Fashionably Dead Down Under(70)

“You’re asking me to bend the rules of Hell.” His voice was low and angry.
“No,” I countered. “I have no issue with how you handle your sinning souls. That’s your prerogative, but the Demons my father lied to and blackmailed . . . different matter.”
“Their souls are not clear.”
“True,” I agreed, “but they never had a chance. Never.”
“You drive a hard bargain, niece.” He laughed and clapped Ethan on the back. “You are a very lucky Vampyre to have garnered her favor.”
“I agree,” Ethan said.
“So?” I asked. “Do we have a deal?”
He took a seat next to me and I was overwhelmed by his beauty and power. Who did I think I was to bargain with the Devil? I was a blip in time compared to him . . . hell, I was a blip in time compared to my mate. I should have let Ethan negotiate. Shit.
“I shall agree with all but one point,” he said. His proximity was intoxicating and I found myself leaning toward him. “No weapons.”
WTF?
“You will only need your magic here. Have you seen any weapons in Hell?” he asked.
Thinking hard, I realized I hadn’t. I would think Hell would be armed to the teeth.
“We have no weapons here. We have no use for them. They are made to kill. Magic can do both, but there is a choice. Weapons leave little choice.”
“Jesus, that’s profound,” I muttered.
“Actually, he is.” Satan nodded in agreement.
“Wait. What?” I was completely confused.
“Your cousin, Jesus. He’s quite profound. I like him. Now his father is another story . . . sanctimonious shit.”
“You have a deal,” Ethan said quietly. “We will return your Sword and then we will leave. Forever.”
“Astrid?” Satan stared at me.
“Yes. Yes, you have a deal.”
He stood and moved to leave the room. “Oh, there is one more little thing.”
Of course there was.
“We need to return the Sword to its home before my brother God graces Hell with his pansy ass for lunch.”
“And that would be when?” I asked, hoping he wouldn’t say today.
“In three days on the lunar eclipse,” he replied. “The son of a bitch will be here in three days.”

Chapter 22
“We have three days to save the world. It sounds like the plot of a cheesy action flick,” I groaned and flopped down on the couch in our little guesthouse.
“I think it’s a test,” Ethan mused.
“A test?” I sat up and watched him move around the room. The fluidity of his movement and his ass in his jeans made me want to jump him, but there was no time for nookie right now.
“For you,” he said. “Satan is testing you for some reason.”
“Do you think the Sword of Death hasn’t really gone missing?”
He sat down next to me and absently played with my red locks. “I think things are happening to you here and he is testing your ability. I do believe someone has taken the Sword, but it’s gone missing before and he got it back. I find it interesting that he wants you to do it.”
“Us,” I corrected him.
“No, I’m incidental to him. His real interest is in you and I don’t like it.”
“Well, I’m not particularly happy about it either.”
“Come here,” he said.
I crawled onto his lap and looked at the man who was so much more to me than a mate. Gently, I ran my fingers over his perfect lips. Our connection went beyond sexual; it was elemental—necessary. Staring at him, I forgot where I ended and he began. Unsure what higher power even meant anymore, I instead thanked the stars, the sun and the moon for giving him to me.
“I love you, my Vampyre,” I whispered as I lay my head in the crook of his neck.
“And I you,” he said.
“Where do we even start to look?” I murmured as I snuggled closer.
“There are several family functions over the next few days,” General George bellowed from the doorway.
“Oh my God,” I shrieked, flying off Ethan and the couch, causing me to trip over the coffee table. “Does anybody in Hell knock?”
“Door was open,” he informed me.
“No,” I told him. “It wasn’t.”
His eyebrows flapped in laughter. “Fine. I picked it,” he conceded. “But we have work to do.”
“We?”
“Why of course, dear child. You didn’t think our great ruler would send you into the trenches blind. Did you?” He moseyed into the living room and headed for the kitchen. “You have anything to eat here?”
“No clue,” I muttered and watched him negotiate the room with amazing grace for such a huge monster. “I don’t eat food. Is Bambi here?”