Careless(14)

Once he gains control over his emotions, he whispers, “I’m sorry, Doc.”

“It’s normal to react emotionally when given good news relating to a loved one.”

He pulls back but doesn’t let go of me. His eyes find mine, and I try to ignore the longing I see in them.

“I’m sorry, Doc,” he repeats. “I’m sorry that I walked away.”

I wiggle myself free from his arms and take a step away from him.

“I’ll arrange with Carter to have Marcus brought to California. I’ll need to run more tests but the surgery should be scheduled for the thirtieth.”

His lips curve into a smile and it’s my turn to look like I’ve been slapped.

There’s nothing more beautiful in this world than Jaxson West smiling.

I blink the thought away and straighten my blouse to keep from looking at him.

“You haven’t changed,” he says. “Except for your hair. It suits you. You look beautiful, Doc.”

Being direct has never let me down before.

“We had sex, Jaxson. That’s all it was. Just sex. We were never in love.” I make air quotations when I say in love. “We weren’t even friends. I didn’t like you, and you didn’t like me. I’m operating on Marcus because I know I can repair the damage to his heart. I’m not doing it for you.”

His smile widens which makes me frown.

“Why are you smiling?”

“You really haven’t changed at all.” He closes the gap between us and presses a kiss to my forehead. Keeping his lips against my skin, he whispers, “The fact that you brought up our history tells me it meant just as much to you as it did to me. I’ll be in touch.”

I stand there gaping like a fish out of the water as I watch him leave.

The arrogant ba –

My thoughts screech to a halt.

He’s right.

“He can’t be right!” I snap at myself.

You know he’s right.

He asked me how I’ve been and gave me a compliment. He even apologized! He was being well-mannered.

I cover my face with my hands as embarrassment washes over me.

That night we spent together might mean something to me, but I’m certainly not ready to examine it.





Chapter 8



JAXSON





When they place the tray of food on the stand, I reach over and lift off the lid. I take the dessert and lean back in the chair.

“How can you eat that shit?” Marcus asks with a look of disgust on his face.

“I take the spoon and scoop it up then shove it in my mouth,” I say, grinning from ear to ear.

“Wiseass,” he mumbles. “Why are you in such a good mood?”

I lick the spoon clean and place the empty bowl back on the tray.

“I saw Leigh last night,” I say, and I’m surprised when he frowns. I thought he’d be happy for me.

“Dude, can you wait until she’s done slicing into my heart before you piss her off?”

“Why do you think I’m going to piss her off?”

Marcus never lies to me, and that’s why I’m not surprised when he says, “She’s different, Jax. Her mind doesn’t work the way ours do. You told me yourself. She doesn’t care about emotions, she cares about facts. The fact is that you screwed her.”

“In another life, I could love you,” I whisper.

Marcus looks at me as if I’ve lost my mind.

“It was something she said to me the night we got together.”

“Sorry to break it to you, bro. That was before you dumped her ass back at the apartment.”

“It’s been years, Marcus. We can get to know each other. We can date. This can be our chance at that life.”

“Why do you want to put yourself through that? You were a mess after she left. You live in New York, and she lives on the other side of the fucking country. You’re not even in the same time zone.”

He’s right. We do live on opposite sides of the country.

“At most, it’s a six-hour flight,” I say, already planning ways to see her.

“Jax, just let it go. So she was the best you had. It doesn’t mean you’re fucking soulmates or some equally sappy shit. Why can’t you just let her go?”

“I kissed her,” I whisper. I never told him that.

“You never kiss.”

I smile at him. “That’s why I’m not giving up.”

“I told her you love her.” He shakes his head. “You know what she said?”

“She hates me? How the fuck should I know,” I snap, a little pissed that he told her how I feel about her.

“She said my heart is the only heart she’s interested in. I believe her, Jax. She’s the kind of person who lives for her job. There is no place for you in her life. She’s a fucking genius. Her world is based on facts, proven fucking facts. Her kind doesn’t believe in things like love, and death, and Adam and fucking Eve, Jax!”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” I stand up and push the tray with food closer to him. “It’s not that she was the best I’ve ever had. It’s the way she looked at me. Besides you, she’s the only one who’s ever looked past the bullshit. Asking me to leave her…” I take a deep breath while looking at my best friend. “It’s the same as asking me to leave you, Marcus. I didn’t give up on you. I won’t give up on her. I’ll make her understand. I’ll prove to her that it’s a fucking fact that I love her. It’s a fact that she feels something for me. I have to show her feelings don’t hurt.”

“I get it. Leigh is to you what Willow is to me,” he whispers.

I smile at him as I finally understand why he keeps going back to Willow. She’s his person.

“Eat the food. I’ll check in on you after work.”

He picks up the fork and stabs at the piece of chicken.

“It’s fucking tasteless. It makes the metallic taste in my mouth worse.”

“She’s going to fix you,” I whisper and I’m suddenly overcome with emotion.

The expression on his face jumps from hope to fear and back to hope. I place my hand on his shoulder and give it a squeeze.

“Doc won’t let you die, Marcus. It’s not in her to fail. If she thought there was even the slightest chance that you could die, she wouldn’t do it.”

“You really believe that?” Tears well in his eyes, and it makes it harder for me to control my emotions.

“It’s a fact, Marcus.”

“Keep that in mind when she rejects you. If she thinks there’s a chance that things won’t work out between you, she’ll push you away.”

We’re finally on the same page.

“Thanks, Marcus. It helped to talk things out with you. I’ll see you later. Eat the shit and sleep.”

When I get back to work, I go directly to Carter’s office. I tap on the door before entering.

“Do you have a minute?” I ask as I sit down across from him.

“Sure. Did you just come from the hospital?” He leans back in his chair and gives me his undivided attention.

“Yeah, thanks for calling Leigh. Talking about Leigh, what time is her flight?”

“Why, Jax?”

I let out a burst of laughter. “So I can see her before she leaves.”

Carter gets a serious expression on his face, which makes him look just like his father.

“I never told you that I saw Leigh before she left.”

Fuck. I thought only Marcus knew that I slept with Leigh.

“I was there when her dad arrived at the apartment. It was… different. I can’t even explain what I saw, Jax. They didn’t huddle together and mourn their loss. He spoke to her as if he was telling a stranger that a loved one didn’t make it. She didn’t respond like a girl who had just lost her mother.”

He lets out a heavy breath and shakes his head as if what he saw still doesn’t make sense to him.

“She challenged him. She wanted to know exactly when her mother died. I mean down to the last detail. Her dad told her. Fuck, I’d be traumatized for life if someone had to tell me my dad died like that. Not Leigh. She needed to understand that she couldn’t save her mother. It was fucking heartbreaking.”

I take a deep breath as regret grips my heart. I should’ve stayed with her. Fuck, I was stupid. I let her push me away while she needed me most.

“I’m not telling you this to make you feel like shit. I’m telling you this so you’ll understand that she’s different. You’re polar opposites.”

I lean forward and look Carter in the eyes. “Marcus said the same thing to me. I understand that you’re looking out for her.”

He opens his mouth to say something, but I hold up my hand.

“And that you’re looking out for me. What you and Marcus need to understand is that I know all of those things. I love her because she’s different. She challenges me. It’s because she’s my opposite that we fit so perfectly together. Now please tell me what time her flight is.”

“It’s at three.”

“Thank you.”

I get up and look at the time as I leave his office. It’s ten am. I have five hours to get everything ready.

∞∞∞



LEIGH





When I walk into Starbucks, I take a deep breath of the aroma. I look around and spot Willow where she’s sitting at a table near the window. I make my way over to her and place my bag next to the table.