All or Nothing at All(66)

Sydney came down ten minutes later and took the glass he offered with trembling fingers.

"Not gonna lie here," he finally said in the stretching silence. "I'm trying not to freak out, but when a woman says we need to talk, there's usually some type of trouble besides my gift. Is it us?"

She flinched. Then nodded. "Yes."

He let out a breath. "I know you're scared. I know we share a controversial past. But, Syd, I think you'll regret it if we don't try. We have something special here. A connection. It gets stronger all the time, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let what happened between us when we were young and made mistakes affect us now. We're two different people. Do you really want to throw this away?"

She lifted her gaze. Raw emotion shimmered in her emerald eyes, along with a fear that made dread trickle down his spine. "I want you, Tristan. I thought I could control my feelings and keep you in a safe place. I even decided I'd use you for sex, to wring you out of my system. But you've always been more, and I can't lie to myself anymore. I'm tired of the lies. I'm falling in love with you all over again."

He put down the glass and reached out to her, but she stiffened, shaking her head and moving away. She set her own glass down, curling into herself for protection. The obvious distress cracked his heart. "What is it, baby?" he asked softly. "Just tell me. We can work through anything. I'm not running away anymore, no matter what's scaring you right now."

"I have to tell you something important. All I can do is hope you understand why and give me a chance to explain."

The dread grew to a roaring river when he looked into her face. Suddenly he knew. And in a matter of seconds, everything broke and splintered apart between them. The words dropped from her lips like bursts of gunfire, piercing tender flesh and drawing blood.

"It's about Becca."

A roaring began in his ears, but it was dull, so he shook his head to try to focus. His legs loosened, unable to hold his weight. "What about Becca?"

"You're her father, Tristan. Becca is yours."

The nausea in his gut burned like an ulcer, and his vision dimmed. Slowly he fell to the couch, blinking away the haze, his mind grasping at the only piece of knowledge that meant anything. That meant everything.

Becca was his daughter.


She watched the man she loved sit back in shock, his face ravaged by pain, and fought back the choked sob in her throat. No, she had to be strong. She had to try to make him understand.

"My daughter," he whispered. "Becca is my daughter."

"Yes."

"When? When did you find out you were pregnant? When did you know she was mine and not your husband's?"

She set her shoulders, determined to tell him everything. "The day you left me to go to New York."




 

 

He let out an animallike cry and rose to his feet, pacing madly in front of her. Waves of fury and confusion whipped from his figure. Fear knotted her belly, but she kept her breathing even, knowing this was going to be the hardest thing she'd ever done, getting him to understand. "You said nothing," he gritted out. "Never mentioned anything about a pregnancy."

"I was going to tell you that night, but then you said you were leaving, and I knew, Tristan, I just knew if I told you about the baby, you'd feel trapped. You didn't want to stay with me."

"I asked you to go to New York with me!" he shouted. "Is that the lie you've been telling yourself for seven fucking years? You never gave me a chance!"

"Lower your voice," she hissed. Fear choked her at the idea of Becca coming into this confrontation. She wrapped her shaking hands tight around her body. Somehow, she had to make him see what she had that night. "I saw your face. You were like an animal stuck in a cage, and I was your jailer. You would've hated me for trapping you into a life you resented. You would've hated both of us, and I swear to God, I was not going to do that to my child. My parents didn't want me, and I had to live with that. I refused to give Becca a life of regrets!"

"And what about the second time?" he practically spit out. "When I came to the dressing room and you were in your wedding dress? I asked you again to come with me! What are your excuses for not telling me you were pregnant and marrying some other guy to hide the truth?"

"He was ready to be a father to Becca. He wanted to marry me and build a life in Harrington. He gave me everything I thought I wanted, the type of security I dreamed about for our baby! He wanted what you didn't!"

"Then why did he leave?"

"Because I couldn't love him the way he deserved," she choked out. "He knew it, and so did I. We tried, but we realized after Becca was born, he could never take the place of you."