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Complicate Me

By:M. Robinson
Boss man. My husband. Best friend.

Thank you for always supporting me in everything I do. I love you.

Dad: Thank you for always showing me what hard work is and what it can accomplish. For always telling me that I can do anything I put my mind to.

Mom: Thank you for ALWAYS being there for me no matter what. You are my best friend.

Julissa Rios: I love you and I am proud of you. Thank you for being a pain in my ass and for being my sister. I know you are always there for me when I need you.

Ysabelle & Gianna: Love you my babies.

Rebecca Marie: THANK YOU for an AMAZING cover. I wouldn’t know what to do without you and your fabulous creativity.

Heather Moss: Thank you for everything that you do!! XO

Silla Webb: Thank you so much for your edits and formatting! I love it and you!

Michelle Tan: Best beta ever! Jen Dirty Girl: I love your voice! And you. Tammy McGowan: Thank you for all your support and boo boo’s you find! You love to give me heart attacks. Michele Henderson McMullen: LOVE LOVE LOVE you!! Dee Montoya: We’re are some sexy bitches. Just saying… Roxie Madar: Thank you for your honesty and your friendship. Jessica Winstead: You’re amazing!! Thank you! Rebeka Christine Perales: You always make me smile. Adrian Culbreth Perkins: Your feedback means so much to me!! Mary Jo Toth: Your boo-boos are always great! Argie Sokoli: Thank you for coming in like a boss and getting it done! Ella Gram: You’re such a sweet and amazing person! Thank you for your kindness. Michelle Kubik Follis: You always make me laugh!! Kimmie Kim: Your friendship means everything to me. Tricia Bartley: Your comments and voice always make me smile!! Isabel Montes: Thank you so much for helping me find a title for this book! I appreciate it so much!

To all my author buddies: T.M. Frazier: I love you, you Ginger. Jettie Woodruff: You’re my sister from another mister. K. Webster: I love your face! Stevie J. Cole: You’re a whore. The end.

The C.O.P.A Cabana Girls: I love you!!

To all the blogs A HUGE THANK YOU for all the love and support you have shown me. I have made some amazing friendships with you that I hold dear to my heart. I know that without you I would be nothing!! I cannot THANK YOU enough!! Special thanks to Totally Booked for sharing my exclusive prologue reveal and Like A Boss Book Promotions for hosting my tours!

Last, but most definitely not least, to my VIP GROUP. Oh my God ladies…words cannot describe how much I love and appreciate every last one of you. The friendships and relationships that I have made with you are one of the best things that have ever happened to me. I wish I could name each one of you but it would take forever, just please know that you hold a very special place in my heart. You VIPs make my day, every single day. THANK YOU!!!

“You look beautiful, Alex,” Lucas whispered from behind me, his voice broken and torn. The errors of his ways finally catching up with him, it was evident in his tone. It pained me to hear him sound like that, no longer the carefree boy I grew up with.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” I replied, trying to keep my own voice from breaking. The physical ache surrounding and consuming me in ways I never thought possible. The gravitational pull we had toward each other wreaking havoc on our souls.

This wasn’t supposed to be this hard. Today was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life. I should be celebrating, not wallowing in the memories that I hold so deeply in my heart and soul. I hadn’t seen him all night and then he just appeared out of nowhere.

I blinked and he was there.

I felt him from across the room before I even found his stare. I didn’t think he would show up, I should have known better. He always did what he wanted, since we were kids there was no telling him what to do. It’s one of the things I hated the most about him.

“I’m not,” he simply stated, the fervor of his voice radiating from behind me and burning a hole in my back.

“Are you happy?” he added.

I closed my eyes as a single tear fell down the side of my face. I had spent endless nights crying over him.

Over us.

“I just want you to be happy, Half-Pint.” He hadn’t called me that in years. Not since we were kids.

“Are you happy, Bo?” I countered, throwing his question and nickname back at him, knowing it would have the same effect as it had on me.

“Only you would be standing out on the sand in a dress like that,” he brushed me off, changing the subject.

