Becoming Calder(83)

As I sat in the corner of the dining hall, watching the gathering go on around me, I talked to my sister in my mind. Maya, I don't know how this all works, but if you're able, help us . . . help us get out of here safely.

If Maya heard me, she gave no indication. I felt utterly alone despite being surrounded by people I considered family.





CHAPTER NINETEEN




Eden



I felt like my heart had shattered into a million jagged pieces. I couldn't go to Calder, I couldn't offer comfort, I couldn't hold him or take away any of his sadness. And I grieved for the girl I'd never know, the girl who had such a large piece of Calder's heart. I saw the stark misery written all over his face, a look of sheer devastation. Yet he wouldn't look at me. I didn't want to be selfish; this wasn't about me. But I didn't understand why Calder avoided my eyes when I attempted to get him to look at me. I was hurt and confused and I felt completely helpless.

I thought about writing a note and leaving it in the bushes in front of the main lodge for Xander, but I knew he wouldn't come looking for it and it would sit there, possibly creating the risk of being found by someone else. And so I wandered through the days—existing as best as I could—praying for the hours to pass by more quickly, to bring me closer to the day when I would hear that bird call outside my window.

Every morning, I had a moment of peace before the hole inside would start throbbing and I would remember even though Calder was close, he was so very far away.

Hailey hadn't spoken to me since our conversation about me being in love with Calder. It sat heavy in my heart; I had lost her, too. Despite what she believed, I loved her. Not quite like a mother, but like an older sister, or an aunt, and her rejection stung.

Three weeks after Maya's burial, Hector called me down to his office, and I knocked quietly.

"Come in," he called in his deep voice, and I entered the room.

Hector motioned me to a chair in front of his desk. I sat down and crossed my legs at the ankles, my hands resting in my lap. I couldn't help but notice Hector looked more unkempt than I'd ever seen him look before. Hector had always been meticulous in his grooming. But today his hair was uncombed, his shirt slightly untucked, and there was a small piece of food at the corner of his mouth.

It was so unusual it alarmed me.

Hector leaned back in his chair, regarding me with a small smile on his face. "I hear your bridal gown is coming along nicely."

I looked down. "Yes, my veil is complete. It's lovely. Of course, it means all the more that I have something handmade by Maya Raynes."

Hector was quiet for a minute. "Yes, Maya Raynes." He looked out the window thoughtfully. "Even the gods make mistakes sometimes. It's up to us to create balance. It pleases them. It makes us worthy."

My eyes flew to his. "Mistakes?"

Hector raised his eyebrows. "Surely you noticed the mistake Maya Raynes was?"

I blinked at him, sadness and anger rising in my chest. "I didn't see Maya as a mistake," I said. "She was a beautiful, talented girl."

Hector regarded me. "You're very generous with your praise, Eden, a lovely trait. It never ceases to amaze me how very pure you are."

You know nothing of me, I thought. You're blind to who I am.

I looked down at my hands, wanting nothing more than to leave Hector's office. "What can I do for you, Father?"

"First, stop calling me Father. Call me Hector now as I've already asked you."

I cleared my throat. "Yes, Hector."

"Good. Now speaking of Maya Raynes, I have some good news. Her brother, Calder Raynes will be married in the Temple a little over a month from now. I'd schedule it sooner, but the workers need a little time to prepare a proper wedding."

My heart dropped into my feet and my eyes flew to Hector. "What?" I croaked out.

Hector looked to his left, out the large window. "You're going to be my wife, Eden, in this life and the one after. As the leader of Acadia, I won't seek your council. But you are allowed to know my reasons, and especially on this matter, I think it prudent that you do."

I sat silent, still trying to wrap my brain around what Hector had just said. Surely this was some kind of mistake, trick? "Married to whom, Fa—Hector?" My throat felt like it was closing up.

"To Hannah Jacobson. She was born here, just like Calder. She's only seventeen, but her father has consented to her marriage."

I conjured a vision of Hannah . . . the small, dark-haired girl with the pretty smile who had caused me a moment of intense jealousy the year before. I sat up straighter. "And why are you telling me about this?" I asked. Hector had never called me to his office to tell me about the union  s of the workers before.