Atonement (The Protectors #6)(17)

I'd fucked up today.

Big time.

I'd allowed Magnus to see too much … and all because I'd been so desperate to believe the guy might have even the tiniest shard of respect for me.

"What did you think of Colton?" Magnus asked.

Simply put? I thought the guy was a douche. But I didn't really have a good reason as to why I thought that … it was just a feeling. That or the fact that Magnus was like a whole different guy around the man. Smiling, laughing, reminiscing. I hadn't even tasted the huge steak Magnus had grilled for me because I'd just wanted to get done and get away from the guys. I'd done a wider perimeter check to explore all the different possible access points on the property as night had fallen while Magnus and Colton had sat around chatting and drinking beers.

"Totally fuckable," I said, hoping the comment would get Magnus off my back. 

When Magnus didn't respond, I glanced over my shoulder and saw him looking at me. But he didn't look pissed. He just looked … hell, I didn't know what to make of the expression in his gaze. It looked a lot like pity, but if that were the case, I'd really lose my shit. I finished the last window and then said, "I need to go upstairs and make sure all the windows are secure." I risked shifting my eyes to Magnus. The last time I'd been upstairs hadn't turned out so well.

But Magnus merely nodded. I hurried up the stairs and went to Jenna's room. I didn't linger as I checked the windows and then moved on to the room I could only assume had been Matty's when he'd lived here. The last room to check was Magnus's. I ignored the huge bed and tested all the windows plus those in the bathroom. It was clear Magnus had been a bachelor for a while because there was nothing feminine about his room. It was nicely decorated, but more along the lines of comfort and function rather than fashion. Besides the bed, there was a tall dresser and a walk-in closet. No pictures hung on the wall, though the nails sticking out of the drywall proved there had been some at one time. The paint was a soft gray and the floor was a gorgeous walnut colored hardwood.

The bathroom was huge with a walk-in shower big enough to fit two  –  a fact that was causing a whole host of images to go through my head  –  and there was a jetted tub in the corner. His and hers sinks took up one wall, but only one sink looked like it was being used, leaving me to wonder how many women had ever used the other sink. I hadn't seen Magnus with any women in Seattle, but he'd been pretty preoccupied with Matty's illness, so I doubted dating had been at the top of his list of priorities. I had seen him dancing at Tate and Hawke's wedding, but his partners had all been married women from the huge Barretti family. Even knowing those dances had just been for fun, I'd felt the ugly shimmer of jealousy in every cell in my body. My solution had been to drink and pursue the cute catering guy … actions that had had ugly consequences and just solidified Magnus's low opinion of me.

I double-checked the windows in the bathroom and then headed back into the bedroom, but paused when I saw Magnus leaning against the doorframe. His big body was blocking most of the space, meaning it would be a tight fit if I tried to get past him. On any other day, that would have been a good thing, but right now I was just too on edge.

God, he really was beautiful. With his white Henley shirt that outlined every muscle on his broad chest and his snug jeans that hinted at thick thighs and nearly perfectly shaped ass, he looked like he should be in some catalogue showing off the clothes while sitting in an oversized armchair by a fire with a cup of coffee in his hand. I ached to test the softness of his dark hair that was generously threaded with silver. I knew within a couple of years, he'd have that salt and pepper thing going on and it would only make him even more gorgeous.

I moved towards him, fully expecting him to get out of my way, but when he didn't move, I slowed my pace until I was forced to stop just a foot from him. "Did you need to get in here?" I asked, motioning to the room.

"Everything secure?" Magnus asked, ignoring my question. I felt my cock thicken in my jeans when his eyes briefly traveled up and down my body. With any other guy, I would have considered him to be checking me out, but with Magnus I knew better.

"All good," I said and then stepped a little closer, hoping he'd get the hint and move.

He didn't. And worse, being so close to him had me smelling whatever cologne or aftershave he was wearing … along with the intriguing scent of the man himself.

"What didn't you like about Colton?" Magnus asked.

