Dream Wedding(59)

Arizona cupped her cheek. Chloe leaned into his touch. “I’ll never forgive Billy for dying after he promised he wouldn’t,” she continued. “I’m enraged at Aunt Charity for being gone. I know, she had her own life. No one expected her to stay home in case her brother died without warning. I know it, but I can’t make my heart believe it. I live with this pain and rage and so do you. But I’m starting to see that we have to figure out a way to let it go. We both hurt, Arizona. But if the wound stays open too long, it gets infected and then we die. I’m not talking about real death, but emotional death. Isn’t that worse? Is that more tragic?”

“I don’t know.”

He held his arms open and she came into them. They hugged each other. He’d felt close to her from the moment he’d met her. Their lovemaking had only cemented the strange bond he couldn’t explain. But that was nothing when compared to what he was feeling now. He’d never felt this connected to another person in his life. They came from completely different backgrounds. They believed different things. Chloe was a realist and he made his living searching for the mystical. Yet underneath, they were exactly alike.

“See,” she whispered, her breath coming in short puffs against his chest. “I’m a horrible person.”

“No, you’re a very honest one and I admire that.”

“Were you listening? I can’t believe it’s been eleven years and I’m still mad at my folks. I’ve got to learn to let that go.”

“Hey, it’s been more than thirty years and I still don’t like talking to my father. I’m much worse.”

“No, I am.”

He chuckled. “Interesting argument that for reasons I can’t explain I feel compelled to win. When I was ten and we were in Africa, I sneaked into the tribal elder’s tent and stole a pipe. I got all the other boys to smoke it with me and we all ended up sick.”

“Not bad. When I was ten, Cassie got a new dress for some reason, and I didn’t. I was so furious, I threatened to hold my breath until I got one, too. My mother wasn’t impressed. Unfortunately for her, I actually did hold it until I passed out. I really scared her. Once I learned the trick, I kept doing it for about six months. I thought she was going to kill me.”

He smiled and kissed the top of her head. “I stole an elephant.”

“Goodness. Where on earth would you hide it?”

“I didn’t. I took it for a joyride. Well, sort of. We didn’t go very fast.”

She laughed. “I convinced Cassie to surprise our parents by scenting their bedroom. I had her pour perfume on the bed and the carpet. The stink would not go away. They ended up getting a new mattress and carpeting.”

“I don’t know if I can top that one,” he told her.

Her laughter was soft and sweet. He liked this, he realized. Being with her, holding her, laughing together. He felt safe talking about his past. Even if Chloe didn’t agree, she wouldn’t judge him. She might speak her mind and say some things he didn’t want to hear, but that was a small price to pay for acceptance. Besides, he liked that she was honest.

“It’s good that we’re spending time with each other,” she said. “I doubt anyone else would want to put up with us.”

“You know that’s not true.”

She tilted her head back and looked at him. “You’re right, I do. But it’s fun to pretend.” Her humor faded. “I’m glad we talked about all of this. Our conversation has shown me that it’s time to let go of the past.”

“Are you ready?”

“I think so.” She pulled back and gave him a rueful smile. “I don’t mind forgiving my parents or Billy. It wasn’t really their fault they died. But not being mad at Aunt Charity is going to be harder. I didn’t get it until just a few moments ago when we started talking about all this, but I finally understand what’s been going on with her. By staying angry, I didn’t have to worry about her getting too close. If she died or left, I wouldn’t miss her. This has all been a way to protect myself from getting hurt.”

“I’m impressed,” he said, and tapped the tip of her nose. “That’s very insightful.”

“I don’t mind being insightful, but I really resent having to act on what I’ve discovered. Still, I’m a strong person and keeping her at arm’s length out of fear is the coward’s way out. I’m going to have to make peace with her and deal with the consequences.”

“I’m sure she’s going to live a long life and you won’t have to worry about losing her anytime soon.”