By Proxy(41)

Noen elsket meg en gang. Jeg er velsignet.

Like an answer to her prayer, she heard her mother’s loving voice in her head. You make a memory tonight, Jenny-girl. Be sure it’s a memory you want to keep.

“Ja, Mamma,” she whispered, holding herself tightly and smiling.

She went into her bathroom and washed her hands, the cold water a good jolt back to reality. She looked at her face in the mirror.

For now. Not forever.

***

He hadn’t moved since she left the room.

He was trying to breathe normally.

He was trying to assuage the effect she had on his body before she came back.

He was trying to remember he was leaving on Monday.

He was losing the first two battles. His pulse was so fast and his blood was rushing so hard to one specific place, he was feeling light-headed. Finally sitting down on the little loveseat, he put his head between his knees. He concentrated on slowing down his heart, breathing in then out. In, then out. His head started to clear, and he felt other areas of his body relaxing too, thank God. He sat back, shaking his head, at a loss.

The women he knew in Chicago spent thousands of dollars a year on their hair and make-up and wore cutting-edge fashion, but he was telling the truth when he said he’d never seen anything as pretty as her. Just as he had expected a chubby Brunhilde at the Courthouse, tonight he had expected the same Jenny from today in her old jeans and beat-up boots. The most he had hoped for was that she might leave her hair down especially for an evening out. The Jenny that had materialized at her apartment door was a revelation. She was a stunner, a knockout, a beauty in any context, in any city, in any town, anywhere.

And she offered this gift to him.

Every moment he spent with her was making him dread Monday. He moved toward it like a condemned man, wanting to grasp and claw at the clock, turn back the hands and slow down time so he had more moments with her, more memories, more warmth to take with him when he returned to his cool, slick life in Chicago.

Why couldn’t he have met her there? Why couldn’t she have been in Chicago for some reason, any reason, and they could have met and had a chance with each other? The unfairness of finding her and not being able to have her frustrated him. His forehead creased in thought. But, wait, Sam. Wait. A small kernel of hope materialized in his head, and he couldn’t shake it. You don’t know if she’d consider coming to Chicago. Maybe to visit. Maybe to just visit and see what happens. And maybe she’d like it. Maybe she’d give it a chance.

Could he ask that of her? A small-town girl, living a perfectly contented life? Sure, he could. He could ask her to visit. He wouldn’t pressure her, but if she said yes, he’d just show her the best of Chicago and see what she thought. His brain hurt from thinking and from the hopeful energy needed to fuel such an unlikely idea, but he couldn’t shake the possibility. He’d never know unless he asked. He would just have to wait for the right moment.

She came back out of her room with a bright smile, and he stood up.

“Thanks for this,” he said. “For your beautiful outfit, and…” He gestured at her helplessly, unaccustomed to feeling so clumsy around a woman.

Sam, you’re the world’s biggest sap with these corny words and stupid gestures. Get it together, brother!

“Oh. It was fun to dress up. I don’t get the chance very often. The last time I wore this was at UGF.”

She moved to the front closet and took out her parka, struggling to put it on while holding her purse. He took the coat to hold it for her and she accepted his help wordlessly without turning to look at him. As she zipped up, he lifted her hair off her neck where it was trapped under the collar, just as he had at the courthouse. He gently laid her hair back against the open parka hood, watching it mix effortlessly with the ruff of white fur, then put his hands on her shoulders, turning her to face him.

She looked up at him, searching his eyes, then flicked her glance quickly to his lips before finding his eyes again. It was all he needed to know and later he would have sworn his heart stopped beating for a moment as he bent his head toward her, touching his lips to hers for the first time. He felt her breath released in a soft sigh against his mouth as she moved her hands up, flattening them on his chest. Leaning into her, he moved his hands down her back slowly, over her shoulder blades, following her spine to the small of her back, where they rested against the shell of her down parka. He ran his tongue lightly along her lips, eliciting a small moan from deep in her throat that made his fingers curl in excitement and pleasure. Her mouth parted slightly in invitation, and he touched his tongue to hers then sucked it into his mouth gently.