Ballad:Rockstar 05(10)

"I'm sure he's not the only one on those buses that hasn't shared everything."

"No, he's definitely not, but the rest of them don't try to be  completely the opposite of how they feel. Of the guys, the one who's  been the most honest and open with me is the one who's the quietest  around everyone else."

"Kennedy? No way."

I nod. "He's like a big brother to me, taking me under his wing so to  speak and helping me through things when I first got here and I had no  idea what they expected of me-not that he knew either. He just told me  it was okay not to know and not to worry about it or be embarrassed.  That the answers would come."

"And did they?"

"Yeah. If I could pick my family, Kennedy would be in it."

"Don't you know that family isn't always blood? Family is where you make it."

"Like Justin and the guys are your family?"

"Exactly like that." He nuzzles his nose in my neck and I sigh.

"No time for fucking this morning," Justin says through the door. "We've got soundboards to fix Nikki."

"Ugh. Don't call me that. I hate that nickname," I tell him.

Lucian chuckles and I hear Justin doing the same. I can almost see his  smile through the door. Those white teeth, short blonde hair,  hazel-green eyes that know way too much, those full lips, and a body  full of tattoos.

I flop back.

"Get a move on, Nikki." At my growl he laughs. "You never shoulda told  me you hate that nickname. From now on you're gonna be Nikki," Justin  taunts.         

     



 

"Lovely."

Lucian leans up on one elbow and looks down at me.

"What?"

"Are you okay with what happened last night?" he asks.

"Yeah, why?"

"I don't know. I just know you were thinking there for a little bit and I  was hoping those sighs you were letting out weren't sighs of regret."  He reaches up and straightens my scarf.

"Thanks. And no. They weren't sighs of regret." I can't tell him  everything. He'll see me as a little kid and that's the last thing I  want him-or anyone-to think of me.

"Then what were they, Nicole? Talk to me."

I recognize the stubborn look in his eye. It reminds me of my Uncle Frank when he wouldn't settle for less than the truth.

"Fine. I'm a little ashamed of myself."

"What the fuck?" Justin says through the door, then the door opens and I  squeal, pulling the sheet up. He laughs. "You're already covered."

I look down. Oh, yeah. Lucian put his t-shirt back on me when I caught a chill last night.

"What the fuck is this 'ashamed' bullshit?" he asks.

"Justin," Lucian warns.

"What?" he asks.

"Maybe this is a private conversation," Lucian tells him.

"Dude, there are no private conversations on this bus. So, let's hear it," he says, leaning back against the doorjamb.

"Oh God. Seriously?" I ask, then scrub my hands over my face. "Okay. While it seems like longer, I just met Lucian yesterday."

"So?" they both say at the same time.

"So, I don't do things like that," I admit with a blush.

"You didn't do anything to be ashamed of. You're both adults …  consenting  adults. You didn't even fuck. People do a hell of a lot more than that  when they haven't even spoken two words to each other," Justin tells me.

"Like you, you mean?" I ask.

"Like me. Like Lucian used to be. No names, no strings. Just a quick lay and then it's hasta la vista, baby."

"Dear God. He quoted Arnold," comes from the other side of the door. Great. They all know everything now.

I blow out a breath.

"Why'd you do it?" Lucian asks.

"Do what?"

"Fuck around with me."

"I wanted to. I like you. I'm attracted to you, and when you kiss me … " I shrug. "It feels good," I confess.

He nods. "Then there's nothing to be ashamed of. You're a woman and you  have a right to do what feels good. I don't know why sex is so taboo in  America. It's all over TV and shit but people are prudes. You, baby, are  anything but."

I nod. "I went to a catholic school when I was little."

"Well that fucking explains it all," a man says walking in the room. I recognize him as Gage, one of the brothers.

I laugh. "Slumber party?"

"Hardly," Lucian says drolly.

"Nikki, get your ass up and let's get working on those boards. Show me what you've got," Justin challenges.

"Fine. I need to go shower and change clothes. I'll meet you there in forty-five minutes."

