Do Not Forsake Me(64)

“Slugs do a hell of a lot more damage if there is any distance involved,” Jake answered, “and since I never miss, I don’t need buckshot.”

Brian rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sure you don’t.”

Jake slammed the shotgun closed. “What’s the verdict?”

“Set that shotgun down and look at me, Jake.”

Jake hesitated, then laid the gun on the table, meeting Brian’s eyes.

“I love her like my own mother, Jake. You know that.”

“Talk to me like a doctor right now, Brian, not a son-in-law.”

Brian turned away. “Shit.”

Jake felt as though he might pass out. “Just say it, Brian.”

Brian didn’t answer right away.

“Jesus,” Jake whispered. He got up and took a cigarette from where he kept some in a cupboard. He lit it and walked out the back door.

Brian followed him out to the back steps. He waited a moment, giving Jake time to calm down.

“Brian,” Jake finally spoke up, standing with his back to his son-in-law. “Before I met Randy, I lived for a while with a prostitute who was…good to me. One day she came down with pains like what Randy is feeling. It ended up being…” He ran a hand through his hair. “Jesus,” he muttered.

“Jake, are you saying it was cancer?”

“Yes!” Jake barked, turning to face him. “And it was the most goddamned awful death I ever watched! She was a good woman, and she didn’t deserve to die that way! There is no way in hell I could stand back and watch my Randy die that way! I’d rather shoot her first, and then myself!” He turned away again.

“Jake, you keep in mind that it could very well not be cancer. You are absolutely jumping to conclusions. She could have something on her ovaries, but that doesn’t mean it’s the worst.”

Jake smoked quietly. “Being…intimate…would that hurt her?”

Brian sat down beside him on the steps. “No, it wouldn’t make any difference. And if you’re looking for some way to blame this on yourself, which you have a bad habit of doing—you had nothing to do with this one, Jake. It is what it is. Though like I said, she needs to be examined by someone who knows more about such things. I understand why you’re concerned, but you have to be positive about this.”

Jake walked a few feet away again. “What the hell do I do now? I have to go out there and look for Marty Bryant and serve death certificates on Jessie Buckley. I have orders. I’ll have to follow those orders or risk going back to prison. Lloyd could do all that for me, but with Marty on the loose, I’m not going to let him go out there alone. How in hell do I leave my wife at a time like this?”

“Jake, what you do is the main reason your wife put off telling you about the pain. She hates for you to be distracted. So you have to think positive now. You can’t consider ignoring your job, because the last thing she needs is for that judge to change his mind and put you back in prison. We won’t get answers overnight anyway. I assure you that nothing dire is going to happen in the next week or two.”

Jake smoked quietly, staring into the darkness.

“Jake, are you listening to me?”

“You’re just telling me what you think I want to hear.”

“I’m telling you straight. You’re one man I wouldn’t lie to, Jake. I love that woman too, and I’m going to think positive about this.”

Jake stepped out the cigarette and came back to sit down on the steps. He said nothing for several quiet minutes. Brian could tell he was struggling not to break down.

He finally spoke up. “I can’t live without that woman, Brian, and I can’t see her in pain.”

Brian sighed, wanting to weep. “Jake, if worse comes to worst, I can give Randy medicine for the pain—something to help her go peacefully. But if anything happens to both of you, it will kill Evie. My wife would never be the same, and I don’t intend to lose her that way. She’s a beautiful soul and she worships the ground you walk on, so don’t talk about not being able to go on without Randy. Don’t you dare do that to Evie. Randy wouldn’t want that either. And as able and adept as Lloyd is now, he still needs you too. Little Jake is crazy about you, and Stephen thinks you’re a hero. You have no right leaving the beautiful family that you have, so you get those thoughts out of your head. We’re all here for you and for Randy. I’m a doctor. I will not let her die a horrible death. Trust me on that.”

Jake cleared his throat, then swallowed. Brian ached for the man’s sorrow.

“Which means you do think she could be dying,” Jake said brokenly.