Flirting With Destiny(39)

“I wish I could, Aedyn. You don’t know how badly I want to come, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Are you sure? I’d love to have you come see my place in Chicago. My driver will be at my dad’s house at six in the morning to take us to the plane. By the time we get there, we’ll still have the rest of the day.”

Although my tears had stopped, I still felt deeply disappointed. If I were brave, I’d go. But I’m not. “I’m sorry, I just can’t right now.”

“Look, if you change your mind, let me know. I’ll give you my number.” He tilted his head to the side, peering into my face for confirmation, then pulled a business card out of the pocket of his suit jacket. “If you can’t come tomorrow, maybe another time. Just give me a call. My offer will still hold.”

I took the card, knowing it was a way to stay connected with him. If I’d given his phone number back, it would’ve ended right then and we’d say good-bye. Instead, I tucked his card into my purse, shoving it deep inside, along with my guilt for accepting it. Aedyn reached a strong arm around my shoulder and pulled me into a sideways hug and said, “Come here.”

It was an awkward hug at first, with me leaning into him while still perched on my bar stool, but what made it even stranger was, I could have sworn he was about to kiss me as he leaned in. It was as if he changed his mind and pulled away at the last minute, giving me a hug instead. The whole thing rocketed my mind into a realm of possibility, wondering what his kisses would feel like, wondering if I’d made a mistake by telling him I couldn’t go. Once more, my blood rushed through my body and the combination of my lust-filled thoughts and the warmth from his arm around my shoulder resulted in an explosive blast of energy, making our hug feel a million times more dangerous than an “old friends from high school” embrace.

I wasn’t sure what it meant to Aedyn, maybe this was all me, but it felt like the rug had been pulled out from beneath my feet. Something in the foundation of my belief system had shifted and my life was about to go crashing, full speed ahead, in a different direction. My gut wrenched and I had a feeling I’d have to take the ride, bumps and all, before I would find solid ground again. I was so screwed.





Chapter 17

Lauren

I felt so torn walking out of the bar, the indecision spiraling through my mind and weighing me down. On one hand, I felt like practically skipping… remembering Aedyn’s invitation; talking to him again; the way my skin felt when we touched. The connection between us nearly rattled my brain, setting my soul on fire.

On the other hand, I felt horrible. I’m engaged for goodness sake and seriously thought about running away with another man. Chip asked and I said yes. That was supposed to mean for better or worse, until the day I died. Amen.

I sighed, realizing my dilemma was bigger than two men and which one I should choose. My real problem was with myself, the scared little girl inside me just wanting to be loved. I was afraid. Afraid to go and afraid to stay, which kept me stuck in the comfort zone I was beginning to hate.

Was I really willing to settle for a ‘good enough’ life? Willing to forever justify Chip and his actions for the sake of a picket fence? My heart squeezed as I realized how close I’d come to doing just that. Then Aedyn showed up out of the blue, and turned my comfort zone on its head.

Aedyn. Just thinking about him curled my toes. Sitting so close to him and feeling his arm around me felt crazy good and I nearly changed my mind about going to Chicago.

I could use some time away from here to think things through, but I also knew that it would be nearly impossible with him so close. How the hell would I be able to go? What would I tell Chip? I couldn’t believe I was even giving this another thought.

Fear twisted in the pit of my stomach and a wild thought raced through my mind. What if I left and never came back? What if I simply disappeared? I could escape to the ocean, live in a tiny loft, walk on the beach every day.

No! I couldn’t run away just to avoid my problems. I had to make a decision about Chip and my engagement… and soon.

I dropped my phone into my purse. After leaving Red’s Place, I called Jules, asking her to meet me at the coffee shop where I was waiting for her. Jules would know what to do.

No sooner had Jules sat down when the waitress came with my order. Jules looked up at her and said, “I’ll have a hot chocolate.”

“Jules,” I sputtered, “it’s the middle of summer. It’s too hot for hot chocolate.”

“I know, call me crazy. I think I’m having a chocolate craving.”