All or Nothing at All(69)

Cal frowned. "I didn't know you came back," he said. "What happened?"

He lifted his head and gazed at his brothers. His heart felt like a barren wasteland where nothing would ever grow again. "She was having a wedding dress fitting and I asked her again to come with me. She told me she was getting married and had built her own life. And she never told me about her pregnancy."

Dalton shook his head. "I can't believe this. It just doesn't sound like something Sydney would do. Why? What was going on with you two?"

The past surged up with all the memories. The times he'd pushed her away. The statements he'd made to her about feeling trapped in Harrington. The subtle way he'd insulted the life she said she wanted, hoping to push her to want more, be more, go explore the world. His refusal to say he loved her. "We had different views of our lives back then," he said shortly. No way was he going to feel guilty or excuse her lies.




 

 

"I can never forgive her." He stated the words with certainty. "But I have to make a decision about Becca. How we move forward. I want to be with my daughter. I deserve the time to make up for what I lost."

"You can share custody," Dalton suggested. "Work out a schedule."

"So I can grab small chunks of time like a part-time father?" he said bitterly. "No. I want more than that."

"When are you going to tell her?" Cal asked.

"I don't know. I left to get my head on straight. She doesn't deserve me flipping out when I need to be the role model. I don't know how she's going to react."

Cal stopped pacing and gave him a hard look. "She's going to wonder how she got so lucky."

"Maybe not. We were never as close as you guys were," he pointed out. "It's just recently I began to get to know her. She may not really like me. May not want me as her father."

"Shut the hell up," Dalton practically shouted. "Dude, you're going to be the best father. Look at who we lived with our whole lives. If it wasn't for Mom, we'd all be walking disasters. Becca has both you and Sydney, and she's going to recognize how lucky she is the moment you tell her."

His raw nerves were soothed a bit. Cal and Dalton were brutal with their honesty. If they believed he'd be a good father, he might actually be. The idea of Becca looking at him with disappointment haunted him. He pushed the image out of his mind and tried to concentrate on the bigger plan.

"Either way, you're going to have to eventually make peace with Sydney," Cal said. "I'm afraid when I tell Morgan, she'll lose it. She's very protective of you, and keeping such a secret is going to hit her hard."

Dalton nodded. "Same thing with Raven. Our women are quite like mama bears when it comes to us."

"I know." The memory of sinking to his knees to pleasure the woman he was falling for again shook him to the core. Damn her. "She's Becca's mother, and no matter how I feel about her now, I need to give her respect. Becca will be confused enough without me trying to blame her mother."

"You need some time to work through this," Cal said quietly. "You can't expect to know everything in a few hours."

His brother might be right, but Tristan already knew he wanted something bigger than stolen hours or weekends. He wanted to offer Becca a real family-one she deserved. And there was only one way to get there, whether he liked the scenario or not.

If he went through with the plan slowly blossoming in his mind, there would be consequences. His life would never be the same, but then again, the truth had ripped away any foundation he'd ever had. He had to begin thinking like a father and do the best he could for Becca. 

Sydney wouldn't see it his way.

She'd fight him. She'd refuse. She'd threaten. She'd rant and rave and cry and push back.

But she was going to lose, because Tristan decided there was no other way, and nothing would keep him away from his daughter again.

Nothing and no one.

"You have a funny look on your face," Dalton said. "What do you want to do?"

"I need to close my eyes and rest a bit," he managed. He laid his pounding head against the leather cushions. "I think I've decided what I'm going to do."

His brothers didn't push him any further. Just shared a glance, then nodded. "Do you need to be alone or can we hang out with you?" Cal asked.

He clung to the sliver of peace that wriggled free and lit the way. His brothers had his back. Always.

The word barely escaped his throat, but it was a request from the heart.

"Stay."

They didn't ask again. Flanking him on the couch, they sat and waited together for dawn.





chapter sixteen




Sydney heard the door slam and sat up. Eyes gritty from lack of sleep, her jeans and sweatshirt wrinkled and creased, she pushed away her knotted tangle of hair and held her breath.