"Perfect. "

"Now get out and close the door so I can get dressed, you pervs," I tease and they groan and grumble while they laugh.

Lucian looks at me, then without warning presses his lips to mine. It's a lingering kiss, but not too long.

"Where have you been all my life?" he asks. I don't think he meant to  say that out loud. He shakes his head and grins. "Get dressed before I  get you undressed."

I laugh then do as I'm told.



I'm walking over to one of the FD buses and a wave of dizziness strikes  me unexpectedly and I lean out to rest against the bus and steady  myself. With the dizziness comes nausea and I know the drill. I press my  forehead against the bus and breathe in through my nose and out through  my mouth, slow and steady.

"I don't know what you fucking want me to do? I've done everything but  strip myself naked and rape the guys," I hear someone bite out angrily. I  know that voice.

"I've tried that," the voice whisper-yells. "No. I can't. There's no  possible way to get any of them alone." Pause. A feminine growl of  frustration. "Whatever they are paying you, it ain't enough." Pause.  "Well, you tell those Manzinis if I'm able to get this done, I want an  extra ten grand for myself. None of you get a single fucking penny of  that, you get me?"

I raise my brows. Manzinis. Traitor.

"No. She's never alone, I told you that. There is always security  surrounding little Miss Lucy and the Kingston spawn she's carrying."

She's so fucking dead. The mention of the Manzinis was bad enough but  now talking about getting close to Lucy? That shit isn't gonna happen  and I know just the person to talk to to make sure of it.         

     



 



The nausea passed and I'm stepping up into the bus when the entire room  goes quiet, then chaos erupts as everyone starts throwing questions my  way.

"Where were you all night?"

"Did you bang Lucian?"

"Are you all right?"

Questions are thrown at me and I dodge and weave, avoiding them, and head straight to Sera.

"Sera, can I talk to you in private?" I ask.

Xander makes some lewd noises. "Going to get some pointers?"

"Shut the fuck up, Xander," Kennedy chides, watching me with narrowed  eyes, knowing eyes, worried eyes. I give him a wink and his expression  softens a bit, but he knows. He knows there's something. Hell, with what  happened with Lucian, the dizziness, and now this …  there's a whole lot  of something.

Sera eyes me. "Sure. Let's take a walk."

Just as we're stepping off the bus, Misty steps on. I keep my expression  blank and murmur a greeting. When we're a good distance away from the  bus, Sera stops and turns to me.

"What happened?"

And I tell her.





Chapter 6


Sera



When Coley told me what went down, it was all I could do not to go in  there and put a bullet between her eyes, but I know that's not how it  needs to be handled.

I tip my head back, wanting to scream in anger and frustration, but I  just let out a breath trying to calm myself. Cage showed me a technique  of breathing and mentally relaxing the muscles that tense up. I use it  now and it, surprisingly, works. Don't get me wrong, I'm pissed off as  hell and ready to cut a bitch, but this way I can just breathe through  it and find Cage.

"You did the right thing, Coley, by coming to me," I reassure her.

"I knew I needed to talk to you about it, since you and Cage were the ones who filled me in when I got here."

I nod my approval. "You did good. Now, let's go back to the bus and pretend nothing's happened. For now."

She nods. "What are you going to do?"

I shrug a shoulder as we head back toward the bus. "Talk it over with  Cage and Gampy Giovanni. The decisions ultimately come from them."

Coley nods. "I don't want anything to happen to Lucy or the babies."

"Nothing will," I assure her, and I mean it. Every fucking word. No one will hurt my sister or her children. No one.

"I don't know what she meant about getting naked in front of the guys," Coley tells me.

"That's all right," I tell her, putting an arm around her shoulders.  "We'll figure it out. Keep your ears open but don't make it obvious. Can  you do that?" I ask.

"I can do that."

"Good. Now, tell me that Lucian Cordero is a magnificent lay and I'll  let you back on the bus," I tell her, blocking her way. Coley laughs.