Becoming Calder(78)

Calder scooped me up and carried me out of the water as I laughed. He lay me back down on the blanket and moved between my legs. We were wet and the slight breeze chilled me, but then his warm skin was on mine and I sighed out in comfort. Calder kissed me, his mouth warm and wet and delicious. After a few minutes, we were both moaning and moving against each other, trying to get closer. How was it that Calder made my body feel heavy and full, yet too empty both at the same time? Within minutes, I was desperate to have him inside me. Was this normal? Was it normal Calder filled me with so much heady desperation? I had no way to know—no comparison—no one I could ask other than Hailey who hadn't even been comfortable talking about it. But it felt too good not to let myself enjoy it. It felt too necessary not to lose myself in the sensations Calder brought. Would the gods have created our bodies to experience so much pleasure if they didn't mean for us to? I didn't think so. I couldn't imagine the gods were that cruel, not when we were expressing our love for each other this way. And I did—I loved him. I loved him to the depths of my soul.

I felt the soft tip of Calder's shaft at my opening and I spread my legs wider to accommodate his narrow hips. He pushed inside me and we both moaned. He threaded his fingers through mine and brought both of my arms up and over my head and put his mouth on mine, licking my tongue with his own as he thrust leisurely inside me.

He took his mouth from mine and whispered, "I'm going to take it slow this time. We're going to burn every stroke, every touch, and every kiss into our skin so when we're back together, it will only then just be cooling. While we're apart, we'll still be keeping each other warm." He smiled against my mouth and I breathed out a laugh.

"Mmm," I murmured.

I loved the way he was holding my arms hostage as he stroked into me. I was being held down, but it made me feel safe and protected, because it made me realize I trusted this man with everything in me. I trusted him with my body and my heart. I trusted him with my life. I felt precious, loved.

The pleasure built as Calder leaned his head to the side and I heard and felt his breath right at my ear as his body glided slowly in and out of me, and the hard muscles of his chest rubbed against my breasts. I brought my legs up around his hips and although I still felt tender inside, he glided in and out smoothly. I felt little bolts of pleasure each time his pelvis connected with mine.

"I love this. I love you, the feel of you, the smell of you, just you," Calder panted. I smiled. I loved how words started pouring out of him sometimes when we were physically intimate. It was another way he lost control and I loved it. I pressed up into him and sighed out blissfully.

Calder brought his mouth to mine, pressing the backs of my hands down into the blanket and kissed me deeply, our tongues swirling and dancing together. I submitted entirely, and although his movements were slow and languid, the intensity built inside me until I fell over the edge, crying out into the night as bright white pleasure streaked through me, causing me to arch up off the blanket, my abdomen meeting Calder's and my breasts pressing into his chest.

When I opened my eyes, Calder was gazing down at me, eyes heavy-lidded with passion, lips just slightly parted. I watched him as his lids fluttered closed and his expression became strained with barely controlled lust. Then his strokes sped up and he thrust into me several more times before he pulled out of me—the hot, sticky substance pouring out onto my belly again—his face looking almost pained, but beautifully so. He dropped his head into the crook of my neck, groaned, and then let go of one of my hands and took his shaft in his hand as he rubbed the head of it on my belly, sighing.

I let go of his other hand and brought my arms around his back, drawing my fingernails up his arms. He leaned up and smiled at me, his eyes still sleepy-looking and kissed my lips sweetly.

"You're the most beautiful man in the whole wide world," I said.

Calder grinned, nuzzling the skin at my neck.

"Just wait until we get out in the big community. You'll see what a troll I really am. There's not a lot of competition here."

I laughed as Calder rolled off me and gathered me to him. We were both still slightly damp from the water, and now we were sticky and sweaty again, but I didn't care. I'd lay with him in the mess of us all night long.

I leaned up and put my chin on his chest and shook my head. "Uh, uh. I remember very little about the big society, but what I do know is you're not a troll anywhere."

Calder smiled and stroked my hair. I bit my lip and looked out to the spring.

"What?" he asked.

"Well, what about clothes and stuff? People don't wear what we wear here."