Filling up the Virgin(161)

He was there in the picture, standing in the background, looking out of place in jeans and a t-shirt when the prom-goers were all dressed up. She remembered wishing that Conner would cancel. She had imagined being there at Michelle's house, crying because she had been stood up. Then, in her fantasy, Cole would have put on his father's tuxedo and escorted her to the prom. It would have been magical. At least, in her imagination.

But instead of sweeping her off her feet in a romantic gesture, he had fucked her at the graduation party and left her alone the next morning. Romance was never what it seemed to be in real life.

The doorbell rang. Amanda set the photo album aside. She was filled with more doubts now than she had been before. Seeing Cole again had made her feel like she was in high school all over again, but her high school crush had been nothing but a fantasy. And the reality was that Cole was a man with a reputation. A man who would be flying home after the wedding, leaving her and her son alone once again. She wouldn't let herself forget that again.

She picked up James and carried him downstairs. Cole was waiting at the door, looking rather nice in an expensive suit. He flashed a smile at her when she came outside, but she refused to let herself swoon over him.

“Hey,” he said, grinning wide. “You ready?”

“Yeah,” she said, keeping a neutral tone. “Yeah, I'm ready.”

They got into the car and headed to the wedding, and to what Amanda was sure would be the last time she ever saw Cole.





Chapter 12



Cole tried to strike up some conversation with Amanda on the ride over to the church, but she was oddly quiet. He wasn't sure what was wrong, or if he had done something wrong. When he'd left her this morning, they had been in a good place. Or at least he had thought. But now she seemed distant. As if she didn't want to be around him.

He told himself that it was his imagination. They had chemistry. He knew they did. This morning had proven that. Not just because they'd had sex. But because of how they'd spent time together, like a real family. He was sure that connection was there. He just needed to find a way to strengthen it. To make sure that Amanda saw what he saw. That they belonged together.

When they got to the church, he tried to hold her hand, but she had her arms full holding James. He would have asked her to sit with him during the ceremony, but she was a bridesmaid, and her place was up by the altar with Michelle. Blake had brought friends of his to be his groomsmen, so Cole didn't have a part in the ceremony. He ended up sitting in the front row, alongside his parents. And while his mother cried and the rest of the church's eyes were on Michelle, Cole's eyes were on Amanda. She looked beautiful, standing up there. He started to imagine her as the one in a white dress. Standing in front of a priest with him. Making their vows to each other.

He shook those thoughts off. They were foolish, he knew. Even if things started to work out between them, they were a long way off from thinking about marriage. But still, it was easy to imagine it. And it felt good.

The ceremony itself was fairly quick and simple. When it was done, Cole drove Amanda and James over to the rented hall where the reception was being held. There was plenty of food, and an open bar. Cole didn't intend to drink too much, but when Amanda continued ignoring him as the night went on, he found himself drinking more and more. By the time he stopped to think about how many he'd had, he was already quite buzzed. Enough, at least, that he had the guts to press Amanda in order to find out what was wrong.

He scooted his chair next to hers and took her hand. She had been quiet for a while, watching James dance with a group of other young children off to one side of the dance floor. When he took her hand, she looked up at him, a hesitant expression on her face.

“Amanda,” he said, trying to sort out his thoughts through the haze of alcohol. “Did I do something wrong?”

She frowned thoughtfully, studying his face for a long moment. Then she reached out and touched his cheek. “No. No, Cole, you didn't do anything wrong.”

Her words almost consoled him, except that she turned back away from him, her shoulders hunched. “Something must be wrong,” he said. “I'm not stupid. I can tell.”

“Just forget about it.”

“Why?” He shifted his chair so she had to face him. She turned her face away, but he leaned forward and made her look at him. “Amanda, I know I haven't been a part of your life for a long time, but we made a connection this weekend. I know we did.”

“Life isn't all about romance and magic, Cole.” Amanda shook her head, a sad frown on her face.

“Who says it has to be?” he asked. “Why can't it just be about two people making a connection. Feeling something for each other.”