Imperfect Truth(32)
I stand close to the canvas so that I can admire the fine brush strokes in the closest detail possible. When I regain my composure, I notice I’m still clutching the folded up piece of paper. As I open it, I swear I can smell the familiar cinnamon spice scent I equate with Ryder. It’s obvious to me his intention is to pursue me with reckless abandon. This work of art only cements the notion. His ability to read me and make me feel knows no bounds. Being with him is easy. The simplicity is absolute. I fear if I let him go, I will never experience anything like this again. I look down at the note; there is only one sentence on the page.
I sit in awe, my heart full and beaming with promise. Warmth spreads through me. Ryder exposes me to feelings I’ve never felt before. He makes me feel cherished. When I think of him I’m happy, so content...but I still feel like a part of me is missing, As long as I hold him at a distance…I will never feel complete.
Pulling my phone from my robe pocket, I call Ryder. As he says hello, I confess my absolute adoration of him.
“You are an amazing man, and I adore you.”
He laughs, and the sound warms my heart. “I see you got my little present.”
I feel as though I’m falling into an abyss. Emotions flood me, bathing me in warmth.
“Ryder, I love her.” And I do. She is everything. She means everything.
“I can’t imagine her going to another home.” He pauses. His voice mimics how I feel…smitten. “She belongs with you. You have taken over my thoughts. You are perfect to me. When you look at her…remember that every flaw you have makes you more perfect.”
“She’s a masterpiece.”
“No Ava, you’re a masterpiece. One that is destined to be immortal.” His words draw me closer; they imprison me.
“Nothing prepared me for you, Ava. You have infiltrated my soul in a way no one ever has before.”
His words are beautiful as they engulf me in his devotion, but in the back crevices of my mind, I’m torn. On the one side is Ryder. On the other is Alexandre—my once perfect Alexandre. It wasn’t so long ago that we were best friends. Every morning we would make love and hold each other, always connected.
The changes happen gradually. Alexandre’s father started to travel more and Lenore became a daily fixture in our lives. The happier we became, the more needy she became. Over time, the need turned into bitterness.
A swift deterioration in Lenore’s behavior occurred right after Alexandre, and I had gotten married. I assumed Lenore would stop hating me once I was part of the family, but it had only fueled her hatred. Alexandre’s need to leave the status quo has led me to resent him, and a vicious cycle has begun. I used to think that saving my marriage was the most important thing, but now the thought of losing Ryder is what breaks me in two.
He makes me not think straight.
He makes me insatiable.
He makes me greedy.
He makes me want more.
“Can you meet me today?”
“Nothing would make me happier”
“Okay, great.”
I think for a moment of where we can go, where no one will see us. Gramercy Park is out, so is the Upper East. As I quietly think, Ryder speaks.
“I’ve the perfect spot. Have you ever been to Café Expresso?”
“No, where is it?”
“It’s on St. Marks Place and 1st Avenue.”
I think about the location, and come to the conclusion that there is no way anyone I know would be in that location.
“Sounds great! What time?” I beam.
“1 pm?”
“Great, that gives me enough time to shower.”
“Shower, hmm.” Hearing him speak makes my body flush with heat.
“Get your head out of the gutter.”
“Nope, no can do, the idea of you naked…great, there goes my afternoon.” His voice leaves me in a disoriented haze, making me delirious with delight.
“Okay, see you soon.” My giggles echo through the phone.
“Not soon enough.”
AS I STEP OUT of the cab, my ballet flat narrowly misses a puddle of what I can only assume is sewer water. I want to turn back and thank the driver with all sincerity-not really-for his considerate drop off location, but surprise, he is already speeding off down the street.
I watch as he almost hits a delivery truck and thank my lucky stars I’ve made it out alive.
The scalloped awning says Café Expresso. The café is colorful with outdoor seating. The tiny tables with wicker chairs seem quaint and cozy. On the window next to the door is painted writing, in red, blue and green a list of some of the delectables they serve. There’s even a cute little drawing of a patch of mushrooms and a coffee cup. As I walk closer to the entrance, butterflies flutter in my stomach.