I'm Nothing (The Family Book 2)(19)

“Our fathers don’t define us, Tonio. We define who we are. They fucked us up along the way, but we can make a choice as well,” Luiz said.

Tonio nodded. In that brief moment, he recalled the beatings, the insults, all of it.

You’re nothing, boy.

Piece of worthless shit.

They were all words.

“When all of this is over, Zara is remaining with me. I’ve already arranged for college for her. I want her to have the chances that were taken from her.” He’d been looking into colleges. Tonio secretly hoped she picked the online college so he could see her every single day. She calmed him, and the pain that he’d suffered at the hands of his father had started to fade away. The thought of her leaving left him feel sick inside.

“Oh, do you lo-ove her,” Luiz asked.

Laughing, Tonio shook his head. “Why did I know one of you would start that?”

“What? Our life is serious all the time. What’s wrong with having some fun?” Jake asked. They all stood in the dining room, each at a different part of the table. Donnie at the head, Tonio at the foot, with Luiz and Jake either side.

“If we pull this off, our lives could be our own. We could make the change that we’ve been planning for, hoping for.”

“I think it’s possible,” Luiz said.

“Has Lucien accepted the invite?” Tonio asked.

“All of our enemies have taken the invite. It will be like a ripple effect. Once we kill the ones closest to us, their sources will come to us,” Donnie said. “No one wants to mess with The Family.”

“We show them we mean business,” Jake said.

“How are you feeling?” Tonio asked.

“Strangely excited. When we saved my dad the last time, I couldn’t help but be a little … concerned. He’d been part of the life from birth. He’d been a soldier, and I didn’t know if he’d ever be able to handle change. I guess when it all came down to it, he really couldn’t,” Jake said.

“Are we sick fucks that none of us care that our fathers are gone?” Tonio asked.

“The world is a better place for it,” Luiz said. “Let’s face it, our fathers always knew how to hit where it hurts. If Donnie’s dad was alive, Paige would be dead, or the kid she is carrying would be. Mysterious things always happened, and it was also messages to those who had something to lose. This time, it’s not going to happen.”

“When is the party being held?” Tonio asked.

“A week from Saturday. Everyone is invited. Of course, kids are not seeing as this is an adult only party. All people with kids will be turned away,” Luiz said.

“I’m not bringing Zara.”

“Our fathers used to go to parties alone, and pick up women. I think us going without our respective women will look like we’re cut from the same cloth as our parents,” Donnie said. “It always freaked me out when I saw Dad with a new woman. I hated it, but at the same time, it meant he’d leave Mom alone.”

“We’ve all got our memories,” Tonio said.

All of them turned to him. “Yes, we do.”

Silence fell on the room. Tonio wanted to tell them the truth right there, but he didn’t want to risk spoiling it by his past. It was bad enough he lived it. The thought of his friends being repulsed by him was too much to bear.

“Come on then, are you in love with Zara?” Luiz asked, changing the subject, and making Tonio feel relief.

“I think I do. She’s not like anyone else I’ve ever been with.” He smiled. “She makes me smile, and it’s fun, you know?”

“Paige drives me crazy, but I wouldn’t have her any other way. With her being pregnant she’s worried I don’t want her anymore, but I just laugh. That’s never going to change. She’s my world, and I will love her for the rest of my life.”

“Have you heard these sappy boys?” Luiz asked.

“I don’t know. I’d rather be sappy than be alone.”

“What about you and Charlene? You’ve gotten close,” Donnie asked.

“It’s not going to work out. She doesn’t like men. At least that is what she told me. Your father ruined her for all men.” Jake shrugged. “I’ll be there to care for her, and for your little sister. Love for me is not on the cards. What about you, Luiz?”

“I’m free as a bird.”

“I always thought you were gay.”

“Please, you just wanted me,” Luiz said, running a hand down his body and batting his eyes. “Anyone who is anyone wants this body.”

Rolling his eyes, Tonio glanced down at the time.

