Drowned Wednesday(64)

Suzy, in that short time, had torn the puffy sleeves off her dress and was reaching into her pink handbag to pull out a much larger, much scruffier leather suitcase with a broken strap. She undid her belt, put the case on the floor, and rummaged around in it.

‘What were you doing?’ asked Arthur. He felt quite cross that she’d been pretending, though he was also relieved. ‘What was with all that Suzanna stuff?’

Suzy pulled out her favourite squashed top hat and stuck it on her head with a pat to the crown that made it even more dented.

‘Promised, didn’t I? Old Primey wouldn’t let me go excepting I swear to be all ladylike and proper on the Border Sea. So I swore, but we ain’t on the Border Sea anymore, are we? We’re under it.’

‘I’m glad to see you,’ said Arthur. ‘The real you, I mean.’

‘Good to see you too, Arthur,’ declared Suzy. She spat in her hand and held it out for him to shake. ‘Be even better once I get out of these ridiculous duds. I reckon you couldn’t even run in this, let alone climb a wall.’

Arthur took her hand with some hesitation.

‘I didn’t really spit,’ whispered Suzy as they shook. ‘Just did it to stir up the Rats. They’re awful particular for folk who started out as vermin. Not that I hold that against them. They’re good mates to all the Piper’s children, long as it don’t cost them any hard cash or real secrets.’

‘Dame Primus didn’t say much in her letter,’ said Arthur as they sat back down. He tried not to flinch as his seat belt crept back around and refastened itself. ‘How is everything? How long has it been since I left you in the Far Reaches?’

‘Over a twelve-month,’ said Suzy. She carelessly poured some more tea, letting it slop over the top of the cup. ‘And a busy time it’s been. I reckon the Morrow Days have fair got the wind up about you, Arthur. And Dame Primus. You should see the stuff they’re sending down to try and keep her busy. One of the forms was eighty-two feet high when all the pages were stacked up! Mind you, that old Primus doesn’t really read like normal folk. She just sits there absorbing it. Like dropping a biscuit in tea. Oops!’

‘So they’re just sending lots of paperwork? That doesn’t sound so bad.’

‘Well, there’s also been assassins, sabotage, and tons more Nithlings boiling up out of the floor, and no help to deal with them,’ said Suzy, fishing for her biscuit with a spoon. ‘It’s been much more exciting than it used to be. Not that Dame Primus lets me anywhere near anything if she can help it. Lessons, lessons, and more lessons, that’s her idea of what’s good for me. Surprised she let me come along here, though I s’pose since you asked directly she couldn’t say no. Thanks.’

‘You do know what I want to do?’

Suzy nodded airily.

‘Course I do. We sit here in comfort scoffing tea and biscuits till we get swallowed up by old Wednesday whale. Then we have to get into some crazed pirate’s private world, which is stuck in her ladyship’s guts, grab the next bit of the Will, and then the usual, only you reckon Wednesday’s just going to hand over the Key.’

‘I guess that covers the main points . . .’

‘And you’ve got your own sorcerer along this time,’ said Suzy approvingly. She waved at Doctor Scamandros. ‘How-do. I’m Suzy Blue. Used to be an Ink-Filler.’

‘Pleased to meet you, young lady,’ said Doctor Scamandros. He leaned forward in his chair and came up against his seat belt. He looked puzzled, then subsided back again, obviously considering the three foot distance too far to travel. ‘I am indeed a sorcerer, though sadly not in full bloom. Doctor Scamandros is my name. I shall be assisting Lord Arthur and yourself, I believe, by constructing sorcerous disguises to ease your entry into Feverfew’s hideaway.’

‘Disguises! What kind?’ asked Suzy. ‘I wouldn’t mind a pirate rig myself, with some tattoos like yours.’

‘Actually,’ Arthur said, ‘I was wondering about disguising ourselves as rats. Ordinary rats, if that’s possible. I mean as an illusion, not as some kind of shape-change. I don’t want to get turned into a rat. Not that it wouldn’t be great to be a rat, if I had to be one —’ Arthur stopped before he got himself into any further embarrassment, since he was sure Longtayle and the helmsrat were listening to every word.

‘You want anyone looking at you to see a rat,’ said Doctor Scamandros.

‘Yes.’

‘It can be done,’ said Scamandros. ‘But I don’t have anything prepared, so I shall have to start from scratch. It will take time. The first things we will need are noses and tails.’