By Proxy(44)
“It doesn’t matter,” Sam replied, soft and level. He felt sorry for his rival. He’d probably feel the same way very soon as he lost Jenny, watched her walk out of the Livingston Courthouse, out of his life.
Paul held Sam’s eyes for a serious moment, his shoulders finally slumping in defeat as he headed back to the cider, leaving Sam alone.
***
Jenny noticed Sam and Paul talking in the corner but decided not to interfere. Whatever they had to say to each other was best left between them. Still, she couldn’t help but notice Sam’s previous cheerfulness had taken a dip when they left the booth and headed down Main Street toward the Grizzly Guzzle Grill to grab some dinner. He didn’t try to take her hand and seemed to brood in silence walking beside her.
“Okay, Sam,” she finally sighed. “Let’s have it.”
He glanced up at her, surprised. “What?”
“What was up between you and Paul?”
Sam shook his head slowly but wouldn’t look at her or speak to her.
She took his arm and pulled him back against the corner of a building, forcing him to meet her eyes. “Tell me.”
“He’s worried I’m going to hurt you.” He met her eyes and then looked down, kicking at a lump of ice on the sidewalk with the toe of his shoe.
Oh, she thought. Me too. But she mustered her courage to respond to him, making sure to keep her voice light. “That’s silly.”
Sam’s head whipped up to face her.
She smiled at him reassuringly. “I’m not a child, Sam. You’re here for a weekend. We head back to Livingston on Monday, and then Chicago for you and back to Gardiner for me. You haven’t made any promises, nor have I.”
The tension in his faced eased a little as he listened to her words. “I would never want to hurt you, Jenny. Never.”
She smiled at him, cocking her head to the side. “Sam, the only thing that’s hurting me is my belly because I’m hungry. Can you please cheer up a little so we can go have supper?”
He searched her face with a worried expression then softened into a teasing grin. “Sassy little thing when dinner’s late.”
“You bet,” she replied, taking his proffered arm and resuming their course.
Well, Jen, hope you don’t need any more bravado tonight, because you just used up your whole reserve. She sighed, trying not to think about Monday when it was only Saturday. Live in the moment. Make this a memory you want to keep.
They stopped in front of the picture window at the saddler’s shop. Sam asked her which of the gingerbread houses on display was her favorite.
She grinned and tapped the glass in front of one completely covered in white frosting, messy and haphazard.
“Looks like something my niece would make. I think you’re a soft touch, Miss Lindstrom.”
“I love the little ones,” she conceded, smiling up at him.
“Your brother mentioned that. He said you wanted to work with little children, but Gardiner didn’t need an elementary school teacher, so you took a job at the high school instead.”
She nodded, waving to familiar faces here and there as they walked on. “That’s true.”
“I didn’t know you wanted to stay in Great Falls.”
“Wow. Sounds like I missed quite the history of my life!”
“Not really. They asked about Kristian. I mentioned he was from Great Falls. Lars volunteered how much you loved it up there.”
“I did. I loved going to school there. I thought I would stay after I graduated, but…”
“Your Mom got sick.”
Her stomach dropped a little at the baldness of his statement and she flinched. “Yes. Yes, she got sick. So I came home.”
She dropped her hand from his arm and put her hands in her parka pockets, as much to warm them as to comfort herself.
“I’m sorry it worked out that way, Jenny. I’m sorry about your Mom.”
“Me too. All of it. She was too young, you know?” They found themselves at the bridge again. Jenny held onto the railing, staring out toward the sound of the black, rushing water in the darkness. “She didn’t want to worry me. When they came for graduation, she was much thinner and looked frail, but she told me she was recovering from a bad bout of the flu. I believed her. So wrapped up in my own life, I couldn’t see what was right in front of me. She had sworn the boys to secrecy. I was the only one to go to college and she told them, ‘My Jenny-girl’s going to follow her dreams.’ Lars and Nils went against her when they came to get me a few weeks later.” She paused, running her hand back and forth across the railing. “I’ll owe them for the rest of my life for making that decision. I wouldn’t have ever forgiven myself if I’d missed those last few weeks.”