Complicate Me(36)

“I know.”

“No, you don’t. Or else you would let me call them,” she justified, folding one arm over the other on her chest.

“It’s pointless. It’s done.”

“If you say so. Have you talked to Alex?”

“You know I haven’t.”

She wearingly smiled. “She’ll come around.”

“I don’t know about that one.”

She caressed the side of my face. “Honey, all of this is hard for her, too. You are both so young and I hate to say this, but it might be better like this. At least for a little while.”

I pulled away from her hand. “Why does everyone keep saying that?”

“Lucas,” she warned, hostility evident in her tone.

“I’m serious. I’m not a kid anymore.”

She narrowed her eyes at me.

“Alright.” I nodded. “I’m still stupid, but I’m not a kid. I’ll be eighteen in a few weeks and she’ll be sixteen. Don’t you think we’re old enough to choose what’s right for us?”

She adamantly shook her head. “No. I don’t. I’m sorry, Lucas.”

I bowed my head, defeated. She gripped my chin with her thumb and index fingers making me look at her.

“You have so much more life to live. This is your last year of high school. Alex still has two more years after you’re done. Do you think it would be fair to her for you to start something and then leave? Do you think it’s fair that either of you would have to base your decisions on one another? You should be able to do whatever you want before you settle down, with anyone,” she added, causing me to flinch.

“I have nothing against Alex. I love her like she was my own. If you two end up together, then I would be the happiest mom in the world. I just want you to be sure. Both of us do.”

I knew she spoke about Alex’s mom. I didn’t have to ask whom she referred to.

“Trust me. Resentment can ruin the strongest relationships and I would hate for that to happen to the two of you just because you jumped into something so young before either of you got to experience all of what life has to offer. Do you understand?”

No.

But I nodded anyway.

I sensed she knew I lied, so I gave her a half-ass smile in hopes the conversation would be over. Lily walked into the room, announcing that she was hungry. Mom got off the couch to go make us some lunch and I closed my eyes.

Lily slapped me on the chest.

“Ow!” I opened my eyes, placing my hand on the spot she hit. “What was that for?”

“You’re an idiot,” she simply stated.

“Why?”

“You know why…”

I cocked my head to the side. “Can you stop speaking in code? I obviously don’t.”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I know you love her and I know she loves you, too.”

I sat there dumbfounded, staring at my eleven-year-old baby sister. For the first time she appeared much older than she truly was, instantly reminding me of Alex at her age.

“Lily, you’re too wise for your years.”

She proudly smiled. “Duh.”

I laughed.

“I don’t like Cole. He looks too much like Ken and I’m pretty sure Ken’s gay. Alex doesn’t really look like Barbie. She needs someone that looks like G.I. Joe. You kinda look like him, so that matches better.”

And out goes the older theory.

“That made absolutely no sense.”

She punched me again.

“Stop hitting me!”

“Then you shouldn’t have taught me to hit.”

“Oh my God, Lily, you need to go away. You remind me too much of Alex and I really can’t think about her right now.”

“That’s because you’re a dumb boy. If you would just tell her you loved her and wanted to be with her then… voilà,” she exclaimed with her hands out in the air. “Problem fixed.”

“There’s way more to it than that, kid.”

“Nah uh. Love is easy. It’s you that’s making it hard.”

There were times like these where I wished I had her optimism. She had always been like that. Ever since I could remember, my baby sister looked at the glass half full, rather than half empty.

“One day I’m going to fall in love and he’s going to love me fearlessly. He’s going to protect me and fight for me. He won’t care about what anyone thinks, because he’s not a dummy like you are. We’re going to be happy because all you need is love. You should really learn that, Lucas.” She shrugged. “Just sayin’.”

I chuckled. “I really hope that, Lily, if he’s not then I’m going to kick his fucking ass.”

Her eyes widened and she giggled with her hand over her mouth at my crass words.

“Now, go away. I want to take a nap.”

She obliged and kissed my forehead.

I closed my eyes and tried to let slumber take me over.

When it did.

I dreamed of her.





It had been three weeks since Lucas’s accident and I still hadn’t said a word to him. I knew how he was because Lily kept me updated. School started in a few short weeks, so I drowned myself in work and told my parents to give me extra shifts at the restaurant. Cole came by every day. He surfed, ate lunch and often waited till my shift was over just to be able to talk to me for a few minutes before I went home.

I was still pissed at him but each day it became less and less, toward both of them.

“There’s a new movie playing at the theater,” Cole commented while I cleaned up his table.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I thought maybe you’d want to go watch it with me? What do you say?”

“I’m kinda tired, Cole. My feet are killing me, and all I really want to do is take a bath and watch TV.”

He nodded, understanding. “I could go rent a movie and we could watch it, together.”

I peered up at him through my lashes. He had one of those grins again, the one with his dimples smugly on display.

“You’re never going to give up, are you?” I teasingly asked.

“Not in my nature.”

“I don’t know, Cole.”

“It’s just a movie. I’ll sit on another couch, you won’t even have to touch me, look at me, or talk to me.”

I laughed. “Then what’s the point?”

“To be near you.”

I laughed again. “Still saying all the right things, I see.”

“You got me on one of my good days.”

I cocked my head to the side and placed my hand on my hip. “Do you ever have a bad one?”

“Everyday these last three weeks has been a bad day.”

I instinctively stepped back, putting some space between us. “I just don’t think I’m ready for all that. I’m sorry.”

“I deserve it. I leave in two weeks, and I’d love to spend more time with you before I go.”

“You’ll be back,” I reasoned.

“I will, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to see you before I go.”

“Maybe,” I breathed out, not giving in but not declining either. “Okay?”

He nodded as he stood. I think he wanted to leave before I changed my mind.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said.

I watched him leave and then made my way toward the boys and Aubrey.

“Anything else before I clock out?” I asked them.

“You look tired, Half-Pint,” Jacob noticed. He was never one to hold back what he thought.

“I am tired. It’s been a long day.”

“Is that the only reason?” Dylan chimed in and my eyes immediately shifted to Aubrey. Who looked as nervous as I appeared.

“Would there be another one?” I challenged, needing to hear his response to my question.

“You talk to Lucas?” Austin asked, bringing my attention to him.

“No.”

His eyebrows lowered in a curious yet serious manner while he glanced at the boys before saying, “Maybe you should.”

I didn’t falter. “How’s he doing?”

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know,” Jacob accused only staring at me.

I placed my hand on my hip, leaning all my weight into it. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You tell us,” Dylan countered.

“Boys!” Aubrey scolded, but none of them turned to look at her. Their intense glares placed on me. I felt like I was on trial or something. Every move I made or anything I said would receive an objection.

“Stop ganging up on her,” Aubrey yelled out, sticking up for me. But even I didn’t back down from their glares.

“Mind your business, baby,” Dylan ordered in a husky tone I’d never heard before.

“We’ve given you weeks, Half-Pint, and you haven’t said a word. Is there anything you need to tell us? Or do we need to keeping assuming?” Dylan proclaimed.

“You know what they say about people who assume,” I sassed, and I could feel Aubrey smiling behind me. It gave me the courage I needed to keep going and for some reason, I felt she knew that.

Jacob stood first and the rest followed, their large frames towering over my small one.

“Get your shit together. Ya hear me?” Jacob insinuated something that I couldn’t place my finger on, but his tone left me contemplating what he really meant.

I nodded even though I didn’t understand. “Loud and clear.”