Beautifully Destroyed(4)

My eyes spring open and I’m in a cold sweat. Someone is shaking me and it causes me to scream even louder than I already was.

“Fate, it’s me, Cameron,” he says, trying to soothe me but this only causes my panic to escalate. It’s dark in my room. I must have nodded off and slept longer than I planned. I had forgotten to lock the door and turn the light on.

“Light, please,” I whisper between breaths. He quickly gets up and flicks the light on. He comes right back to sit on my bed with me. With the light turned on, I see he is just wearing a pair of pajama pants, leaving his whole chest bare. I finally get a chance to see his tattoo. It covers his heart and some of his shoulder. The words say ‘No Judgment’ surrounded by the intricate design. He was sleeping. Looking over at the clock, I see it is after midnight. I must have been exhausted to sleep that long. “I’m sorry I woke you,” I sputter.

“You were having a nightmare or something. I know you’re not supposed to wake someone, but you just sounded so scared,” he whispers to me like I will start screaming again any minute.

“Did I say anything?” Sometimes I don’t just scream, I can also talk during the episode. His eyes are boring into mine and I feel exposed.

“I didn’t notice anything, really. I just wanted to wake you.” Oh good, but I woke him still.

“I’m sorry, Cameron, I didn’t mean to wake you. You shouldn’t have to deal with this,” I say more to myself than him.

“Fate, I’m not sure what this was about. I don’t expect you to tell me. You just met me but don’t think everyone is all roses. We’ve all got stuff that screws with us. Life’s price.” His words are comforting but my mind is somewhere else. Something he said brings me back. Back there. To my nightmare.

“Don’t, please,” I beg as I pull away, but it’s no use. It never is.

“This is the price of the life we live,” he says.

“Fate…” His voice pulls me from my memory and his voice soothes my rapid breath. “I lost you for a minute there.”

“Sorry, I spaced out,” I say, trying to brush it off. “Thank you, Cameron. I will make sure this doesn’t happen again. You didn’t ask for a roommate with these issues,” I say without thinking.

“Stop.” I shrink away. He goes to lay his hand on mine, but I quickly pull away. “Sorry. Just don’t, okay? Don’t be sorry for something you’re not doing on purpose. Save the ‘sorry’ for when it’s something in your control. That’s what I had to learn to do.” Maybe, just maybe this won’t be as bad as I thought. He could be going to the residence committee saying I’m crazy and a problem. But he seems to understand. However, that doesn’t mean I’m going to let him touch me.

“Thank you, Cameron. I won’t bother you again.” He gives me a look almost as if he’s saying, ‘really, Fate, I thought we covered this.’ “Sorry.” He smirks but still gives the same look. “Ah. Ya. Well, this was fun. You should get some sleep,” I say, hoping to get him out of here. This is my safe zone. He gets the hint and rises. Turning to the door to leave, he stops with his hand on the doorknob and looks back at me.

“Fate, we all have a fucked-up past or a screwed-up life. Don’t let it define you.” He gives me a small smile. “Give Fate a new definition.” He grins and slowly closes the door as he leaves.

A new definition for Fate? As in me or fate itself.





Chapter Three





Day one of classes seemed to go fine. No one bothered with me, which could be both good and bad. Everyone was just talking about classes and who’s who. Nothing but small talk, which is, unfortunately, something I don’t do well. As I walk into residency, I see Cameron standing there with a group of girls around him. They all seem to be gushing and he’s enjoying the attention. Of course he is, he’s normal. I can’t stand when the attention is on me. Quickly, I make my way around them, hoping he doesn’t catch me.

Maybe I can get out of dinner tonight. I am so tired I need to take a nap. Looking back, I see him watching me, ignoring the girls who are obviously trying to get him to pay attention to them. They all have skin showing all over the place. Not me. I hide as much as possible. Less chance to be touched or at least when it happens it isn’t skin to skin. Once I’m inside our apartment, I feel like I got home free without getting tagged. I walk over to my room and there is a note posted on my door. Taking it off the door carefully, I see that it is from Cameron.