Blue Lines(72)

“Did I hear that your parents are coming in tomorrow? That’s short notice.”

Erik nodded. “Yeah, they want to see us.”

“That’s nice. We’ll need to get the house ready.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re being quiet,” she suddenly said as she glanced over at him. He looked away, out at the road as he drove faster down the interstate. “Are you not happy that our baby is a boy?”

He shook his head. “I just want him to be healthy. Him being a boy is just a bonus.”

He could sense her grinning but he didn’t look over as he let out the breath he was holding.

“You’ll be a great dad, Erik.”

Erik blinked that itching feeling out of his eyes. “How do you know that?”

“Because like I said earlier, you are a good man.”

“I come from shit, Piper. You don’t know the half of it.”

“No, you come from two people who taught you how to love after all the hate you went through. Erik, pull over,” she said quickly.

He shook his head. “No.”

“You can’t drive when you’re crying; that is not safe.”

He slammed his fist into the steering wheel, causing her to jump. “I do not cry, Piper.”

He closed his eyes for a just a moment and then opened them again, his vision clear enough to keep driving. He was only ten minutes from Sweetbriar. He’d drop her off and then go somewhere. She was hitting too many sore spots; she was breaking through his walls and he couldn’t handle it. He needed them to stay up; he had too much to deal with as it was and the walls made him strong; they kept in his emotions and helped him survive. He’d built those walls the first time his dad beat the shit out of him; he was either three or five, whatever, and those walls helped him stay strong. He would never understand why his dad hated him but he didn’t need to understand to survive. Everyone he loved either didn’t love him back or left him. Hell, if your family is supposed to love you unconditionally and they don’t, then why the hell would someone who is not your family want to stay with you, let alone love you? Nope, he couldn’t deal with the thought of loving Piper and her leaving him.

“Erik, listen to me, I wouldn’t stick around and deal with your shit if I didn’t believe you were a good man. When I look at you, I see Cooper. I may not know Jasha, but I know Cooper and you are him made over, and our son will be like you and Cooper. I wouldn’t want to have a baby with anyone but you, and I am thankful that you were raised by such a great man. Everything is going to be okay.”

Erik shook his head, hating that she was so kind and had all the right words. He didn’t understand why she had to be so nice. Why wouldn’t she just leave him be, let him stew in his anger and hate himself? He wanted to be the man she spoke of but he wasn’t sure he had it in him to do it. He didn’t want to disappoint her; she had these expectations of him and he did not want to let her down.

He had pulled into their driveway, and instead of going in he said, “Why do you care, Piper? I’m still leaving.”

“That may very well happen, but I believe you’ll still be the best father, Erik. I think that when you care for someone, you are there for them like I’m here for you. I will always be here, even when you leave.”

“Why?” he asked, looking over at her. “Why don’t you hate me? Why don’t you see who I really am?”

Piper shrugged as she smiled. “I do see who you are, Erik, and believe me, I could never hate you. I’ve tried and only fell harder for you.”

“Don’t fall, Piper. I’m not the guy for you,” he whispered.

“I don’t agree,” she whispered back.

“I’m only going to hurt you.”

Piper shook her head. “When I care for someone, they get all of me. I can’t hold back.” She gave him one last smile and then threw the door open, struggling to get her bulk out of the car. Without even a second thought, Erik hopped out of the car and rushed out to help her. When she reached for his hand, she said, “Would someone who isn’t a good man help his wife get out of the car? Think about that, Mr. Titov.”

She wrapped her arms around his waist and just held him. Her scent was intoxicating and he could feel her heart beat on his stomach as she moved her nose along the middle of his chest. Not able to fight it anymore, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him as he rested his head on hers. He could feel her stomach moving and he wanted to drop to his knees to hold his son in his hands but instead he held her.

“I’m here for you,” she whispered before moving out of his arms and walking past him to the house. Piper terrified him, and he really had no clue what he was going to do with her. All he did know was that his feelings for her were growing with each passing day. He enjoyed her spunkiness and her banter. He enjoyed her smiles and man, did he love her laugh. And as shitty as he’d been to her, she was still there—that in itself meant a lot.