Country Roads(116)

He heaved again, although nothing came up.

If he thought about it rationally, he knew Darkside had behaved like any normal horse when startled. The stallion had jerked sideways, and Julia, being an inexperienced rider, hadn’t been prepared. She had simply fallen off and the fence had been in the way.

He moaned as the image repeated itself in his mind. At least he didn’t retch again. Straightening, he swung open the passenger door and grabbed the bottle of water he always carried, rinsing and spitting to clear the nasty taste from his mouth.

His stomach lurched, so he closed the door and leaned against it with the cool bottle pressed against his aching forehead.

This whole situation was his fault; he had indulged himself in an affair with a woman he knew would leave him in her dust. He would nurse a memory so brilliant and vivid, no other woman would ever be able to measure up. But he could live with that. Welcomed it even, knowing how badly he’d screwed up.

What had kept him tossing all night was the expression on Julia’s face when he’d told her he didn’t want her here. How he had found the strength of will to force those words out of his mouth he would never understand. When he saw the terrible hurt in her green eyes, he’d nearly told her the truth: that he wanted to lock his arms around her and keep her with him in Sanctuary forever. Instead he had taken her brave, honest declaration of love, thrown it on the ground, and ground it into the dirt with his heel.

Another image shimmered through his brain. His Julia looking so tiny atop the massive black horse, her hair flaming in the sunshine, her face lit with excitement as she said, “I just learned to post.” The moment was burned into his memory along with the emotions roiling inside his chest: awe, fear, and a love that took his breath away. Julia took his breath away: her courage, her passion, her generosity. God, she was magnificent.

And he had to let her go.

His gut clenched so hard, he dropped the water bottle and doubled over. He stayed that way until the wave of overwhelming pain passed. Then, feeling like an old man, he bent down gingerly to retrieve the plastic bottle.

Pulling in several long breaths, Paul got his stomach under control. He glanced at his watch and realized he was going to be late arriving at Jimmy’s house. His brother had asked him to come by for some unspecified reason. The timing stank big-time, since Jimmy was the reason he was in this pain. No, that wasn’t fair to his brother; Paul knew what his responsibilities were. He had just chosen to push them to the back of his mind until he had to face the consequences.

Right now he wanted to get on his Harley and ride until he drove into the Pacific Ocean. Oh yeah, he couldn’t do that because he’d donated his hog to the charity gala.

Today was truly the day from hell. And it wasn’t going to improve at Jimmy’s.

He shoved himself away from the car and walked around to the driver’s door, swinging it open and levering himself inside. Taking the mountain curves too fast was the only outlet he could allow himself, but he was still half an hour late pulling up at Jimmy’s door.

“Sorry I’m late, Jim,” Paul said, as his brother opened the front door. Light from the low-hanging late afternoon sun illuminated the trim, and Paul noticed it had been freshly painted.

“No problem, bro,” Jimmy said, waving Paul in. “Want some iced tea?”

What he wanted was an entire bottle of Scotch, but if Jimmy had one, he wouldn’t confess to it. “Sure.”

As his brother collected glasses from a cabinet and a filled pitcher from the refrigerator, Paul realized Jimmy’s hair was newly trimmed. He glanced around the room with startled attention. No dirty dishes moldered in the sink. The stove top was scrubbed clean.

“Is Eric coming over later?” Paul asked.

Jimmy looked up from pouring the tea. “No, he’s at Terri’s. Why?” “Just wondered.”

“He’s got a half day of school tomorrow, so we’re heading out to the state forest tomorrow at lunchtime for our camping trip.” Jimmy’s blue eyes blazed with anticipation.

“You taking any Doritos?”

Jimmy laughed as he handed Paul his glass. “I’m strictly enforcing the no-food-in-the-tent rule. I got no interest in meeting a skunk in my skivvies.”

“Good move,” Paul said, following his brother into the living room.

“Have a seat,” Jimmy said, waving Paul to the couch while he sat on the edge of the recliner. He scooted a coaster over to the corner of the coffee table and set his glass on it.

Paul sank onto the burgundy cushions and wondered what the hell was going on. His brother had never used a coaster before in his life. He’d also never walked into the living room without turning on the television.