“The cameras have all been installed, and we have the footage we’re going to unleash when everyone is here. The soldiers who swore loyalty to us have been given their instructions. When the last guest arrives, they will seal everyone inside. No one leaves without our instruction. Pack your weapons, and make sure you’re protected. It will get bloody,” Donnie said.

“Anything else?” Tonio asked.

“Yeah, let’s try and have fun. If this goes according to plan, we may have the rest of our lives to look forward to.”

****

“So, you and Tonio?” Paige asked the moment the guys were gone.

Zara chuckled. She was standing in the kitchen, baking up a fresh batch of bread. Even though for her own safety she was confined to the apartment room, she liked to make herself useful. She baked for herself and Tonio and delivered bread to Paige, Charlene, Jake, and Luiz. That work alone kept her busy. She never made pizza though. She wanted to forget about the scent of pizza, the way it looked, and just the entire process.

“I had to wonder about Tonio. He always looked sad,” Charlene said.

“There is something sad about him,” Paige said. “All of the guys have been through so much. It’s amazing that they can actually function at times. It makes me angry at how their parents got away with it.”

“They had all the right people in their pocket,” Charlene said. “So are you and Tonio a couple?”

“We’re a couple.” She gave a little squeal. “A real couple. We’ve not admitted that we love each other, but we do like each other.”

“Do you love him?” Paige asked.

“Yes. I do. He’s … I was always fascinated with him in high school, you know? There was just something about him, and now, getting to know him. Yeah, I love him. I won’t tell him though, not yet. He could run at the moment, and think I’m a crazy person.”

“You are a crazy person,” Paige said. “Okay, so you’re with Tonio. Now, Charlene, what about you and Jake?”

“Nothing is going on between Jake and me. We’re friends.”

“He likes you.”

Zara saw the sadness in Charlene’s eyes. “I’m just not … attracted to him, you know? I don’t want anything with any men. I didn’t even like Anthony. He forced himself on me, and I’ve never fancied men.”

“You’re a lesbian?” Paige asked.

“Yeah, I am. Growing up I knew I was attracted to girls, and that has never changed. If anything, it has only gotten stronger.”

“I’m so sorry,” Zara said.

“Do you find one of us attractive?” Paige asked.

“No, you’re both safe. I don’t have a thing for women who are already taken.”

“Damn, and here I was hoping to spice things up,” Zara said. She hadn’t been a virgin for three days, and Tonio was making good on his promise to show her better than porn. At night if he was out late on business, she’d purposefully leave a porn film running so that he’d wake her up. She loved teasing him.

She loved everything about him, and hoped one day he would trust her enough to open up about his past with his father. His nightmares had lessened, and when he did have them, she’d welcome him into her arms and body. Zara couldn’t turn him away. She didn’t want to.

“I never expected to have kids, and I’ve got a daughter. I’m not going to go looking for romance. It wouldn’t be fair on Donnie.”

“You’ve got to learn to have some fun for you as well. This bad stuff happened to you, but remember Donnie said he’d be there for you, honey. If you want to look for the right woman, then look. We’re not going to stop you,” Paige said.

“What about his thoughts? I’m gay, Paige. Not many people can handle that.”

“Donnie’s different, and don’t worry about a thing. I can handle my husband.”

Zara spread some tomato paste on the center of the bread, followed with a sprinkle of parmesan. She rolled the bread up like a sausage, and crossed the bread over in the pan.

“Wow, that looks delicious,” Paige said.

“It will taste even better once it has proofed and then baked.” Zara covered the bread, and placed it in a warm place to rise.

“Where did you learn to bake and to cook?” Charlene asked.

“My dad.”

“It’s fun, isn’t it?” Paige asked.

“Yes. I love it. I always feel close to my dad when I do. I feel like if I copy his recipes, I’m remembering him, and he’s still alive. Does that sound crazy?” she asked.

“No, not at all.” This was from Charlene.