Filling up the Virgin(134)

They had both grown and come so far it was hard to remember how it had all began so many years ago now. She had been lost and lonely, and he had been a strong force for her. Always there to lend an ear, or make all of her wrongs seem more manageable. She closed her eyes, remembering a very different time….

The moment Rafe left town Lacey knew she would miss him. She stood, brushing her long blonde locks, staring intently at the reflection of her face in the mirror. At 11 she was already a pretty girl, though her hurdles were there, still very much a part of her. She moved her hands down her hips, hating the way they felt, and stuck out. She wasn’t like the other girls at school, which was nothing new really.

Ever since her mother had scooped her up as a child and they had escaped the hell they were living in with her father, her life had been one change after another. Everything had been a struggle until her mother met, and married Ben Ramsey. He had been a good man, one that she looked up to and for the first time in her life she saw her mother smile, and be happy.

Part of her new world changed when she first came face to face with her step-brother Rafe. He was older by 6 years, and he was magnetic. Tall and dark, he was there to lend a hand, and to make her feel safe. There was an air of mystery about him, he would come and go as he pleased, always walking with the sort of swagger you would expect out of a rough house kind of guy. More than once she watched him walk out of the house, casually light a cigarette and hop on his motorcycle, to lead him somewhere.

Where he was going was always her focus. Who was he going to see and what was he doing during the night? At her young age, she would often daydream about riding with him, hopping on the back of his bike and letting the air flow freely through her long hair. She would escape with him in the night where everyone was understood and loved, despite their physical make up.

He never made her feel too big, though it was clearly an issue she was battling. Her weight was always an area of concern, though she did her best to make up for it in personality. Rafe was there, in spirit at least as she faced one new school year after another and dealt with the bullying. He had pushed her to keep going and now she was exactly where she wanted to be.

She blinked, once more pulling herself out of the daydream that she was living. That Lacey was gone, long gone. Life had been so hopeful then and now everything had changed, shifted somehow. Her home was full of strangers, and she was in her home office hiding from them all. She knew she needed to go back out there, if for any other reason than to comfort her mother. Ben had loved her for almost ten years, and he had been a good husband and father, despite the issues with Rafe.

She stood, tossing the pencil down on the desktop and walking over to the window to look out into the street below. She loved her townhome, and loved where she lived. Every detail of it was what she wanted, she knew it was the planner in her that had pulled off every aspect from the light fixtures to the final swipe of paint on the walls. She had worked hard to get here, and she had known very early on that she wanted a home… a good home that no one could take from her, or throw her out of.

When she won her first case she put the down payment on a home, and deep down she rested well knowing it was hers and no one else’s. Her mother had been staying there, it was too difficult for her to go home, and together they stayed up at night and laughed about old times… times before Ben had died bringing them all back together now.

If there had been any warning it may have made the blow a little easier, but as it were Ben went to work one morning and simply died in his office. A heart attack, at least that’s what they were listing it as. She had kissed him goodbye that morning, never thinking it would be the last time she saw him.

Getting the call from her mother about it had been the hardest day of her life. The level of emotion her mother expressed was almost overwhelming, and Lacey had carried some of the pain for her. At some point during the planning process, her mother had reached out to Rafe, and he said he would come… said he would be there. Some part of her hated the excitement she felt about seeing him, and the other part of her hated him for being like everyone else.

She took a step towards the door leading into the great room, and taking a deep breath, she walked back out into the mass of people who had come to pay their respects. She carefully calculated everything else that needed to be done, and found her mother in a corner, smiling at someone as she dabbed the wet tissue at the corner of her eyes. Lacey knew she never wanted to feel that way, to feel that kind of loss the way her mother was now. It was just easier to stay single, leaving all the pain to someone else.