Broken but Breathing(Jinx Tattoos Book 2)(18)

She pulled into the motel parking lot as the sky was turning from  midnight blue to purple. Killing the engine, she grabbed her bag from  the passenger seat and stepped out. There were no lights on in room 306,  and she wondered if she'd made the right call. Now that he had time to  sober up, would he resent her presence? Too late to choke now.

She left the car, locking it behind her and walked over to the door,  knocking loudly. A few minutes later, the door swung open to reveal a  disheveled giant with red-rimmed eyes, and dark circles. He stepped  forward and lifted her off the ground. Squealing, she wrapped her arms  around his neck to stabilize herself.

He tangled his thick fingers in her hair, and she inhaled his scent. The  smell of whiskey, woods, and something pure Xavier hit her. When did  this man become my idea of comfort? She trailed her fingers through his  dark hair, nuzzling his neck.

"Fuck it's good to see you, Es." When he placed a kiss on the top of her  head, warmth spread through her body. After he set her down, she cupped  his cheek. He leaned into her touch and she amazed at the changes that  had occurred in the man overnight. Before, he'd always seemed larger  than life.

"You don't look right, Xavier."

"I feel worse. Come on, let's get inside." He pulled her in, glanced around the parking lot, and shut the door.

"You want to tell me what's going on?"

"You know my story. We got a tip from someone who had information on  what happened. There's a chance my Jocelyn is out there somewhere. I  don't know who has her, what her life has been like, or what she was  told about Jade and me."

His voice cracked. "I can't stop thinking about it. I want to believe  it, and then I don't. If I get my hopes up, and it was a lie … " He shook  his head and sank to his knees, burying his face in her belly. This was  about so much more than the anonymous tip. This was years' worth of pain  finally spilling over. How long has he kept all of this inside?

"Whatever it is, I'm here for you. I won't pretend to know what this  feels like, but you're not alone." She kissed his crown, stroking his  hair. "If she's alive, I know you'll move heaven and earth to get her  back. Once you have her, the love you'll pour into her will be the thing  that truly matters."

"What if it's not? How can I ever make up for the ways I let her down? I let both of them down."

"No, you didn't. None of this is on you. Bad shit happens that we can't  control. All we can do is pick up after the storm blows through and find  a way to keep moving forward. If she's still out there, it's a gift.  You get a second chance to be a parent. That's a precious gift, and no  one I know deserves it as much as you. You're incredible. Three months  ago you didn't even know me, and already you've worked miracles in my  life. A child would be blessed to have you as a father."

"I'm not so sure."

"I am."

He snickered and pulled away. "I look like a pussy all but sobbing all over you."

"No, you sound like a man who loves his child. Nothing pussy about  that." Their gazes locked, and her mouth went dry. There is so much  beauty inside this man. He rose, and she tilted her head back to  maintain eye contact.

"I can't believe you came down here."

"I thought we were supporting," she said.

"This goes beyond that."

The air between them grew thick.

She cleared her throat. "Now we sleep. I have to get up in a few hours and drive back, and you need to rest."

He blinked slowly and nodded his head. "There's only one bed."

She peered at the large bed. "I think we can manage." She toed off her  shoes, unzipped her jacket, and tossed it onto a chair. "Come on."  Grabbing his hand she tugged him toward the bed, sensing how lost he  was. She slid beneath the covers faking the confidence she didn't feel.  The bed dipped under his weight, and he pulled her body toward his,  wrapping his muscular arms around her.

"You're so damn tiny," he said.

"No, you're just super-sized."

He snickered and rested his chin on top of her head. "Thank you."         

     



 

"I'll always have your back."

"I'm starting to see that," he murmured.

Silence settled over them like a blanket and drowsiness sucked her down  into the blackness of sleep. It struck her odd that sleeping with him  didn't bother her.

