Atonement (The Protectors #6)(20)

Decision made, I reached for my phone and pulled up the text app.

Sorry to bother you, but I need to talk to you about something. Not Matty  –  he's fine. No rush.

I hit send and put the phone down. It would be hours before my message would even be seen, so I tried to focus on the TV. But within a few seconds, my phone was ringing. I smiled when I saw Hawke's name pop up.

"I told you not to rush," I said when I answered the phone. "Isn't it like five in the morning there?"

Hawke chuckled. "No idea … let's just say Tate and I haven't paid much attention to anything outside our room. The world could have ended and we wouldn't know it."

I smiled to myself.

"We're hoping to do some exploring today," Hawke continued. "But who knows … we said the same thing yesterday."

I felt a pang of envy go through me. What would that feel like? To be so consumed by another person that nothing else besides them existed?

"What's going on? Everything okay?" Hawke asked.

I hesitated as the realization of what I was about to admit to really hit me. It was quickly followed by fear.

"I shouldn't have bothered you on your honeymoon," I said softly. "It can wait till you get back."

There were several beats of silence on the other end of the phone before Hawke said, "You remember what you asked me the day of the wedding … just before the ceremony?"

I nodded even though I knew he couldn't see me. "I asked if I could walk with you down the aisle."

It had been my way of showing Hawke what he and Tate meant to me … beyond just being incredible parents to my grandson. They were my family, pure and simple. They knew it. I knew it.

"Talk to me, Magnus," Hawke said gently.



       
         
       
        

I got up and turned off the TV before heading towards the stairs. The things I needed to say were better done in the safety of my bedroom. As soon as the door clicked shut behind me, I began talking.



* * *

My fingers were shaking so bad as I reached for the doorknob, I actually needed to step back from my bedroom door to try and get a hold of myself. I'd escaped to my room with the excuse of needing to use the bathroom, but what I'd really needed to do was escape the dozen or so people downstairs for just a few minutes. I knew I was supposed to be playing host to the people who'd come to mourn my daughter's passing, but all their well-wishes and kind comments about how much Jenna would be missed were making me want to hit something. Not because any of the people in attendance were being disrespectful or anything  –  I just couldn't get past the fact that they really hadn't known my child and they would forget her after this day. They'd walk out my front door and back to their lives and Jenna wouldn't be anything but a distant memory to them. With the exception of Rachel, they wouldn't fight to keep Jenna's memory alive. They weren't the ones wishing with every fiber of their being that she'd walk through that front door any moment now and say it had all been some colossal mistake and she was just fine.

Fuck. I just needed to get this over with.

I opened the door and was immediately greeted with the low murmurs of the people downstairs. I fiddled with my tie as I forced myself to walk down the stairs. I was immediately greeted with sad smiles, but I ignored them and began searching for Dante.

"Mr. DuCane, I was so terribly saddened to hear about Jenna," a woman at the bottom of the stairs said as I reached the last step and I couldn't help but feel like she'd been lying in wait for me. It took me a moment to recognize her as one of Jenna's teachers from the school I'd had to transfer Jenna to after the bullying had become too much for her at her old school. I'd invited her because, despite all the problems my daughter had had at school, she'd always had nice things to say about Jenna during the many parent-teacher meetings I'd had with her. She took my hand in both of hers and held on to it as she began telling me how smart and sweet my girl had been. I only half-listened because I knew most of what she was saying wasn't true since by the end, Jenna had been skipping classes left and right and had been failing all but two of her classes. My gaze searched the small group of people for Dante.

"Thank you for coming, Mrs. Littleton," I managed to say to the woman once she finally stopped talking, though in truth, I hadn't heard anything she'd said near the end because I'd managed to locate Dante and my entire focus was on him. He was standing on the far side of the living room near the hallway that led to the den where he'd been sleeping. His back was to me, but I could see he wasn't alone. 

