Dream Wedding(58)
“Sounds reasonable.”
“It does, doesn’t it.” His tone was sharp.
She squeezed his fingers gently. “You didn’t believe him then?”
“Of course not. He was taking the easy way out. I exploded. I told him that he was about twenty years too late to be a part of my life. I wasn’t interested in him as a father or a friend. As far as I was concerned, he should never contact me again. But he kept at me.” He sighed heavily before continuing. “Finally, I told him what life with my grandfather had been like. I told him about the times I’d been injured or put in dangerous situations. I detailed how my grandfather had often left me behind in strange villages or towns with minimal supervision while he ran off and explored something he considered too dangerous for a child. I told him that I’d been left in the outback with a guide who disappeared and left me, that my grandfather had forgotten where to find me and that I nearly starved to death. I told him there weren’t any words to make up for that. I said I didn’t want to see him or hear from him ever again. Then I hung up the phone.”
He felt uncomfortable with what he’d told her, but there was no way to recall the words. “I did warn you it wasn’t going to be pleasant.”
She ignored that comment. “What happened when he called back?”
“How do you know he did?”
She looked at him. “What else would he do? He called and apologized for all of that. What did you say?”
“That it was too late.”
She didn’t say anything for a while, then she pulled her hand from his. The rejection stung. Arizona had thought she might be upset or disappointed, but he hadn’t expected her to simply turn away.
He shifted to push off the sofa, but before he could, her arms came around him. She moved close and rested her head on his shoulders as she clasped him around the waist.
“You were so young to be dealing with all of that,” she said, her voice muffled against his neck. “Twenty isn’t really grown-up. You had more life experiences than most kids your age, but I doubt you were any more emotionally mature. He’d hurt you for so many years. You just wanted to hurt him back.”
Her understanding loosened the tight band around his chest. He hugged her back. “Thank you,” he murmured.
“No problem. To be honest, I’d imagined something a lot worse.”
“Like what? Felony convictions in several states?”
She smiled. “Something like that.” She kissed his jaw. “I appreciate you sharing this with me. I just have one question. When are you going to let it go? You can’t stay angry at him forever. Yes, it hurts him and in a way you still want that, but it hurts you, too.”
Arizona straightened and pushed her away. “Thanks for the junior psychology analysis, but it’s not necessary.” Irritation battled with disappointment. He’d thought she would understand, but she didn’t.
“Why are you upset?” she asked. She slid away a couple of feet and stared at him. Her eyebrows drew together. “You wanted to talk about this. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have asked me to come over. You know me well enough by now to know I’m not going to keep quiet, that I’m going to express my opinion. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
She made sense and that really annoyed him. “Maybe I just wanted to get you into bed.”
He’d expected her to flinch. Instead she shook her head. “If that was true, you would have made your move before now. I’ve been here two hours and you’ve barely touched me.” She drew in a deep breath, then tucked her hair behind her ears. Her mouth straightened. “Hasn’t it occurred to you that the reason I can understand your situation with your father is that I’m facing something similar myself? You’re not the only one caught up in the past. You’re not the only one who is angry. You think I don’t feel the same way? It’s hard, Arizona. You want to reconcile with your father, but you don’t know if he’s suffered enough. I want to forgive my parents, and Billy, and even Aunt Charity, but the pain and anger are all I have. If I let that go, will I lose the last little bits of them and myself that I have?”
“You’re making sense,” he grumbled. “I really hate that.”
“It’s hard,” she told him. “I am so furious at my parents. I hate them for dying. I hate them for naming Aunt Charity as our guardian. Because of that Cassie and I got split up. I hate that they left me the house. I’m their daughter by birth and the house has been in the family for generations, but it was still wrong.” Anger flashed in her eyes. “People matter more than things and they should have recognized how their actions would hurt Cassie. She has always felt like an outsider. Her only goal in life is to belong. To find roots. That’s why she desperately wants the family legend about the nightgown to be true. So she can wear it on her birthday and dream about her fantasy man.”