Being Kalli(74)

Nate storms in, right in my space, his hands joining our hips together. “Stuff it. I’ll just tell him something urgent came up.”

“I’m an urgency for you?” I say, kidding around.

Really, I’m feeling the water works. When it comes to love, Nate could all but spell out the words I love you and I’d still half-joke about the prospect with him to safeguard myself in case he decides to reject me. I realise he’d never do that, though. God, first love. It’s driving me into a flutter of freaking butterflies.

He caresses a finger across my cheek, sliding it to my chin and kissing me quickly.

“No,” I say. “Please go.”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know why I was in a rush. I’ll just say I can’t go. It’s my choice.”

His look tries to be sure, stern, but I see it as asking, needing approval from me.

“Since when did you lose your backbone, Nate?”

“Since needing to spend every moment with you.”

“Aren’t you embarrassed that it’s obvious you’re totally whipped?”

“You’d need to whip me with those breasts, in that case.”

Quick—so quick I only feel air whoosh—Nate hikes me up on his hips and my legs wrap around him. He buries his head into my boobs.

“Ahh,” he sighs. “Yup, feels so good.”

Hiked up on him, my legs secure me to him as close as possible so we never have to lose this perfect connection. I find myself blinking, slowing, trying to take every bit of Nate in. Looking at him mesmerises me, and I can barely think staring at him so close while I’m also so connected to him.

He starts to smile, but covers his lips with mine instead, and our lips moving together are slow, like a beater on speed one. We’re feeling, tasting, understanding each other.

I don’t want him to go anywhere.

I pull back and look at him. His face mirrors my thoughts with that dreamy look, flushed cheeks and sexy gaze.

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise,” I say.

Instead of a retort, he smiles and puts me down. “Really?”

“Yup. Pinky promise.”

As we hold out our crooked fingers Nate’s phone rings. I motion for the bathroom and duck out quickly to change.

I come back into my room to hear Nate finishing up, “… yeah I’m leaving in a few. Mhm. Cool, bro. See ya soon.” Nate mucks around with my phone, spinning it in his other hand.

He hangs up his mobile, but continues to stare at mine.

“What is it?”

Nate ignores me, looking at something.

“Nate?” I repeat, prompting him.

When he doesn’t reply, he says, “Tell me this is a lie.”

I lean over to look at the phone, but Nate snatches it to his chest. I eye him for a moment in case I can sense some clues, but I’m getting a very shaky feeling standing so close to him with his fist crushing my phone, and his jaw working his teeth against each other. His eyebrows are perked, waiting.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about! Stop playing games and just spill it.”

He snorts. “Whatever, I’m sick of your shit. I thought you were different. You seemed … forget it.” I catch the phone as he throws it on the bed, scanning the text I never got to read last night:

Donovan: Ey, sexy Kally. Wanna come with to that party tomoz night at the usual? I miss that tight ass and short black skirt.

“Wait!” I scream out, as Nate is a second away from stepping out of my room.

I run behind him and slam the door shut, trapping him here in my panic. I need any moment longer I can get.

“You’re kidding; you’re not mad. Are you? I haven’t spoken to him! You can even see the text is unread.”

“Kalli …” Nate dips his head, his eyes searching mine. At least they won’t find lies. But I’m trembling at the thought he’ll mistake my fear for fear he’s discovered I’ve been chatting to Donovan, because that hasn’t happened. I’m just flipping out, palms spread over the door, blocking Nate in case he leaves because of Donovan’s careless text.

“Please!”

“He ‘misses’ you?”

I shrug, attempting to act cool. “I’ve been with him before, so …”

“So he ‘misses’ you? I think that’s bull. You know it too. A guy doesn’t miss a girl unless he wants to fuck her. He’s asking you to the party because he obviously thinks you’re interested.”

I swap to cross my hands across my chest. I was defensive, trembling at the thought Nate would end all this happiness for this mistaken text message, but now he can go jump if he won’t give me a chance. His first instinct is to judge me for how I was, how I used to be. What a liar, saying all that deep and meaningful shit about me.