Do Not Forsake Me(65)

“I’m not going to believe it’s cancer unless some other doctor tells me it is. I just think, based on her symptoms, we should hope for the best but…prepare for the worst. And I think that for her sake, you should think only the best when you’re out there on the trail, Jake, because the last thing she needs is for you to get yourself hurt or killed because you didn’t have your mind on what you’re doing. You remember that no matter what this is, she’ll never get better or have the incentive to get better if something happens to you. She’s always been the strong one. Now you have to be strong—for her. You need to go back in there and let her wake up with you by her side. She needs you just as much as you need her. I’ve seen how she is when you’re away, scared to death you won’t come back.”

Jake put his head in his hands. “What should I tell her?”

“Just what I said—that I want her to see Dr. Rogers and that she might have cysts on her ovaries that will need to be removed, but that’s nothing terribly serious. Don’t mention cancer.”

“She’s not stupid, Brian. And nobody knows me better than Randy. She’ll see right through me.”

“Then you’re going to have to do your best to encourage her to think positively and be supportive. That’s all you can do.”

The faint sound of piano music coming from a saloon floated over the otherwise quiet night air.

“Do you hear that music, Brian?”

“I hear it.”

“Music like that—saloons, drinking, painted women, gunplay, fistfights—all those things once represented who I was…until a slip of a woman named Miranda Hayes barged into my life. That’s all it took to make me want to change it all. I never knew what love meant till I met her.”

“And you should be glad you had twenty-six years of that love.” Brian sighed, getting up from the steps. “I’d better get back to Evie. She’s probably really worried. Promise me you’ll go back inside. Just hold her the rest of the night, Jake. That’s what she needs right now.”

Jake grasped a railing and stood up. “Are you going to tell Evie?”

“I’m just going to tell her I want Randy to see another doctor before we jump to any conclusions. Randy will likely wake up in the morning feeling fine because of the medicine I gave her. Take this a day at a time and be grateful for the good days.”

Jake turned away. “Yeah. Sure.”

“Jake. I’ll give you something to help you think more positive.”

Jake turned. “What’s that?”

“Evie is expecting again. We’re going to have another baby, which means another grandchild for you and Randy. Try taking that as a good sign that things will be all right. And tell Randy. That will really brighten her day.”

Jake managed a smile. “That’s damn good news. You tell Evie I just hope this one doesn’t run her ragged the way Little Jake does.”

“Well, we’re both hoping for that.”

Jake put out his hand. “If it had been up to me, I couldn’t have picked a better husband for my daughter.”

Brian grasped his hand. “I suppose I could have picked a saner family to marry into, but being married to Evie makes it all worth it. She’s one thing you did completely right, Jake. And she still needs her father. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”

Jake squeezed his hand. “I understand.”

Brian let go of his hand. “Go on back inside and hold your wife.” He gave Jake a shove. “And once she’s awake, do whatever else you want to do with her. You won’t hurt her.”

Jake smiled sadly and watched Brian walk off. He went back inside and locked the back door, forcing himself to shake off the darkness that enveloped him. His hands moved into fists. Don’t you let her die, he prayed angrily.

He walked into the bedroom and watched her for a moment, thinking how beautiful she looked with her honey-blond hair spread out on the pillow. He removed his shirt and pants and wiped the bottoms of his feet on a braided rug before easing into bed beside her. He moved an arm around her, and in her sleepy state, she curled against him. He quietly wept.





Seventeen


Randy stirred, feeling a bit groggy. It took her a moment to realize someone had undressed her and she wore only her flannel gown. Jake’s arms were around her, and she lay with her back against him. From the slant of the light coming in from the window, she realized it was morning. “Jake?”

He pulled her closer. “I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever wake up.” He kissed her behind the ear.

“My gosh. Did you undress me?”