White hot anger went through me as I watched the woman he was with  –  the same woman I'd once planned to spend the rest of my life with  –  put her hand on Dante's arm as she said something to him. Her back was against the wall and I saw her occasionally dash at her eyes as she kept her expression solemn as she spoke. Her hand was now stroking up and down Dante's arm and I had to fight every instinct telling me to go over to them and rip it off him. Someone else stopped me to give their condolences, but I had no idea who it was or what they said because I only had eyes for Dante and Mel, who'd straightened and closed what little distance there had been between them. Dante's arms went around her and I actually had to turn away for a moment. By the time I looked back at them, they'd separated and Mel had spotted me.

I took a deep breath as she pushed past Dante and headed my way. It was almost comical how people got out of her way. Her face twisted into an ugly mask of rage when she reached me and I didn't bother to attempt to deflect her palm before it cracked against my cheek. A collective gasp went through the small crowd.

"Where is he?" Mel shouted as she reached up to slap me again. Since I'd barely felt the first slap, I didn't try to stop the next one either, but Dante grabbed her by the wrist before she could hit me again. "Where's my grandson?" she screamed, her voice so shrill I was sure it could break glass.

"What are you doing here, Mel?" I asked quietly, not caring that we were going to do this in front of an audience. I didn't give a shit about anything anymore. I was done.

"I came to say goodbye to my daughter, you bastard! And to take my grandson home!"

I couldn't stop the bubble of laughter that burst from my throat. "Are you fucking serious right now?"

Her green eyes flashing with hate, Mel straightened and I saw a mask of despair fall over her face. But I knew it for what it was because I knew all her ploys. She'd been using them on me for years before I'd wised up.

Big fat crocodile tears began sliding down her face as she whispered, "You can't keep him from me. Not after what you did to Jenna."

I was moving before I even realized it, but luckily Dante stepped in front of me, his hand coming to rest on my chest as he softly said, "Don't." His fingertips gently pressed into my shirt and the move somehow grounded me. I'd never laid a hand on Mel in the years we'd been together, no matter how many times she'd lashed out at me verbally or physically, but I'd been about to break that rule.

I locked eyes with Mel and said, "Get out."

"No! Where's Matthew?"

The woman actually began calling Matty's name as if she expected him to come running to her. "You really want to do this here, Mel?" I asked when she finished her pathetic wailing. By now, we had everyone's undivided attention and I knew the events of today would be all over town before the sun set.

"My daughter is dead because of you. I won't let you take my grandson from me too."

Fury rolled through me, but I managed to not reach for her like I wanted. "When's his birthday, Mel?"

"Wh … What?" Mel stammered.

"When is your precious grandson's birthday?" I repeated.

"I … it's … " Mel glanced around the room as if expecting someone to help her answer the question.

"What's Matthew's middle name?"

More silence. "I'll give you a hint. It was my grandfather's name." When Mel didn't respond, I said, "Come on Mel, we were married for seven years. Surely you know my grandfather's name?"



       
         
       
        

I'd driven through the small town of Blakely, but hadn't seen any sign of him there either. When I'd finally realized his likely destination, I'd wanted to kick myself. And sure enough, as I'd driven past the gates of the cemetery a few miles outside town, I'd seen both of Magnus's horses standing near the site Magnus had picked for his daughter's grave. And sitting right in front of the headstone, bottle of scotch in hand, had been my quarry. The relief I'd felt had been so overwhelming that I'd had to sit in the car for a couple of minutes to let the adrenaline rush wear off. My first instinct had been to yell at the man for being such a fucking asshole and scaring the ever-loving shit out of me. My second instinct had been to kiss him until all the ugliness of the day was left far behind us and the only thing he saw was me.

I settled for instinct number three which was somewhere in between. I crouched down so I was at Magnus's level and took the bottle from him. His bleary eyes tracked the bottle until his gaze fell on my face. A small smile spread across his mouth. "Dante," he murmured. "Knew you'd come." His words weren't exactly slurred, but it seemed to take him a while to get them out.