Beauty and the Biker(11)

“I’m not. Well, not to Kansas City anyway. I have to report back to the Air Force. Scribe and Lucias are going back with Abe. I don’t think either have to go back out there. They all only had six months left on their contracts, and I know they planned to be done after those months were up. But with this happening and their team pretty fucked up, it’s a safe bet they’ll keep them stateside.”

“Thank you for everything,” I say, turning to look at her. I don’t know how I would have done it out here without her. Mac doesn’t say a lot, but she was a solid shoulder for me for the past few days

“No need to thank me. I’m doing what’s right, what’s right for him. He may not let you into that room, but he sure keeps asking where you are. And I’m guessing if someone didn’t have an answer, he might lose it again.”

“God, I just don’t get him right now. He’s so worried about me, but he’s causing me all kinds of pain. Doesn’t he get that?” I huff, frustration coloring my words.

“Julie, I like you, and I know my boy in that room loves you,” She nods to the doorway, her black hair brushing her shoulders. “He’s like a fucking brother to me. You have no idea what it was like to have to watch the bomb go off, and there wasn’t shit I could do about it. Fuck, I was a good thousand yards from them when it went off, and all I could do was sit and watch through the scope of my gun. I’ve never felt so powerless…” Her words trail off, but I can see the pain all over her face.

Taking a deep breath, she continues. “When you spend hours on missions with people, you learn a lot about them. I’m sure you know Abe didn’t have a great home life, that he’s been planning to make one with you, been counting down to it, and well…that literally just got blown to hell for him.”

I flinch at her reference. “But it doesn’t have to be this way—”

“I know that,” she says, cutting me off. “But he sure as shit doesn’t. These men are bull headed when they set their mind to something, and that’s just how it’s going to be.”

I know she’s right. I wanted Abe to marry me and make me his before he left, but he had something else in mind, and that was exactly what happened. He got his way.

“You telling me to walk away, Mac?” I ask around the lump in my throat.

“Yeah, I’m telling you to walk away. What you do when you walk is up to you, but I suggest you get yourself back to school. If he isn’t going to let you in, he isn’t going to let you in. Sitting outside his room isn’t doing anything but causing you both more pain. When he’s ready, he’ll come for you.”

“And if he never comes?”

“Then Abraham is gone. The man sitting in that room is no longer the man who left you six months ago, and to be honest, he might not be something you want.”

“I don’t care who’s in the room, I’ll take any piece of him I can get,” I plead with her, trying to get her to understand.

“I know you would, but that doesn’t mean he wants to give it.” She leans in closer to me. “He’ll come for you when he’s ready.”

I pray he does.





Chapter Eleven





SAVAGE





March 2012

“You hear from her?”

Lucias just shrugs his shoulders without answering me, continuing to flip through the channels on the tv.

It pisses me off that Julie calls him, but I haven’t heard anything recently about her calling. I should be happy she stopped, but I can’t keep from asking.

“Just answer the fucking question,” I snap at him, frustration getting the best of me.

“No, she hasn't, not since the last time you fucking snapped when she called me. She heard you, Savage, but what the fuck does it matter anyway? You're no good for her.” He continues flipping through the channels like we aren’t talking about the most important thing in my life.

His words sting, but it’s true. I can’t get mad at him for saying it.

“And don’t start that shit either. I don’t mean because you're a little uglier now, I mean because your ass won't get off this fucking couch and get your life together. You need to talk to someone about your nightmares and these serious anger issues you got going on. Maybe even start going to all these fucking doctors’ appointments you're supposed to, and I don't know, maybe stop with all the fucking pain pills and whiskey you shove down your goddamn throat.”

He throws the remote onto the coffee table, finally looking at me.

“You’re not the only one who lost something that day. Did you lose more? Fuck yeah, you did, but this person sitting on the couch next to me, I do not fucking know. It blows my mind you’d do this to that girl. You’re going to kick yourself in the ass for this one day. And have you forgotten your brothers need you? I need you. There’s so much shit going on around here with my father’s club, and I need you at my back. But you're just going to abandon us like this after everything? Are you still lying out there in that desert? I’m pretty sure I remember dragging your ass out of there, but from the looks of it, I’m not sure who the hell came back from that place.”