Beauty and the Biker(10)

The lights are dimmed down low, but I can see as she approaches the bed. I can feel her light touch through the bandage on my hand, but suddenly I feel her jerk away.

“Oh god, Abe.”

Flashes of the IED going off mix with my nightmares of Julie, and I get confused about what really happened that day. At the sound of her voice, memories and dreams start to bombard my mind. I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts, but all I see is fire and smoke, and all I hear is her screaming for me.

With my bandages distorting my view, she looks like an angel. My perfect, sweet, little angel. What a pair we would make now. With burns covering my body and the rage I feel coursing through me, I have to look pretty damn close to the devil himself. I wasn’t good enough for her before, but now I couldn’t even try to pretend.

“Get her out of here.” Silence falls across the room, and I try to breathe through the pain. It’s all coming in flashes now, and I’m afraid of what I might do. I can feel the anger rising in me, a rage that wants to burst free at all I’ve lost.

“Abe, calm down. It’s okay. You’re here and you're safe.”

“Lucias, I said get her the fuck out of here. Now.”

“Baby, don’t do this. I love you. I’m not going anywhere.” The soft plea in her voice wraps around my heart, but all I can feel is the anger consuming me, eating me alive.

When I turn to look at her, I can see she’s moved closer and I can make out more of her now. She looks like she’s been crying all night. She’s a mess, but still just as gorgeous as the last time I saw her, and I just want to take her in my arms and hold her. I want to tell her I love her, but I can’t. I’m too fucked up for her. She deserves better than what’s left of me. She needs more than pieces.

“I don’t want you here. Get out.”

I can see the pain visibly hit her, and it tears me apart inside.

She looks to Lucias, and he nods towards the door.

“Abe, sweetheart, please.”

“‘Sweetheart’, Julie? Do I look like someone's sweetheart?”

“You’re my sweetheart.”

Her words tug at me but it’s not what I want. I prefer the rage and anger. It’s easier to process right now. Gripping the bedside bar, I give one hard yank, ripping it right off the bed. I throw it at the wall next to Lucias, who doesn't even flinch. It makes a dent in the drywall before hitting the ground with a thud.

“Get her the fuck out!” I bellow, bringing two nurses rushing into the room.

Julie stares at me for a beat before she turns and walks out of the room without so much as a glance back, and I see Mac follow behind her. I look around and everything is blurry, but I can make out the shapes of Scribe and Lucias. Whatever the nurse just pushed into my IV must be working fast.

“You two, get the fuck out as well.”

Lucias walks closer to the bed, not listening to me. “I know you’re hurting, brother, so I’m going to let you have some space, but I’ll be outside that door for as long as you’re here, watching your back.”

“I don’t need your sympathy. Just get the fuck away from me. All of you.”

After a moment they exit the room.

I lie there, thinking about what happened to me as I feel the drugs kick in, and I drift off to sleep. The nightmare grips me instantly, only this time, Julie is the one holding the IED, and she’s coming for me. I see myself in her eyes as she sets off the blast, and I look like a monster.

A savage monster.





Chapter Ten





JULIE



I put my face in my hands, and I sob. I don’t think I’ve cried more in my life than I have in the past week. I’m not sure how I have any tears left to shed. Abe still refuses to see me. I should be thrilled that he’s going to make it, but his not wanting to see me is ripping me apart. It’s been five days, and each time he refuses to let me into the room, a little part of my heart dies.

I feel a warm hand rub circles on my back, and I know without looking who it is.

“They are sending him home today,” Mac says as she continues to rub my back. I’m thankful she’s here. She’s been with me most of my time here, just sitting outside in the hospital lobby. She even let me crash with her.

“He’s not going to let me see him, is he?” I ask, already knowing her answer. Oddly enough, she hasn’t told me I should leave, though. I think we all keep thinking that he’s going to give in and let me see him, but he hasn’t.

“Maybe it’s best you head back home. Maybe when you both get back to Kansas City, he’ll see how much of a dipshit he’s being.”

“When are you guys heading out?”