All or Nothing at All(71)

"It won't work," she repeated again. "We can't live together, Tristan. That type of give-and-take in a marriage, raising a child, isn't something you can just fake."

"I don't intend anything to be fake." He narrowed his gaze. "We'll mean every word of those vows we share. I intend to be faithful, show you respect, protect you and Becca, and provide a secure, nurturing environment. And you will do the same."

She had a crazy urge to laugh at the ridiculousness, but knowing he was dead serious stole away all humor. Oh, God, she couldn't do this. He stated his intentions like a Boy Scout or military person serving his country. Not like a husband, or a man who wanted to spend his life with a woman he loved.

Because he didn't love her.

Not anymore.

Maybe not ever. He'd never been able to say the words, no matter how intimate their time was together.

"You can't just bully me into a marriage. Listen, we don't need to rush into anything. We'll talk and decide the right time to tell Becca. Couples deal with two-parent households all the time, and Becca will understand. You can have plenty of time with her-pick her up from school, take her for sleepovers, a weekend getaway. Anything you need."

"What I need is to be with her every single day." The implacable determination carved out in his features told her he wouldn't change his mind. "I need to make up for what was taken away from me. And you will marry me, Sydney. One way or another."

"You have no right," she breathed in horror.

"Oh, but I do. You lost all your rights the moment you played God and kept me from making my own choice." A flick of temper leaked through the armor, but it was quickly brought under control. "You don't get to say no to this."

"And if I do?"

He poured his cup of coffee, lifted it to his lips, and took a lingering sip. "I take Becca from you. I hire the best legal team imaginable and make your life a living hell. I let the court decide who'll be the better parent. How does that sound?"

Her teeth rattled together like a poor imitation of a skeleton. If she hadn't been sitting, she would've sunk to the floor, boneless with fear. He wasn't making idle threats. Tristan never did. No, he was ruthless when he came to a decision, whether it be leaving for New York, walking away from a deal, or doling out punishment to those who wronged him. This was a man who trusted with his whole soul, but once betrayed, he locked the door and threw away the key.

She'd lost him forever.

The pain of such a loss was still secondary to the idea Becca could be dragged through a custody suit. Nothing was worth that.

Not even living in a sham of a marriage with a man she still loved.

"You would do that?" she asked quietly. "Even if it would tear Becca apart?"

His jaw clenched. His eyes were flat and devoid of all emotion.

"Yes."

She shuddered, wrapping her arms tight around her body. He'd do it. He wouldn't want to hurt Becca, but he was desperate. Betrayed. Savage. The worst was the empty vastness between them, reminding her the man she'd fallen for was no longer here. The one who'd taken his place was ruthless. "Don't do this to us," she whispered. "You'll destroy everything."

"You already did." He set his coffee down. "I want to hear you say the words. Say you agree."

"If you do this, you'll be giving up the opportunity to marry for love. Do you really want to wake up one day and feel trapped by your decision? Feel as if you missed out on an unknown future because of responsibility? You don't need to do this. We can work it out some other way if you give it a chance."




 

 

Her final plea lay between them. A part deep inside of her fantasized he'd admit he did love her. If he gave her the tiniest indication there was a real chance for them, she'd marry him without question. But to be trapped with someone who'd never love you back? It would be the worst nightmare imaginable.

His gaze flicked over her with dismissive ease. "Love is overrated. I think a marriage based on shared commitment to the greater good is what this world is lacking. There will be no regrets on my part."

"And me? You're blackmailing me as punishment. How can our relationship stand a chance with such a start? Don't you want more for us?"

His words were as robotic as his tone. "No. This is all we have left."

Her heart fragmented into tiny pieces. She rocked back and forth, searching for any loophole or offer she could beg him to accept. And came back to the same shattering conclusion.

She was going to have to marry him and forfeit her very soul.

"Say you agree," he said again.

No. She wouldn't do it. Wouldn't hold both of them and Becca hostage in a marriage that could never be real, at least on his end. She grabbed on to her own frustration and anger, confronting him with clenched fists. "How dare you think you control this relationship or my daughter?" she ripped out, keeping her voice low. "Deny it all you want-you couldn't have handled the truth back then. You left without speaking to me for three months, then showed up expecting me to drop everything because you decided you missed me? And when you heard about the baby, you never once wondered at the timing? How dare you judge me? You barely looked at us for two years, and I was supposed to tell you about her?"