Good Enough(19)

This kiss tells me all that I need to know. Last night wasn’t just a drunken night of fun, he really does like me. Although I don’t understand why. I’m nothing special, but this kiss is. I can feel his desire for me in this kiss. This is how he’s communicating his feelings for me. I snake my hands up his chest, and around his neck to pull him closer to me. I start to wonder if I’m a good enough kisser. He’s not making any moans or anything. Does he like this? Maybe I need to be more playful? Okay, I’m going for it. I nip his bottom lip.

“Oooohhh.” He smiles.

Fuck yeah!

“Jameson…”

“Yeah…”

The warming sensation between my thighs is becoming hotter and wetter. Our breathing is getting heavier. Our hands are moving faster, exploring each other.

“I need a minute. I need to breathe.” I pant.

“I’m sorry.”

“No. It’s okay. Don’t apologize. I-I liked it. I just needed a minute… to breathe.” I say, honestly.

“I’m sorry. You just smell so good... taste so good… kiss so good. I lost myself in you.”

Holy crap!

“Our first song goes out to the couple making out on the dock.” A male voice announces. Quickly we turn our heads to the restaurant up on the hill. We never noticed the band setting up when we first pulled in.

I hear a keyboard… a guitar… drums… It’s “Is This Love”…

“I know this song!” I exclaim.

“Me too. It’s Whitesnake!”

“God, I love 80’s music!”

“Care to dance?”

“I’m not that good. I should warn you I’m fifty percent Polish.”

“Then we can be clumsy together because I’m a little Polish too.” He admits.

So, we danced…





“By all means, please, run away from here and make life better.”



October 2, 2001

GROWING UP IN A LOVELESS HOUSE doesn’t help a girl’s confidence level. Understand my frustration when Jameson told me that not only are he and his brother David going skydiving, but this girl he once fooled around with is going with them. I know who she is, we grew up in the same town. Gloria Moranski.

I’ve been internally struggling with this since Jameson told me. Why does he want to hang out with a girl he once fooled around with? Is it her that wants him? Can I compete with her? Other than sharing with Tess, I’ve kept these thoughts to myself.





I’M SUPPOSED TO MEET JAMESON and David at the pool hall tonight after work. David is spending the night at the apartment Jameson shares with his mom, Marcie. She’s a pretty cool lady. I’ve met her before when I’ve gone out with the guys. We would meet at Jameson’s house, and Marcie was always there, so while the guys were doing guy things I would sit and talk with her. I usually talked about my crappy relationship with my mom. It was nice to be able to talk to a mother figure.

I pull into the parking lot at Breakers Pool Hall, and take the open spot next to Jameson’s white Mustang. I check my hair and makeup in my mirror, spritz on some perfume, grab my purse and head on in, but not before making sure to lock up my car.

Breakers is packed, and music is bumping with “Then The Morning Comes” by Smash Mouth. The bar is dim inside, and the ambient lighting and loud music make me want to dance. I spot Mark the bartender I’ve grown to know better from frequenting here lately with Jameson. He says “hello” and points to the far corner of the room letting me know where I can find the guys. I thank him and let him know I’ll be back in a minute to get a drink.

I am relieved to see that Gloria is not with them. Not that I really thought she would be, but it had crossed my mind.

The guys are playing pool as I walk up, and David approaches me first, arms outreached for a hug. It’s the first time seeing him since his pimp parade at The Tavern for Jameson’s birthday.

“Hi, Hillary. It’s nice to see you again.”

He doesn’t hug me hard. He barely hugs me at all, but strangely it’s not awkward. Maybe it’s because he’s so damn thin.

“Hi David. You too. Are you kicking Jameson’s ass?”

“Hah. Actually no. He’s kicking mine this time but I won the first one.”

“How long have you guys been here?” I ask.

“Maybe fifteen or twenty minutes. It’s only the second game.” Jameson interjects as he stalks over to me with sparkles in his blue eyes. How many drinks has he had already? I wonder.

“Hey there.” I give him a swift kiss on the lips. “What are you drinking?”

“Red death.”

“You’ve had that before. What’s in it exactly?”