As Sure as the Dawn(38)
Rizpah relaxed slightly watching the apostle with her son. Contrary to Atretes’ manner, John was perfectly at ease with a baby. She came back and sat on the couch, smiling as she watched. The apostle sat and laid the boy in his lap, Caleb’s feet against his stomach. John took his ankles and pumped his legs playfully. Gurgling, Caleb waved his hands happily.
“What is more beautiful than the innocence of a child?” John said, smiling down at Caleb. “I remember how children flocked around Jesus as we traveled through townships.” He shook his head. “At first, we’d try to shoo them away, thinking of them as no more than a swarm of pesky flies,” he said with a soft laugh, “and Jesus would gather them to him and bless them one by one. He told us unless we become like children, we will not enter the kingdom of heaven.”
Rizpah smiled tenderly. “Humble and helpless.”
“And completely open to the love and truth of God,” John added, smiling. He glanced up at Cleopas and the servant came and took Caleb, then went to sit on another couch near Rizpah and laid the baby on his lap. He dangled a knotted cord and Caleb tried to capture it.
“It’s fear for Caleb that brought me to you,” Rizpah said. “A man named Sertes is going to great lengths to force Atretes to fight again. If he should find out Caleb is Atretes’ son, Sertes wouldn’t hesitate to use even a baby to gain what he wants. I’d hide him if I could, but Atretes would never allow me to take him away on a permanent basis.”
“How can we help you?”
“Atretes needs help in leaving Ephesus. But now that I’ve come, I’m not sure you should become involved. Sertes is very powerful.”
“More powerful than God?”
Rizpah let out her breath softly and closed her eyes. “No,” she said softly. She looked at him again, somewhat embarrassed at her lack of faith. “I’m weak, John. Over the past weeks, away from your teaching and my brothers and sisters, I’ve slipped repeatedly. Living with Atretes is . . . difficult.” How could she explain to a man like John how Atretes affected her? “He trusts no one. Me, least of all.”
“Yet he allowed you to come to me.”
“Because he saw no other way to gain the information and help he needs to leave Ionia. I don’t mean to criticize him, John. It’s just that he’s led such a hard, violent life. He’s so full of hatred I can feel the heat of it. Because he was betrayed by one woman, he assumes every other is untrustworthy.”
“He allowed you to bring Caleb with you.”
She rose, agitated. “Had Atretes breasts to feed Caleb, he would’ve yanked him from my arms and thrown me out the gate the first day!”
Cleopas rose. “I believe this little one needs to be bathed.”
Rizpah glanced at him, embarrassed by her outburst. “I don’t have any fresh linen with me,” she said in apology.
He smiled. “We have some cloth that will do.”
Rizpah knew he was giving her the opportunity to speak with John alone. “Thank you, Cleopas,” she said softly. Nodding, he left the room with Caleb.
She looked at John. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I always speak before I think better of it.” So many thoughts rushed through her head.
“You’re not alone in having a tongue of fire, Rizpah.” His mouth tipped. “Jesus called me and James Boanerges. Sons of Thunder.”
She laughed. “You? Well, perhaps there’s hope for me after all.”
“You’ve given your life to Christ, and rest assured, he will mold and make you into the vessel best designed to his purposes.”
“Yes, but I wish I knew what that purpose was.”
“You do know. God’s will isn’t hidden away like the myths and philosophies and knowledge of the world. Jesus told us openly and daily what his will for us is. Love one another. Love one another.”
“But how? You can’t even imagine the kind of man Atretes is.”
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. In God we live and move and have our being. In God, we can love one another.”
She nodded. It would take God to overcome her trepidation where Atretes was concerned. It would take God to protect her from the forces she felt moving around him.
“Jesus also told us to go and make disciples of all the nations,” John said, “baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that he commanded us.”
“Oh, John,” she said and closed her eyes. And so I must go to Germania, Lord? I must make Atretes a disciple? How?