Broken but Breathing(Jinx Tattoos Book 2)(15)

"Girl, here you won't use half those fancy drinks. Our regulars live on  pretty classic drinks, and the girls will ask for something sweet. You  give them good service, and throw in a few of those fancy tricks of  yours, and they'll tip you really well," Kali said.

Estelle stood a little taller. "I can do that."

"Then you're all set, Sprite. I want you to work tomorrow. It's time we  see how you handle the floor with traffic. It's a relatively slow night  for us, so you should be fine. I told Snake I'd be working with you  personally, so I'm your trainer. That could be a blessing or a curse  depending on how it all goes down."

"I think we'll get along just fine," Estelle said. Fake it until you make it.

"I hope so. We could use another solid bartender onboard. Not everyone  can handle Rain. We have a lot of folks who walked right out those doors  not long after they walked in."

"Won't be me." The promise was to herself. She owed this to Snake. A  deep seeded desire to make him proud had taken hold once she'd accepted  the job offer. The rest was a need to prove to herself she could do  this.

"Keep the fire about you, Sprite. I'll let you leave early because I  want you back tomorrow at five and you won't be leaving until close."

"Aye, Captain," she replied, giving a mock salute.

Kali rolled her eyes playfully as Estelle clocked out and moved to the back to grab her purse from the employee locker room.

Riding high off her good day, she drove toward her apartment. When her  phone rang and Snake's name appeared, she answered it via her blue  tooth.

"Hey, you have perfect timing. I just got out of work."

"How's that going?"

She frowned. His voice was off.

"Good. I have my first actual day tomorrow working from five until close. Are you okay?"

"No, this gig I'm doing now is a hard one."

"Anything I can do to help?" she asked, instantly concerned. It wasn't  like him to skate around issues or be so closed lip about things that  bothered him. She knew the Wild Ones were more than a motorcycle club  and whatever he was doing probably wasn't legal. A few years ago that  would've horrified her. Now, she couldn't care less.

"Just talk to me. Tell me how things are with you."

"Good, class ends Friday if you can believe it. I'll be graduating. I'm  enjoying working at Rain, though Kali can be a real hard ass."

"She giving you shit?" Snake asked. The edge in his voice made her shiver.

"No more than she would any other newbie. It's fine."

"If she steps out of line-"

"You'll what? Fight my battles for me. No, I've got this. I'm more worried about you right now."

"Been a long time since that happened for me," he said softly.

"I understand if you can't tell me everything, but I can't help if I have nothing to go on."

"The area we're in is littered with ghosts from my past. I got a case of  the what ifs. You know, they never found my Jocelyn's body. That's one  of those things that keeps me up at night."

Jesus. "I'm sorry, Xavier." She was learning to distinguish the man from the larger-than-life biker.

"Me too. What if I'd had a gun in the house instead of that bat? Hell,  what if I had never moved them down to this shit hole town in the first  place?"

"You can't do this to yourself. You'll never be able to answer these  questions. I won't tell you everything happens for a reason, because  that's just bullshit. But we both know you can't go back in time. If it  was that easy we would've done it by now."         

     



 

"Fuck, since when are you the voice of reason?" he asked shakily.

"Well I have been learning from the best."

"You really do have a mouth on you once you open up."

"I got that from you, too," she said, happy to hear the shift in his mood.

"I must be a pretty good teacher then."

"That you are. Better?"

"A little. The worst part about losing a child is not being able to  bring them home or know what their final moments were like. Even if they  were awful, I need to know."

She wanted to ask why, but didn't. This was past her pay grade, and the  last thing she wanted to do was set him back off. "I hope you get the  closure you deserve, Xavier."

"Believe me, I'm working on that."

His words were dangerous, and his voice held a tone she'd never heard him use before. It sent a chill up her spine.

A knock sounded on his end. "I have to go. I'll call you later, yeah?"

"I'll be here," she said, suddenly very concerned about his business trip.

