deemed it best to accept.’

I let off a gasp like a locomotive on a steep incline.

‘This requires some careful thought, Jeeves.’

‘Indeed, sir.’

I stood up and paced about the room, catching my head a glancing blow on a beam as I did so.

‘Couldn’t you just have said no?’

‘Sir Henry was most persuasive, sir. He described our present accommodation as a “squalid little arrangement” and said he would be delighted for an excuse to move Mr Beeching out of the corner room, which enjoys particularly fine views of—’

‘But this leaves me in the soup, doesn’t it? How am I supposed to play Cupid when there’s no one to press my evening shirt?’

‘Talking of shirts, sir, I have spent some time in planning the sort of wardrobe that might be necessary for Lord Etringham until Sunday evening. The appropriate dress would be—’

‘Damn it, Jeeves, there are times when the question of the appropriate dress is simply not on the agenda.’

‘I have yet to encounter one, sir.’

I sat down again in the armchair and dabbed away a trickle of blood from the temple.

‘I’m stumped, Jeeves. I feel I’m losing touch with the field. Any ideas?’

‘It did strike me, sir, that were you to divulge to me your plan for the reuniting of Mr Beeching and Miss Hackwood it might be possible to turn my presence at Melbury Hall to our advantage.’

There was something about Jeeves’s manner in this exchange that troubled me. I don’t know if you’ve ever bumped into one of those chaps at parties who go round the merry throng doing card tricks. You’re not sure if he’s a fellow guest or a hired entertainer. You watch his hands like a vulture, ignoring the patter – and then suddenly he opens a girl’s evening bag and whips out the ten of diamonds. You feel a mug. And you don’t know whether to bung him half a crown or not.

I wouldn’t say I thought that Jeeves had a spare pack up his sleeve exactly, but I felt he was a fraction – what’s the word I want … evasive. I put this down to the success of the Melbury Hall Raid. If Jeeves has a fault it is that he can sometimes allow another’s triumph to upset him. It rankles.

Making no allusion therefore to my recent run of form, I went on to outline Plan A.

‘I’ve been doing some thinking.’

‘Really, sir?’

‘Yes. Let us consider the psychology of the individual.’

‘Which individual, sir?’

‘Miss Hackwood. Amelia. A well brought-up girl, would you say?’

‘Undoubtedly so.’

‘An only child. Though for the last ten or so years having a near-sister in Georgiana … Went to a boarding school or convent … Kings of England, scripture knowledge, spot of algebra, music and movement, that sort of thing.’

‘Miss Hackwood is an accomplished violinist.’