The question caught me off guard, but I forced myself to focus. No way was I getting into it again with Magnus … not when I felt like I was going to bust apart at the seams like I nearly had earlier in the kitchen before Rachel had arrived. I could still feel the heat of Magnus's fingers where he'd held on to my arms. My skin tingled at the memory of his callused hand brushing my hair back out of my eyes. As angry as I'd been, I'd wanted him to thread his fingers in my hair, get a good, strong grip that I wouldn't have been able to escape from … all so that he could kiss me however he wanted.



       
         
       
        

Which made no sense because kissing wasn't my thing.

Not anymore.

"Like I said, totally fuckable," I responded as casually as I could. In truth, Colton was a good-looking guy. Nearly as tall as Magnus with dark brown hair and a rangy body that could only have come from working the land. He'd had a much more pronounced Texas drawl than Magnus, but he'd been polite and friendly, unlike that prick Jeff from Magnus's office. To Colton's credit, he hadn't asked a lot of questions when Magnus had introduced me as a friend who'd come down from Seattle to help him move.

Magnus let out a brief sigh, but didn't say anything. I expected him to finally step aside and let me pass, but he surprised me when he straightened and then stepped even closer to me. My back was against the door which opened inwards towards the bedroom, so I was effectively trapped. Yeah, I could have easily escaped if I'd wanted to, because unlike in the kitchen, Magnus wasn't touching me. But it would have looked like I was retreating and I sure as hell wasn't going to let him see just how much his presence was really affecting me … not when we were no longer on even footing.

"Dante," he said softly, his voice washing over me like an intimate caress. His head tilted just a little bit as if he was trying to find something in my expression. "Tell me how to fix this."

Anxiety tore through me as I realized he was taking us right back to this afternoon before Rachel had shown up.

No. No fucking way.

I made a move to push past him, but his hand settled on my upper arm, gently holding me in place. "I need to go call Memphis to give him a status report," I managed to get out, though my voice sounded uneven and shaky.

But Magnus didn't release me, and to my shock, he stepped even closer so that we were practically nose to nose. It would have taken very little effort to brush my mouth over his. I shifted my hips back just a little to make sure he wouldn't feel my growing erection, though I wasn't sure why I cared since that was a surefire way to put an end to this conversation.

"I swear on Matty's life," he began, his voice fierce. "What happened in Ronan's office the day of the wedding wasn't about you … not about your skills anyway."

Heat and need were making it hard for me to think clearly and I had trouble focusing on the words he was saying. I just needed to taste him so fucking bad, my feelings about kissing be damned. But what he said was finally registering in my addled brain and I forced myself to settle my gaze on his eyes instead of his tempting mouth. But before I could respond, he continued.

"I've been taking care of myself since I was ten years old. As a cop, I've been shot at, knifed, and threatened with death on a pretty regular basis and I'm still here. So, you can imagine what it was like to walk into that room and have someone tell me I needed a keeper." 

"That's not what Ronan and Memphis were saying … they were just worried about you."

"That's something else I don't have a lot of experience with," Magnus said softly. I struggled to ignore the pleasant sensation traveling up my arm where he was holding on to me. "Truth?" Magnus asked.

I nodded.

"I like knowing someone has my back." He paused for a beat and then his voice dropped even lower. "And I like knowing it's you."

I didn't even know how to process that. I so badly wanted to believe him, but it made no sense. He hated my guts. I hated his.

Except I didn't. I hated how he made me feel, but I didn't hate him. Far from it.

Since I had no idea what to say, I settled for, "He has trouble looking you in the eye." At Magnus's confused look, I said, "Colton … when you talk about certain things, he doesn't look you in the eye. Like when you told him how much you appreciated his wife's help."

I expected Magnus to defend his friend, to argue with me and tell me I was mistaken, but he merely nodded.

"I don't think he's a threat to you," I clarified. "I just think he's keeping something from you."

"Thank you," Magnus responded softly. We both hung there for a moment, our bodies perfectly lined up, the air around us rife with tense silence. If he'd been any other man, I would have pressed my advantage. But I was still reeling from his admission about him liking that I was watching his back.