Hell And Back(27)

“I’ll get my phone, check the chili, and come right back.” I look down at Lilah while I feel his hands gently cup under my chin to lift my face up.

“I’ve got her, babe.”

I throw his hands off me as the memories of the past come roaring back.

Memories of when Adam wasn’t high and was trying to be nice. It was always, Babe, I love you. Babe, I need you. Babe, babe, babe, babe.

“Don’t call me that.” I don’t make eye contact as I rush past him before I have a meltdown in front of him.

By the time I make it to the house, my heart has started to beat at a normal pace. My breathing is almost catching up, and my shaking hands are now calm.

I grab the phone, check the chili, and rush back out to get Lilah.

By the time I make it into his yard, I’m stopped in my tracks. There in the middle of this square box sits this almost stranger with my daughter in his lap while he helps her put sand in the pail. But that’s not what stops me.

It’s the smile on her face, it’s her voice talking to him, it’s the sound of her giggles and laughs as he tickles her sides and she spills the sand.

It’s almost too perfect. I have to stop myself from dreaming, from thinking this is what I’m supposed to have. I made my deal with the devil, and I got out. I don’t deserve anything more.





Chapter Fifteen


Jackson





The minute I hear the gate door click shut, I look up. She’s beautiful, she’s absolutely fucking beautiful. The way the sun is hitting her from behind, she looks like an angel.

In the weeks since she has moved in, she’s gotten fuller. She’s starting to look healthy again. When she folded her arms across her chest defiantly, I noticed she has definitely filled out in that area.

What gets me every single time, though, is the life I see coming back into her eyes. The way she smiles more without even realizing she is doing it. The way her voice sounds when she is happy or the feisty attitude that is buried in there.

The way she reacts when I push her buttons. I know if I get in there, she is going to light up my dark world. She is going to bring light back into my life, too. Can’t say I can walk away from that.

“Did you get the phone?” I ask her as she makes her way closer to us. She replies by just giving me her phone. I don’t even have to use a code to unlock it.

I shake my head. “Do you know anyone can access your phone and information like this?” It’s safety 101.

“I have no idea. I’ve never had this type of cell phone before, so I have no idea what it does or doesn’t do. The last phone I had was a flip phone.”

“Imagine you lose this phone and someone finds it. They have access to whatever data you’ve got stored in there. Pictures, web browsing history, location data from the GPS. You have to have a lock on it to protect your information. It’s a scary place out there. Trust me, I know. I’ve seen it.”

“Okay, Jackson. You’re right. I’ll read the instruction manual tonight. Learn to lock it.”

I look down at the phone, entering my contact information. She isn’t lying when she says she has nothing else on it. She has one other contact, someone named Brad. Who the fuck is Brad? “I’m in there under Jackson, right after Brad.”

“Thank you,” she says softly, taking the phone from me. Not even setting my mind at ease about this Brad guy.

“Chili still cooking?” I see her playing on the phone, trying to figure stuff out.

“Um yeah, I have to put the corn bread in, but it takes forty minutes, so, Lilah, we have to go, honey, and leave Mr. Jackson to take his shower.”

“Ice ceam?” Lilah looks at me and asks. Her little ponytail loops more to one side since she was leaning against my chest.

“We can try and convince your mommy while we eat, how about it?”

I look over at her, waiting for her to chime in. But she just glares at me. Fuck, that mouth. What I want to do to it, what I want it to do to me.

“Come on, Lilah. Let’s go set up the dinner table with the special napkins Ms. Brenda got us while Mr. Jackson showers.”

“Okay, Momma. Ackson come our house?”

I set her down next to Bella. “Wouldn’t miss it for anything.” I smile at Bella. “I’m really hungry. Can’t wait for that turkey chili.”

“You can stay home if you like. Or better yet, I can prepare you a Tupperware and bring it over to you.”

There’s the firecracker. “Nope, I’m so happy I get to have dinner with two of my favorite girls.”

Lilah giggles while Bella reaches down, picking her up. “We eat in forty minutes. If you aren’t there, I’ll bring something over,” she says as she saunters away.