Blue Lines(71)

“I think that speaks for itself,” Rachel said, laughing.

Piper smiled as she turned her head to look at Erik. His brow was to his hairline and he looked confused as he looked over at her.

“What is it? Is that the baby’s leg or something?”

Piper rolled her eyes as she squeezed his hand.

“It’s our boy’s penis.”

* * *

A boy?

Taking in shuddering breaths, Erik looked at the screen and then at Piper’s belly before glancing back at the screen where his son sat with his legs apart. He started to get that itchy feeling in his eyes and he refused to identify it; he just kept staring at his son. Looking back at Piper, seeing her beautiful flushed face as her eyes dripped with tears, he felt like his chest was opening and everything was falling out.

A boy, their boy.

“A boy.”

“A boy!” Rachel repeated, “A big boy, too. He’s got some girth to him. How far along are you?”

“Twenty-eight weeks, tomorrow,” Piper answered as Erik’s chest shook with the pounding of his head.

“He’s a tad bit bigger than that, but he is healthy and beautiful; look at those cheeks.”

Erik did and smiled when he realized that they were Piper’s cheeks. “He has your cheeks.”

“And your nose,” she pointed out with a grin, “He’s perfect. God, that sounds awesome to call him a he. I’ve been calling him an it for, like, ever!”

Him. He. Boy.

Erik was having a son.

* * *

The whole way back to Sweetbriar, Piper was on the phone calling and texting everyone while Erik drove in silence. He couldn’t believe it. He was having a boy. A little guy that would be rough and tough, who would want to play hockey and grow up to be just like Erik. For some reason, Erik had convinced himself that the baby would be a girl, but it wasn’t. He was a boy, his boy. He was just so damn happy, and worried, too, that he might turn out like his father.

Jasha was a horrible father, the meanest asshole in the world, and he left Erik with deep scars, physically and mentally. How was he supposed to be there and show his son how to be a good man when he didn’t know how to be one? It didn’t matter what anyone else thought he was, because he knew. Erik knew what he was, and no matter how much he wanted to believe Piper, he couldn’t. He was going to fuck up, just like Jasha had.

When his phone rang, Erik dug it out of his pocket to see that it was Cooper. Jakob must have called him, and guilt filled Erik when he thought that he should have been the one to call him once they left the clinic. Hitting the answer button, Erik said, “Hey, Dad.”

“Hey, buddy! A boy!”

Erik smiled and repeated, “A boy.”

“This is great; we’ll teach him to play once he’s old enough to skate, and don’t worry I’ll go with Piper to the hockey games so that the baby is taught how to play by someone that knows the game. No offense to Piper, she is beautiful but I doubt she knows a lick about hockey. Man, this is great, Erik, really great. You know we have a special place in our hearts for boys.”

Erik felt like his chest was closing in. This man loved two kids that weren’t even his and Erik was scared he could never love a child that was his. With a heavy heart, Erik muttered, “Yeah.”

Cooper paused and then cleared his throat. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Erik lied, but he knew Cooper didn’t believe him.

“Don’t lie to me, son. I’m here, remember? Is it because Piper is there?”

“Sure,” Erik muttered. “I’m just freaking out a little.”

Erik listened as Cooper took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Your mom was going to tell you this, but I’m going to save you the conversation with her and just tell you that we’ll be in Nashville tomorrow. We want to come stay with you guys for two days and then with Jakob. I think you need me, Erik, so I am going to be there.”

Erik didn’t say anything as his eyes started to do that stupid itching thing again. It was starting to get on his nerves and he blamed Piper for it. It was her fault he was turning into a pansy. His dad was right, though, he did need him. Clearing his throat, he said, “Yeah, that would be great.”

“Awesome. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Erik agreed to text them Piper’s address and then said bye before hanging up the phone. Piper was playing on her phone as she grinned from ear to ear. She was so happy, and if he allowed himself to be, he could be, too, but he was so scared. How does someone love someone when he didn’t grow up with love? A child needed those core values and Erik didn’t know those until later in life. Man, he was so fucked.