Drowned Wednesday(63)

However, we are pleased to report that progress is being made to return the Lower House to efficient operation. Rehabilitation of the Far Reaches has begun, with the Pit already 0.00002% filled in.



We have not been able to locate the Mariner as you requested, but as is no doubt evident, Accelerated Coal has been provided to the Raised Rats.



On the matter of these Rats, you must be wary in your dealings with them. It is possible they are still following some obscure and eccentric plan of the Piper’s, which may be in opposition to our own aims. Do not answer their questions! Their curiosity knows no bounds and they always seek knowledge forbidden to them. Unlike the Piper’s children, no effective means has been found to wash between their ears, so they have gathered far too many secrets.



Arthur stopped reading and looked surreptitiously at Suzy.

That’s what happened to her, he thought. He felt both sorrow and anger rising up inside him. She got washed between the ears and Dame Primus let it happen! Or made it happen. Dame Primus never liked Suzy!

Suzanna noticed his look. She gave him that fake smile and said, ‘Dame Primus requested that you read her letter most carefully.’

It’s not her fault, thought Arthur as he bit back a sharp retort. The sadness overcame the anger he felt. He couldn’t look at Suzy, so he went back to reading the letter.

One thing may be said for the Raised Rats. They do keep their agreements. One must merely be careful what one agrees with them.



We await further news from you, Lord Arthur, and trust that we shall soon be united, by your hand, with the Third Part of our supreme Mistress’s Will.



Until then, we remain your obedient and respectful servant.



May the Will be done.



‘That’s a fat lot of help,’ Arthur said to himself. He started to fold the letter, but it folded itself instead, ending up no larger than a postage stamp. Suzy held out her hand for it, so Arthur gave it to her, and she replaced it in her pink handbag.

Up in front, Longtayle was issuing more commands.

‘Extend top-eye!’

The helmsrat flicked switches and, in answer, the crystal globe began to shimmer. After a moment or two, it showed a picture of the sea outside the submarine. The bottom half was just blue water, but the top half showed a view of the Rattus Navis IV steaming away.

‘Rotate top-eye.’

Arthur caught another glimpse of Port Wednesday as the scene shifted through three hundred and sixty degrees, ending up back where it started, with the Rattus Navis still heading directly away.

‘Extend snout-eye.’

The snout-eye view was all blue water.

‘Tail-eye.’

The view in the globe changed again. It was still mostly water, but one corner of the great dark mountain of Port Wednesday was visible.

Longtayle swivelled in his chair to face the rear.

‘We’re ready to go, Lord Arthur. At your convenience.’ Arthur looked around. There was Suzanna, calmly sipping her tea. No longer the devil-may-care, ready-for-anything friend. There was Doctor Scamandros, looking unwell, his tattoos barely visible, hardly moving. The Mariner hadn’t come.

And then there’s me, thought Arthur. With a bruise on my head, one leg in a crabshell, and no real idea what I’m going to do even if we do get into Drowned Wednesday’s stomach and I can sneak into Feverfew’s secret little world.

Longtayle twitched one ear.

Arthur took a deep breath and said, ‘Let’s go!’





Twenty–one




THE HELMSRAT MOVED his levers and the distant hum became a louder vibration, rattling Suzanna’s teapot till she laid a firm hand on it.

‘Full ahead both engines,’ commanded Longtayle. ‘Helm steady as she goes. Dive to twenty fathoms.’

The view in the crystal globe became full of bubbles and blue water that slowly changed colour from a light azure to a deep blue-black. The submersible angled down and Suzanna’s tray slid along the table, till it was arrested by the raised lip, a feature Arthur hadn’t noticed before. The incline was gentle, and didn’t last long before the submarine levelled off.

‘Twenty fathoms,’ reported the helmsrat. ‘Cruising speed achieved. Eighteen knots.’

‘Very good,’ confirmed Longtayle.

‘Phew!’ said Suzanna loudly, startling everyone. She ripped off her large white hat and threw it on the floor. ‘Fair thought I’d never see a ceiling again with that on!’

‘Suzy!’ exclaimed Arthur. He started to get up and was surprised to find a restraining belt had automatically slid around his waist when the submarine dived. It had a buckle, but it took him a few seconds to work out how to release the old-fashioned bronze hook and clasp.