Dear Ava(38)

Leaning over me, he hitches one of my legs over his shoulder and gains momentum, his voice in my ear, dark and husky. “I want to know everything about you. What you eat, except for tomatoes, God, I hate those, what you dream about, what songs you listen to, what makes you laugh, what makes you happy, how you feel when I fuck you. I want you breathing for me. I want you begging me for more of this. I want you kissing me, just me. I want you, Tulip, you, you, you, you…”

His finger circles my clit in tandem as he takes me, and I writhe underneath him. He does it so well, so good until I can’t breathe, until I’m thrashing as I clutch his ass and dig my nails in. “Tulip…” he grunts. “I’m close. Come with me.”

He moves faster, faster, his cock thickening even more and I call out his name, undulating under him. He cups my face and goes over with me, his breath hard and unsteady as he kisses me with our eyes open. Emotion claws at my heart as my body pulses around him in the aftershocks.

I want you kissing me, just me.

God. His words.

I’m falling so hard, dancing near the edge of the vastness that’s him.

And I know there’s barely any trust left in me for guys, but for him…

I want this. Whatever it is.





17





Coiled and tense, I’m waiting for her in the parking lot. Okay, what’s the etiquette for seeing a girl after you’ve had sex with her? I mean, I know what happens after the usual girls, but she’s…her.

Her Jeep parks a few spaces over from mine and I jog over. She gets out of the car, bends over to grab her backpack, and turns to face me.

My heart skips. Fucking skips.

Last night.

Well.

It’s all I can think about and I’m ignoring those voices in my head, the ones that tell me to tread carefully, to go slow.

I just…

Want her.

I shove down niggling warnings that prick at me, reminding me that I have other commitments. Football. Dane.

One day at a time.

That’s what I’ve been telling myself since I walked out of her dorm last night.

For now, she’s here and I’m here and I refuse to go one more day with this need for her unmet.

She slings her backpack up and over her shoulder. There’s a hesitant look in her eyes.

“Sleep well?” I ask, fidgeting as we take off for the entrance of Camden.

A slow blush rises up her cheeks. Her head dips, a vulnerable expression flitting over her face. “Yeah. You?”

My head goes back to last night, when I had her under me, all the things I told her, about my mom, admitting I was SA. I didn’t leave her dorm until nearly midnight, and walking away from her in that bed was hard.

She smiles, her lips curving up, lush and pink. “Hello. Earth to Knox.”

“Great.”

I slept like crap. Once I got home—with a mewling cat in my arms—Dad was sitting in the kitchen, demanding to know where I’d been. I paused, getting Astley settled with some sandwich meat from the fridge and a water bowl as I contemplated my answer. Truth is best.

“I was with Ava. I’m with her,” I told him finally. Damn, it felt good to get it off my chest, to finally tell him I want her, I want her next to me, I want her so fucking bad that no one even matters—

With his wide eyes searching my face, he interrupted my thoughts. “Knox, son, that girl is trouble for your brother. He can’t get over what happened to her, and just maybe, there’s a reason—”

“You don’t get to tell me who I see,” I snapped back and then stomped up the stairs.

“Your brother still isn’t home,” he called at my back, and I stopped in my tracks.

I came back in the kitchen and we sat on the barstools. After a few texts, I figured out he was at Liam’s. Dad and I both went to bed exhausted.

I finally got to sleep, then Dane woke me up around three, crawling in on the other side of my bed, eyes hollow and empty. I watched him get under the covers and turn over to face the wall, his shoulders shuddering.

Was he crying?

Why didn’t he spend the night at Liam’s?

When six o’clock rolled around, I couldn’t sleep, so I got up and ran for two miles, then came back, showered, and let Suzy fix me breakfast while Dad got ready for an early flight to New York. I went through the motions automatically, my head on Ava. Wondering if she was eating something. Wondering if her lips were as swollen as mine.

I come back to the present when she nudges me.

“How are we going to do this?” she asks as we get to the front doors.

I don’t have to ask what she means. I see the tension on her face as I open the door, and she glides through, her finger plucking nervously at her skirt. I take it and clasp it in mine. She’s not sure what we are, and neither am I, yet here we are.

