Country Roads(112)
Claire stood and walked over to the painting, stopping a few feet away. She stood silent for several moments, and Julia could see the connoisseur in her stance and focus. “I see it now. You’ve layered the anger over the vulnerability. He’s using the anger but not defined by it. There’s a yearning underneath.” Claire turned back to Julia. “He wants to be loved, like all of us.”
Julia felt her defenses disintegrate into dust. She dropped her head into her hands as a sob racked her body.
“I’m so sorry.” Claire sat down beside her and drew her into a hug.
Julia leaned against her friend. “I feel like an idiot.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ve known Paul for all of ten days, and I feel this horrible about leaving him.”
“Don’t leave him then.”
Julia lifted her head to see something like hope flit across Claire’s face. “I’m trying. He’s not cooperating.”
“That’s interesting, because Paul once commented that Tim couldn’t force me to leave Sanctuary.”
“Tim tried?” Julia pulled away from Claire and used the corner of her smock to wipe her nose.
“He had what he thought were good reasons.”
“So does Paul. He’s just wrong.”
Claire laughed and covered Julia’s hands with hers. “You’re exactly what Paul needs. You remind him of the person he used to be. I hope you won’t give up.”
Julia thought of Paul turning away as she told him she loved him. Her shoulders sagged. “I’m running out of ammunition.”
“Then you need to reload. Go see your whisper horse. That’s what I did when Tim got difficult.”
“It’s hard to picture your husband as anything other than madly in love with you,” Julia said, thinking back to the dinner party where she’d envied the way they looked at each other across the table.
“Oh, he was madly in love with me back then.” Claire stood. “He just couldn’t handle it.”
Claire had driven her back to the inn, and after one glance in the car’s rearview mirror, Julia had been glad she did. It had taken over an hour, but she was finally free of paint and her hair waved in a smooth, civilized fashion. Now she prowled around the table where her cell phone sat, also cleaned up after its sojourn in the trash.
Did she have the courage to invite Paul to see her ride Darkside?
It was the last way she could think of to shock him into believing she could handle herself and her life.
But could she? Exhaustion and despair surrounded her like a fog, not the best condition in which to deal with a high-strung horse. Being rejected again might just destroy her.
Deciding she didn’t want to feel like this any longer, she swiped at the phone, barely catching it as it spun off the table. Punching the speed dial for his office, she indulged in a moment of cowardice.
“Hi, Verna, it’s Julia Castillo. Do you know what time Paul will be finished with work today?”
“He’s running ’em through quick, mostly likely because he’s surly as a bear. I’d say he’ll be done around three thirty.”
“Would you ask him to meet me then at Healing Springs Stables? Tell him it’s important.”
“He should be done with his appointment in about ten minutes. You want to ask him yourself?”
“No, no, I can’t. I’m, er, going to be in a meeting the rest of the day.” Julia smacked herself on the forehead for not thinking of a better excuse. What she intended to do was take a long nap.
“I guess there’s a reason for his bad attitude,” Verna said. “I’ll make sure he gets to the stable. Don’t you worry about that, hon.”
Paul complained about everyone in a small town knowing your business, but Julia liked having allies.
“You want to ride outdoors without me even being in the paddock with you?” Sharon bent her head and rubbed her hand across the back of her neck as she considered Julia’s request. “That’s mighty risky.”
“Paul’s coming to watch,” Julia said.
Sharon’s head came up. “You tryin’ to prove something?”
Julia nodded.
“Well, Taggart will probably rip me a new one, but I guess I understand a thing or two about proving yourself.” She glanced at her watch before she turned and headed toward the tack room. “We got about forty minutes before he’s due. Let’s get the kinks worked out of Darkside before then. He’s in his usual paddock. You go tell him what’s up while I get the tack.”
Julia peeled off for the paddock. She loved that Sharon expected her to explain what she needed to the horse. They both believed Darkside would help her out if he understood.