“I was never afraid to get dirty,” I reminded him, digging my feet into the sand and dragging my dress along with it.

“Always trying to be like one of the boys. What are you doing out here on the beach? You looked so happy until you saw me. What took away your happiness?”

I scoffed. “Do you even have to ask me that? Does it make it easier for you? To be here? To see me like this? Is that why you’re here?”

“It’s never been easy,” he softly spoke.

“What did you expect from me? What did you want me to do, Lucas?”

“You know what I wanted. You’ve known since we were kids and I carried you around on the handlebars of my bike. It hasn’t changed, it never changes between us. You know that as much as I do.”

I wrapped my arms around my torso in a comforting gesture, it didn’t help. Nothing was more comforting than his arms around me.

“Why didn’t you use the abandoned house, Alex?” he quickly followed.

I hated that he knew so much about me, our childhood entwined together like the weaving of a tight rope. Our names being synonyms of each other, there was no Half-Pint without Bo. Except now we weren’t kids, we were just Alex and Lucas.

“You know why,” I softly hinted, my voice catching in the wind and the waves of the ocean.

It was a soothing calm to the chaos all around me, everywhere he went he brought his hurricane with him. He was always the eye of the storm. When we were kids I loved it, I wanted to be pulled into his winds and let him take me wherever he wanted to go. I'd follow him anywhere. But as we got older I realized it was too late for me to seek refuge. He was already my destruction and there was no way to get past the heavy gusts of our complicated love.

“Tell me anyway.”

I shook my head. That was Lucas, true to his nature, wanting what he wanted when he wanted it. “It’s ours,” I admitted, giving in to what he needed to hear from me. I could never lie to him.

“Damn, you look so beautiful. So damn beautiful,” he murmured into my ear, engulfing me with his scent. I couldn’t move if I wanted to and he didn’t falter. “I know, Alex, I have to live with the fact that I messed up. I lost you.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“You’re lying, Half-Pint. I know you, so stop pretending like I don’t. Do you love him?”

I took in a deep reassuring breath and nodded, not being able to say the words.

“More than me?”

“That’s not fair,” I argued, trying to control the emotions that were threatening to take over by hugging myself harder.

“I never said life was fair.” He brushed my hair to the side of my neck and softly kissed my bare shoulder. I tried not to shudder from the feel of his lips on me.

“You should get back in there, Alex.”

“I know.”

“You know I can’t go in there before you. I can’t walk away from you again. I’ve done that too many times and it nearly killed me the last time.”

“And what makes you think that I can, Lucas? What makes you think that it’s any different for me?”

He turned me to face him and his hand immediately grazed my cheek, gently easing my chin up to look at him. There it was…

Our connection.

Along with all our stolen moments placed in between us.

Then came a cold, distant allure in his eyes when he said…

“I wasn’t the one that said ‘Yes.’”

I love her.

I debated for weeks on whether to attend her engagement party or not. I looked at the invitation so many damn times I had memorized every word.

I sat in my truck for hours, debating on going inside or driving back home. It was near 10 PM when I finally managed to pull myself together enough to walk through the doors and into her future.

A future that didn’t include me.

At least not in the way that I had once hoped it would. We would always be best friends though, over the last few years our conversations and interactions became less frequent, shorter and almost non-existent. I knew every time she looked at me that I had broken her heart. I had hurt her in the worst ways possible and I had to live with knowing I did that. My hand was firmly placed in my pocket, holding the necklace that I had bought her after our first kiss. She wore it for years, until one day she didn’t.

It produced a false illusion that she was still mine.

The second I walked inside I saw her. I stopped dead in my tracks just to take her in, she was a vision. There was no beauty in this world like Alex. She was wrapped around her fiancé, his hands firmly locked in place on the woman that belonged to me. I claimed her a long time ago. She looked breathtaking, smiling at everyone with her long brown hair framing her mousy face and her big brown eyes that always made my heart skip a beat. She wore a long white dress that hung loosely on her body, always a tomboy at heart but still managing to make it look sexy. I remembered a time when she hated dresses, fighting with her mom because she kept buying them for her.