She bites her lip, eyes darting around at the students in the foyer.

“They’ll fall in line.” Or I’ll eviscerate them.

I don’t see any of the other guys. Dane said he’d ride with Liam this morning, and they’re going to be late considering Dane was barely awake when I left.

Eyes are on us as we walk to her locker. Brandon walks past us, his mouth swollen and cracked from where I hit him. His steps falter when he sees me next to her, and I feel her stiffen.

I smile/snarl—whatever you want to call what my lips do.

With a huff, he pales and moves on.

Ava fidgets. “Knox, I-I don’t want your team to—”

“Please, trust me. Just keep walking to your locker,” I tell her.

She nods and when we get there, she undoes her lock, grabbing her textbooks. She turns around, and I tilt her face up, kissing her long and deep. Her backpack falls to the floor, her arms curling up around my neck. Jesus. God. Krishna. Whatever. I want to drown in her. I want to eat her slowly then fast—

“Get a room, locker neighbor.” It’s Wyatt and his laconic accent that pulls us apart. He’s smirking. “Prank night must have ended well.” His eyes focus on me. “If you hurt her, I’ll make you regret it, Shark.”

“What’s going on?” Piper says, sliding up next to us. Her eyes widen when she takes in my hand around Ava’s hip. “Um, did I miss something? Was there a comet last night that altered everyone’s brain? No? Maybe someone had a lobotomy? Still no? Huh. Then someone please tell me why a Shark is looking at Ava like she’s a slice of pie?”

“Just Knox making a statement,” Ava murmurs and glances at me. “Try to rein it in for class, ’kay? I don’t want to be sitting in Mr. Trask’s office explaining the PDA.”

Piper frowns then turns to Ava. “Don’t we hate him?”

“Apparently not,” Wyatt drawls, tossing an arm around Piper. “They were making out like gangbusters before you walked up. Putting on quite a show.”

“We weren’t making out,” Ava says.

“Pretty much,” I say.

She rolls her eyes. “Let’s go to class.”

Chance walks down the hall, Brooklyn next to him, and I pause. Nothing like ripping the bandage off right now.

“You go on to class. I’ve got something to do.”

She looks past me, following my gaze, and gives me a nod as she and Piper take off, their heads tilted together. I can only imagine what Piper’s asking.

I walk over to Chance, who hasn’t seen me yet.

“Hey,” I say to him, nerves kicking in. How am I going to do this? Oh, by the way, last year when you were seeing Ava, I wanted her, and now I’ve had her and don’t think I’ll ever let her go?

I glance at Brooklyn. “Can you give us a moment?”

“What’s up?” Chance says as she heads to class. “You ready for the game tomorrow? Anxious? I heard a scout from Auburn is coming.”

So did I. I’ve kept thoughts of it locked away and will focus on it when I need to.

I study him. “I’m with Ava.”

He pauses, and a long sigh comes from him. “With her?”

“She’s mine.”

Shoving a hand through his hair, he glares at me as his nose flares. “You’re my best friend. You know I still care about her, and when you want a girl, you just take her and then it’s over. Is that what you’re telling me? You want to screw my ex?” His face tightens. “Or have you already?”

Not answering that.

His hands tighten around his books.

“Are you angry?” I expect him to be, but I don’t want to lose him…

“Yes.” His teeth clench. “How do I know you didn’t hurt her at the kegger?”

“How do I know it wasn’t you?” I reply sharply. Part of me knows he’s not like that, and that’s what I’ve been telling myself for months, but…

His fists clench. “Because I loved her, and it pisses me off for you to even think that!”

I exhale, trying to shake off the anger I feel toward him. “You had your opportunity, Chance. You have Brooklyn. Ava is mine.”

He shakes his head, a knowing glint in his eye. “No, she isn’t. You may think so, but that girl is nobody’s. She belongs to herself. She’s different from everyone else here. You can’t own her like your dad owns this town—”

“Do you know how she grew up? She used to live under a bridge. Her mom was an addict and dumped Ava with a newborn baby. Tyler’s like her kid. Do you know her? Really?”