Broken Rider(26)
Charlie whinnied and Erin looked over at him and said, “It’s okay Charlie, we’re heading home now. Do you want to go see Christine and Cindy?” She stood and walked towards the horse and patted his long snout. He whinnied again and Erin sensed he was a little nervous. She worried somebody might be sneaking up on her and when she turned her head she saw Jack standing by the entrance to the make-shift range. He looked terrible and had a lone tear running down his cheek.
“I’m sorry Erin.”
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“Do you mind if I speak to you for a few moments?” Jack asked. “I would like to explain myself, for whatever that is worth.” Erin thought about giving him the cold shoulder and letting him feel a little bit of the sting of rejection, but decided against it. Not only was behaving that way petty and juvenile, it also meant Jack would probably leave her for good, and she definitely did not want that.
“Ok, I’m listening."
Jack stepped closer and removed his dusty hat. He looked as if he hadn’t been getting any sleep—or nutrition—and despite being angry with him Erin began to feel a little sympathetic.
“Erin, I never meant to up and disappear on you. When I first saw you I knew I was in trouble. All these years since my wife passed and another woman has never tempted me, until you were dropped in the middle of my life, that is. At first I chalked up my feelings to loneliness and assumed they would recede with time. They didn’t and my feelings for you began to deepen. When you invited me to dinner I knew what was likely to happen and I went anyway. I should have worked out all my issues with Sarah before becoming intimate with you, but things just escalated quickly and I couldn’t control myself. I am sorry Erin, for being a weak, weak man.”
Erin stared at him and saw the pain painted all over his face. This was no act; Jack Riggans was a main in pain, of that she was sure. She had no doubt she would eventually forgive the man, but forgetting was an entirely different manner. “You’re not a weak man, Jack, you’re just an inconsiderate one. If you had simply left me a note, things would have been much easier on me. Instead I woke up alone in a cold bed.”
Jack lowered his eyes for a moment and collected his thoughts. “I am terribly sorry for that,” he said. “I had woken up early the next morning and went outside for some fresh air. My mind began running and soon enough I was thinking of Sarah. I know it’s not fair of me to keep mentioning her name, but I had yet to heal from the loss of her when I met you.” Erin watched as he edged closer and kicked a stone out his way. “So I decided to hop on my bike and go for a morning ride. Well, I guess my heart needed a lot of healing because I didn’t stop riding until I hit Montana.”
Erin wasn’t sure how she felt about driving a man to ride a motorcycle hundreds of miles into another state, but she knew how she felt about Jack, and as she watched him beg for mercy she decided to give it to him. “Jack, I accept your apology.”
The biker's weathered face lit up. “Do you mean it Erin, do you forgive me for being an ass?”
Erin nodded and walked forward with her arms open. “Come here and give me a hug.” Jack stepped forward and embraced her. He smelt like hard riding and open land. Erin nearly fainted due to his masculine scent, but instead broke the embrace and looked the man she loved in the face.
“Jack, I need to know how you feel now. I know losing your wife was tragic, and I empathize with you over how long it has taken you to move on, but I have to worry about my own heart. I can’t allow my feelings for you to fester while you continue to mourn your ex-wife. I hope you understand.”
“I understand completely, and I hope you’ll hear me out. When Sarah died I swore I would never love another woman. That woman helped save me Erin; I was an angry, bitter man before I met her. I put on a good front and everyone just assumed Jack Riggans liked to keep to himself, but the truth of the matter is I hated myself. Sarah changed that all. She helped me see the beauty in life and brought sunshine to my life when I needed it most, so it felt like a betrayal to love another woman after she was gone.”
Erin nodded and felt her eyes begin to well with tears. The passion this man felt for his ex-wife was deep and she could only hope she herself was lucky enough to be so intently loved by a man. Jack took a breath and continued. “So I kept to myself after her passing, just like in the old days. This time I wasn’t miserable though, just a little lonely. I was sure I would go the rest of my life, happily, mind you, without the comforts of a woman. But then I met you, and everything changed. You share the same qualities as Sarah; rebellious, smart, sassy…drop dead gorgeous…”