§

She woke slowly. Long arms wrapped around her waist, and a heavy leg  pinned her to the bed. What did I do? She forced her heavy lids open and  took in the hotel room. The previous night returned to her, and she  took a deep breath. It was just Snake. Her body relaxed. It'd been so  long since she woke to someone else in bed.

Her bladder reminded her why she was awake. She wiggled, trying to  loosen his hold, and when he rocked his hips in response to the  movement, she felt something long and thick press against her ass.

She bit the inside of her cheek and swallowed back a moan. Now is not  the time to remember how long it's been since I had sex. An ache began  in her center. She elbowed him gently. "I have to pee."

He moaned and released her, rolling onto his back. She slipped from the  bed and rushed to the bathroom, horrified by the direction her thoughts  had begun to travel. The cold seat shocked her into consciousness. He's  vulnerable. He needs a friend. Finishing her business, she splashed  water on her face, tamed her wild hair, and returned to the room.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, staring at the bearded man nursing a steaming mug of coffee in their bed.

"Better. Embarrassed as fuck. But better."

"Good." She peered at the old-school desk clock beside the bed. "It's eleven. I'll need to get out of here soon."

He nodded. "I appreciate you coming down the way you did, Es. It … uh, meant a lot."

"That's what best friends are for."

"Is that what I am?"

"It's how I see you," she replied honestly.

"It's how I see you, too," he admitted.

She beamed.

"Least I can do is feed you before you go," Snake said.

"You don't have to-"

"You're eating before you leave," he said, narrowing his eyes.

"I'm starting to wonder if you have some food fetish."

"Only as it pertains to you. I want to fatten you up."

She laughed. "Why?"

"Because you need it, girl. You were all skin and bones."

"And now?"

"We're getting there."

She rolled her eyes. "I'll let it slip since you're hung-over."

"And right," he said.

"Hmmm."

"This place doesn't have much in the way of accommodations, but it does  have room service thanks to the restaurant it's connected to. What  sounds good?"

"Oatmeal and toast?"

"With a side of bacon, and some fruit, check," Snake said, making her  laugh. He had a way of getting you to do what he wanted without being  overbearing. I can see why he's Vice President.

"Is it okay if I hop in the shower first?" she asked.

"Go for it."

She grabbed her bag and wheeled into the bathroom. It was amazing how  things had developed. What started off as a fluke had blossomed into a  genuine relationship she considered vital to her sanity.

Too much food later she was back in her car with Snake draped over its frame.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" she asked eyeing him carefully.

"Right as rain. At least, as much as I can be."

"And you'll call me if you aren't?"

He smiled. "Yeah, Es. I'll call. I don't lose my shit too often. So I'm pretty sure I fulfilled my quota for the next year."

"Smart ass. I worry."

"You shouldn't. That's my job," he said.

"I think it goes both ways," she countered.

"Get out of here, and stop arguing with me, Sprite," he growled and bent in, brushing her cheek with his lips.

Her face tingled and her belly clenched. Things were changing between them.





CHAPTER SEVEN

Snake

He stood in front of the familiar apartment numb. In just a few days his  life had once again exploded. His face was numb, and his body was stiff  from driving in the frigid weather. He'd spend the past two weeks  hunting down Paul Smith, Jacob Sanders, and T.J. Perkins with his  brothers. They'd all meet their maker, but not before confirming Hiram's  words to be truth.

Despite the torture, Hiram continued to hold his tongue. The old bastard  knew it was the one thing keeping him breathing. How could he let him  walk? This man was responsible for everything that happened to his  family. How could he not? He ran a shaky hand through his hair. He'd set  off on the road to clear his head and somehow ended up in front of Es's  door.         

     



 

What right do I have to bring her into this? The more she knows the more  dangerous it is for her. There was no one else he could bring this  though. He knocked and leaned against the doorframe, suddenly exhausted.  He'd been catching sleep in small three to four hour intervals, running  on fumes and living off of junk. It all caught up with him now that he  slowed down. Es opened the door.