Being Kalli(79)

“He’s not here,” I say. “You haven’t seen him arrive?”

Scout frowns. “He hasn’t texted me either. Oh um …” she trails off and the look she gives me says she’s just remembered what day it is for Nate, too.

Scout and Steph are great at letting me be a third wheel. We go nuts on the dance floor, and I bust some nutcracker and shopping trolley moves much to their delight. Scout falls so hard she topples, which is fortunate, because if Steph had fallen in that mini this party would have gotten complete exposure from that already-too-much outfit.

I end up breaking my rule and finishing that bottle, and move onto anything double strength. I try to count but lose track, and at one point I’m head down, humming to myself and complimenting myself on how beautiful my boots are when some jerk bumps into me and gets my drink all over both of us.

It’s then that I give up. My phone reads 10.50 pm and I’m pleased Nate is spending the night honouring his mum properly. Then, I get an idea.

I find a mic and say “So, guysss.” I notice the slur in my voice as I step up onto the makeshift platform at the end of the dance floor. The thing is luckily six to seven feet wide and fifteen feet long, so I’m betting on not falling off.

Before I restart, I take a breath and focus on uttering my words slowly. “I know you guys didn’t come here tonight with a theme in mind, but I have something important to say. My best friend, Scout, is a wonderful girl who puts up with my bitchy and crazy behaviour at best—”

“Gimme some more, Kalli!” some guy’s voice hollers from inside the mass of crowd gawking at me.

“I only go upwards of four inches, buddy.”

The crowd screams for me and barracks me on.

“Okay, okay. So I want to do something. Everyone who’s gay, everyone who has a partner of the same sex I want you up on this stage.”

Steph kisses Scout on the cheek and leads her up, hands linked, beside me. One person gets up and another couple joins, too.

“Come on. Forty years from now when you’re retired, and travel, and parties, and even bending to wipe your ass is getting hard, are you going to be proud you pretended to be straight?”

I know there’s at least one other lesbian here. She’d confided in me and some others a while back, and if she’s hiding, I bet there are more.

Someone claps and the rest follow. The number on stage triples.

I take in these people watching me, us. Some are sober, others drunk, many screaming YOLO, which I wanted to call out first, because we are young, and we do only live once, so why be miserable and be someone you’re not?

I sling my arm around Scout and say, “Let’s fucking rock tonight in the name of these friends who will always be accepted with us, whether they love someone as we do, whether they’re blind, whether they’re paraplegic, or shy, or different. Or gay. If you’re willing to rock out tonight, I want to hear you holler for my best friend Scout and all these awesome people!”

Wow, I did not expect this. Girls scream the roof off and wave their hands in the air, a couple of others wolf-whistle over the crowd, and some guys with deep voices start a rumbling cheer, which fires off the DJ back into the music. Bodies are flying and turning and jumping everywhere. The three of us try to get down the steps that are mere feet away, but this now seems impossible without stacking it. Traffic is everywhere, one girl even flying face-first just in front of my feet.

“Here,” a voice says, an extended hand at my offer.

I take it immediately and find the step down, realising the hand is too cold and the skin too rough to be Nate’s, despite my little hope.

“Oh, hey, Donovan.”

I look away, wondering if I could die from awkwardness. I bet now is the moment Nate will walk in, just like the cliché.

“Hey, Kallisto.”

I’m too drunk to care that I hate that name because he gets me, Scout and Steph out of the crowd people who have gone fucking mental. Donovan has the muscle power us girls don’t.

When we get a bit of space, Donovan leans into my ear and shouts over the music and chatter, “I want to apologise for being a dick to you. I’m saying sorry because I did hear about you and Nate but I was dicking around—went too far.”

“No worries.”

“Hey, Kalli.” Scout yanks on my arm and pulls me close to her. “You okay there?”

Seeing Steph watch and ogle at Scout from behind where she thinks no one has noticed, I feel too happy for them both to keep holding them up. Most of tonight I’ve been with them, and my celebration for Scout and her girlfriend will be pointless if I keep them apart.

“Yeah, I’m just a bit sore to dance. I’ll join you in a sec.”