Jake Undone(91)

If Nina chose to leave me, a day wouldn’t go by when I wasn’t pining for her. The thought of her moving on, having sex with other men, marrying someone else, having children with him, seriously made me want to hurt someone. I honestly didn’t know how I would handle it. She could leave me physically, but she would still be in my heart and in my soul forever. There would never be anyone else.

I had to get out of the apartment before I lost it. I grabbed my keys and jacket and left, walking down the street with nowhere to go. As it started to rain, I stopped inside a bar several blocks from home.

It was dark and loud and just what I needed to drown everything out. I sat at the counter fully intending to get fucked up tonight.

“Grey Goose straight,” I told the bartender.

As I sucked the first drink down in one shot, the two voices in my head were battling one another. There was the louder one telling me to never give up on Nina because she was mine and because I felt with all of my heart that she truly loved me. Then, there was that other voice telling me to let her go because she deserved better than to be with a man who could never give her a hundred percent. I wanted to destroy that voice completely, so I ordered another drink.

“I’ve never seen you in here before.” For the first time, I looked up at the bartender and noticed that she was an attractive blonde. She placed the small glass down in front me, her tits bursting out of a black leather bustier. Suddenly, the dark dingy bar had somehow transformed into Coyote Ugly.

“That’s because I have never been in here before,” I said, before drinking down the vodka.

“I would have remembered you,” she said flirtatiously before walking away to serve another customer.

Within a few minutes, she was back with another drink. “This one’s on me. What can I say? I have a weakness for guys with tattoos, especially gorgeous ones.” She winked.

“Thanks,” I said, guzzling that one down too.

She leaned in. “You seem down about something.”

“You could say that.”

“You want to tell me about it?”

“It’s too long of a story…um…what’s your name?”

“Lexie.”

“Lexie, it’s too long of a fucking story,” I repeated.

She moved closer up against the counter. It was hard not to look at her chest because it was staring me in the face. “Well, it’s a good thing I have time.”

I laughed under my breath. “You don’t. Not for this one.”

“What’s your name?”

“Jake.”

“Try me, Jake.”

The “fuck me” look in her eyes suggested she was referring to trying more than her attention.

“I’d really rather not get into it with someone I just met.”

She reached across the table and caused me to flinch when she planted a kiss on my cheek.

What the fuck?

“See…now, we’re old friends, Jake.”

“Well, old friend, I really don’t feel like going into it.”

“Does it involve a woman?”

“Yeah…a couple of them.”

“Well, any woman who would be dumb enough to let you go would have to be out of her mind.”

I shook my head in disbelief at how messed up and ironic that statement was. How did I end up here…both in this bar and in this miserable state? I checked my phone.

Where are you, Nina? Goddammit, I need you.

I didn’t know what came over me, but I started telling Lexie my entire life story. I must have been rambling for almost an hour. I guess I needed to let out everything that was eating away at me. By the time I had finished, she had served me more vodkas on the house, and I was off my ass.

When she walked away to tend to some new customers, I no longer had a distraction and the pain returned in full force. I checked my phone again to see if Nina had returned my calls, and of course, she hadn’t. I did have a voicemail…from Ivy.

I went outside to escape the noise of the bar and played the message. She was somewhat incoherent. Given that my mind was fuzzy on top of that, the only thing I seemed to be able to make out was ‘good bye.’

Shit. What was Ivy trying to tell me? She rarely called my phone. I speed dialed the main number for the group home as my heart raced. The night staff confirmed that she was in her room and okay after they checked in on her. Hearing her say “goodbye” had scared the shit out of me, though.

Still feeling uneasy, I walked back inside and stayed sitting at the bar until they closed. I think I almost passed out in my seat. That was the most I had to drink in a long time. It was time to get the hell out of there.

Things were hazy as I exited the bar. Even the cold air hitting my face did me no good. As I started the long walk home, an older white Volvo pulled up beside me.