Hot For Teacher(130)

I crack my neck and give the room a tight smile as the whispers begin.

“May I speak to you outside for a minute?” I request quietly.

Arleen nods and falls in line behind me as I march to the front doors of the school.

“This isn’t going to happen,” I snarl once we’re outside.

She nods, not arguing, keeping her head down like I’m scolding her.

“You just had to do this now! You had to come into my life when everything was fine! I was absolutely perfect! And now you’ve gone and thrown a wrench into my entire existence!”

She continues to nod, refusing to look at me. Thank God she hasn’t started crying yet.

“Do you know how many hours I’ve wasted thinking about you? Do you have any idea how much I’ve worried about you? How much of a shit I give? And…” I pause, seeing her chin quiver at my tone. “…how badly it kills me right now to see how much you want to cry.” My shoulders relax and I want to touch her so badly it hurts.

She straightens her back, her jaw tightening. It pisses me off. Because I love that steely resolve of hers. I love how strong she really is even when she doesn’t think she is. I sort of love every damn thing about her.

Fuck! I meant like! I totally meant like!

“I don’t want you to be mad at me. I didn’t come to the ruins this weekend because Matthew got sick and I don’t trust the staff at the home to take care of him.”

“Haven’t you ever heard of Facebook or Twitter or the goddamned telephone?”

I don’t even want her to answer, because I’m running out of reasons to be mad at her. And I needed my anger. Because without it, I’d only be left with the love.

I’m not even going to bother with correcting myself this time. I know what I meant.

“You’re running out of reasons to be mad at me, aren’t you?” She smirks.

Fuck.

“Simon? Arleen?” The voice comes from behind me. Miss Shields is standing at the front doors, a strange look on her face.

“We’ll talk about this later, Arleen,” I say quietly and walk back into the school.

Back in the library, I sit back down at the table and stare at the wall, refusing to look at her when she takes her seat across from me. I think about all the things I want to be mad at her for. I think about Miss Shields and how long I’ve wanted her. I think about Arleen and how since she came into my life all the things I used to want now seem trivial and insignificant—Katie Shields included. And all the while, Arleen doesn’t speak a word. She merely sits across from me reading a damn book.

We sit silently until the research session is long over and we’re the only two left in the library. I continue to stare, but she still hasn’t said a word.

“Quit looking at me like that,” she says without looking up.

I tap my foot on the floor and my temper flares again. I open my mouth to speak, but she cuts me off.

“I’ve heard the big speech already, Simon. When you’re done convincing yourself of all the reasons you want to hate me, let me know. The only reason you’re mad right now is because you care about me. Plain and simple. And what kills you is that I’m not beautiful enough. I’m not easy enough. And I’m not stupid enough to fall for all the tricks you’ve used on them. Do you know what they say about you? Do you have any idea the stories I’ve heard?” She shakes her head. “You’re pissed because with me, you know you’re going to actually have to work at it. You’re pissed because you finally realize what it’s like to be in their shoes.” She stands, taking a breath, and begins filling her backpack with books.

Before I can address any of the things she’s said, she walks away, leaving me alone. I throw my books into my bag and follow her. The only thought I can seem to conjure is that there’s no way I can let her leave here tonight thinking she isn’t beautiful.

The sun is down now, but the parking lot lights are glowing. Her pace is so fast that I have to jog to reach her side. “Been planning to unload all that on me for a while?” I ask, out of breath.

“Leave me alone, Simon. I’m not planning to be another notch on your belt. So I guess we don’t have anything more to say to each other.”

I grab her shoulders, pulling her to a stop, and look into her eyes. The light from the lampposts makes the golden flecks in her eyes sparkle. You know, if I paid attention to that sort of pussy shit.

My thumb catches a strand of her hair, and as a few short seconds lapse, I realize I’m smoothing her hair between my thumb and her shoulder like an idiot.

I shake my head and grip her harder. “Arleen, I have no desire to fuck you!” My eyes shut as soon as the words come out. Well, that certainly clarifies everything. I’m sure she’s going to walk away feeling really great about herself now.