§

"Have you thought any more about what you want to do after graduation on  Friday? I know they help you with job placement," Jole asked.

The innocent question put her on the spot. "I'm narrowing my decision."

"Where are you thinking about?" she asked, flipping through her menu.  Todd was manning the drop-off and pick up of the kids, so they'd opted  for an impromptu coffee and dessert at their favorite local diner.

"Well, the thing is, I found a place."

"What? Why didn't you tell me?" Jole asked as she finished off the final bite of her pecan pie.

"Because I wasn't sure if I wanted to commit to it or not. I went in for an interview and took time to think it over."

"Makes sense. What restaurant did you go with?" Jole asked. Her face lit up, and she leaned forward over the table.

"I didn't."

The corners of Jolene's mouth turned down and her thick eyebrows arched. "I'm not following you."

"It's a club. You might have heard of it …  Rain."

"Rain?" Jole repeated the name. Her eyes went out of focus. "Wait. The place near downtown!"

"That's the one."

"That place has been raided and is known to cater to bikers, Estelle. I  don't care how swank it looks on the inside, it isn't safe."

"I don't agree."

"How did you even find out about this job? Is this what that school is  offering you?" Jole asked, spitting out the world school like it left a  bad taste in her mouth.

"No, Snake got me the gig. He works there, so it's not like I'd be on my own."

"Wait. Who?" Jole asked shaking her head.

"Snake … my support."

"Why does he have an animal name, Estelle?" Jole's face clouded with anger and confusion.

"Reptile, and it's a nickname, they all have them," Estelle replied.

"They?" Jole said.

"The Wild Ones, its Snake's Motorcycle Club."

"Are you out of your mind?" Jole hissed.

"We've both seen me on the verge of insanity. This isn't it," Estelle said, determined to remain calm.

"You've been hanging out with bikers this entire time?"

"Well, usually just one biker, but yeah, sometimes we hang out at the clubhouse."

Jole shook her head. "Listen, I know you're trying to get back out there, but this isn't the right way to go about things."

"Why? Because you don't approve? You've never met any of them and yet here you are judging."

"I don't need to meet them to know what they're about. These people make  a living off of criminal activities they're involved in."

"Really? Rain seems pretty legal to me."

"Who knows what goes on there? You can't just throw yourself into any old thing."

"I didn't. I was fortunate enough to be paired with Snake at the grief  group. The man's amazing, patient, kind, and best of all he understands  exactly what I've been through."

"Have you asked him how his family died? I bet it had something to do with the life he's living."

"That's enough," Estelle barked.

Jole flinched.

"I understand that this seems to be out of nowhere. I know I've leaned  on you more than I should've over the years, and you've gotten used to  taking care of me, but it's time we both reestablish boundaries and  learn our new roles. Snake lost his family before he joined the club.  They gave him a place to belong and something to live for. He was the  victim of a hate crime. You're so hell bent on painting him out to be  this shady character. Fact is, he's the one who's been victimized by  those considered upstanding citizens. I'm not asking you to agree with  the decisions I'll make or be comfortable with them. But I do expect you  to respect them. Never bad mouth Snake to me. He did what no one else  could."         

     



 

"And what's that, Estelle?" Jole asked.

"Made me feel alive again."

Jole glanced down at her hands.

Checkmate.

"I won't insult you by pretending to know how you've felt all this time.  But I won't stand by and watch you make mistakes that might ruin you  without voicing my concerns."

"And I would expect nothing less. I'm not the same woman I once was. I  never will be. I've accepted that. I need you to do the same."

"I'm not trying to-"

"You are. I see it in your eyes every time I do something that would be  out of character. I don't even know who I am anymore. Knowing that I'm  being held up against a set of norms which no longer exist for me is  exhausting. I need to explore, take risks, and step outside of the box.  This is my second chance to get things right. I was happy before, but I  can't try to recreate that old life."