Chapter One
June, 1992
“I wish you could understand, Steph,” Paula sobbed.
Some of her tears fell on the paper that rested on her knees—Steph’s acceptance letter from UC Berkeley. Steph resisted the urge to yank the key to her future out of Paula’s hands. She knew Paula needed time to accept what was happening—that after ten years as inseparable best friends, she would be leaving their hometown of Eugene, Oregon, and moving to California for college.
They’d situated themselves behind the large rock that according to Steph’s father, divided her parents’ property from the adjoining woods. She was rather certain they owned all of the land that stretched to the road and cut through the base of Spencer Butte, but her father had declared the rock as her personal boundary when she was five. She’d always yearned to explore the thicket of trees that grew southward, but that youthful curiosity disappeared when she was old enough to see over the rock and recognize its beauty and its potential as a privacy barrier between her and her parents.
She and Paula had no desire to venture beyond the backside of the rock, which proved to be a perfect place for private talks, smoking their first cigarettes and drinking Scotch—both of which sent them flying into the woods to vomit. Recently they’d spent much of their free time hiding behind the impenetrable granite curtain touching each other in delightful ways.
Most importantly it was a fabulous hiding place from Steph’s mother, who refused to journey past the redwood deck. Steph always knew she was safe up the little hill since her mother would never venture that far from the liquor cabinet.
Paula sniffled and Steph sneaked a glimpse at her watch. It was after five. She peered down the hill toward the back door. It was still closed. That’s good. Mom’s still watching TV, probably Donahue.
She gazed at Paula’s dejected face. She’d been put on the Berkeley waiting list last winter and had nearly given up hope of acceptance—until a letter arrived two days after graduation. She’d dreamed of becoming a Golden Bear since her freshman year of high school, convinced it was the perfect place for a pre-med student. She was euphoric but it had taken her a week to summon the courage to tell Paula, and after an hour of crying, Paula still couldn’t accept what was happening.
She checked the back door again. Still closed.
“Paula, I don’t understand why you’re all worked up. I know I’m leaving but San Francisco isn’t that far. We’ll call and write.”
She squeezed Paula’s hand and her sobs faded away. They’d held hands for years but Steph knew that any touch now had lost its innocence, replaced by a desire that crept up on both of them like a virus infecting their bodies.
Much of Paula’s profile was obscured by her long chestnut-brown hair, but it was impossible to miss the incredible eyelashes she constantly fluttered and the full mouth that readily met Steph’s whenever they were alone.
“I know we’ll keep in touch but I just can’t believe you’re leaving.”
“Yeah, but you’ll still have Emilio to hang out with,” she added, referring to their other best friend.
Paula scowled and she blushed. It was an insensitive comment. “Sorry,” she said quietly.
Paula’s face softened and she stroked Steph’s hand with her thumb. Steph closed her eyes, enjoying the connection. She’d secretly admitted that she savored Paula’s caresses and her touch could make her shiver as if she were standing naked in an Oregon downpour. Although they’d known each other for a decade, it was only in the last three months that they’d tiptoed across the line of friendship into a place that scared Steph to death.
But she wouldn’t think about it—couldn’t think about it, even as Paula’s lips found the curve of her jaw and traced it with butterfly kisses. Steph melted under the delicate gesture. Paula giggled as her lips continued their journey to Steph’s mouth. Paula pressed her against the rock, unbuttoning her shirt and fondling her breasts. Steph knew what came next. Paula pulled off her T-shirt and unhooked her bra. She was consumed by Paula’s determined tongue buried deep in her mouth, and it wasn’t until Paula’s nipples pressed against her own that she realized they were half naked.
Paula kissed her completely, as if she were leaving for California in just a few moments. When Paula unbuttoned her shorts, she didn’t pull away as she had in the past. Paula’s tongue was too persuasive and she pulled Steph’s yearning to the surface. Her hand crept between Steph’s legs and rested on her mound.
“More,” Paula whispered, breaking the kiss and shattering Steph’s lust.