Hell And Back(26)

Lilah and I are starting our very own routine. Except for the fact she asks for Jackson sand castles a million times an hour.

I start dinner in the crock pot. Thank you to Google for those recipes. Let’s hope they actually turn out okay, or we will need to order pizza that Lilah keeps asking for.

“Momma sand castles?” She looks up from her coloring book.

“No sand castles, love bug, but how about we go blow bubbles outside?” I’m bringing out the big guns.

She scoots her chair back and runs to the front door, picking up the bag that holds all the bubble stuff in it.

Another present from Brenda. She even bought a bubble machine. You plug it in, and it blows out a constant stream of bubbles. I make a mental note to hide it in the closet, deep, deep in the closet.

We’ve been blowing bubbles for about five minutes when I hear a truck slow down and turn into Jackson’s driveway.

“Momma, look, Ackson.” She points across the street just as he gets out of his truck, smiling at us.

He makes his way over with Lilah yelling, “Ackson, we make bubbles, no sand castles.”

He scoops her up in his arms kissing her cheeks, making her giggle.

“What do you mean no sand castles?” he asks her.

“Momma said no.”

I look at her and think traitor in my mind.

“Is that right, princess? Would you like to order pizza and then make some sand castles?” he asks her like she really has the power to make these decisions.

“Actually I’ve got the crock pot on with some chili. It has been going all day. So pizza is a no-go.” My hands are itching to grab Lilah away from him.

“Okay, princess, no pizza, but maybe Mommy will let you come play in the sand while I take a shower before we eat chili.”

Did he just invite himself over for dinner? I’m thinking about how to play this off and how to uninvite him.

I hear a gasp, which knocks me back to the present conversation.

“Momma, Ackson say we go sand.” She wiggles herself out of his arms to grab my hand, dragging me across the street, while she follows Jackson to the side gate.

“Okay, princess, you can go play while Mommy watches, and I take a shower. Then we can have some chili and maybe some ice cream.” He stoops down to her right before she runs into the backyard, diving for the sand box.

“Now you will have to break a promise to her, because one, you aren’t coming for dinner, and two, I have no ice cream.” I fold my hands over my chest, making my small breasts seem fuller.

I see Jackson’s eyes travel down.

“Why can’t I come for dinner? You were here yesterday. I was thinking we could walk to the ice cream parlor in town. She has a stroller or you think she’ll be okay walking there?”

“I don’t know if you will even like it. I made it with ground turkey meat because it’s healthier. You don’t look like you eat healthy.” I try to look past him toward the sand box where Lilah is playing.

His laughing makes me look back at him. “How does someone who eats healthy look, Bella?” he says, teasing me.

I wave my hand up and down in front of him. “Not like that. I think they look smaller than you.”

He continues to belly laugh. “I like when you keep looking at me like that, Bella.”

“I don’t look at you.” I stumble, walking past him now to get Lilah. “Come on, baby, I have to go check the chili.”

“Momma, you play castle with me?” She fills up another pail with sand.

“No, baby, not today, maybe tomorrow. Come on, we need to go.” I pick her up and dust the sand off of her while she starts to cry. Turning to look at him, I glare.

“Now look at what you did!” I accuse him.

“I didn’t do that, you did that.” He points at me. “Why don’t you leave her with me, go check the chili, and then come back?”

“I don’t want her to get in your way,” I say while Lilah uses the back of her hand to brush away the tears that fell. “What if she needs me?”

“Bella, you’re going to be like twenty feet away. If she really wants you, I’ll bring her to you. Give me your phone.” He holds out his hand for me to hand him my phone.

“I don’t have it on me. I don’t need it. It’s somewhere in the house. I think the kitchen,” I say while thinking of where I left it. I’ve got no one to call or anyone calling me, so I never carry it with me.

“From now on, you keep it in your pocket. What if you fall and you need help? What if something happens to Lilah and you can’t move? You need to always have it just in case.”

I don’t even want to think of how right he is. I can’t even let my mind wander to the possibility of someone getting me or Lilah and not being able to call for help.