Absolute Beginners(62)

Multiple orgasms? Hell yes!

I peeked at her through my fingers and saw that she was smiling.

“You’re so cute,” she said, leaning over to kiss me.

Her lips were soft and warm, and the kiss was gentle and slow. After a moment, she pulled away, reached into the bag, and fished out a smoothie and a sandwich for herself.

“Let’s just take it easy today, OK?”

We sat back and ate our sandwiches while we watched the movie she’d picked out. It felt so comfortable and I was completely relaxed in her company. She’d been so sweet to me and clearly she hadn’t come over here for sex. That was definitely a first. Maybe it meant that I was more to her than just a guy she slept with. I hoped so, because she was more to me than a casual sex partner.

I looked at her hand resting on her thigh, and I wanted to hold it. Slowly, I lifted my own hand, all the while sneaking glances at her face. She was watching the movie, completely unaware of my hand hovering a few inches above her own. My pulse thundered in my ears and I realized how absurd this whole situation was. I’d had rough sex with her last night, taking her on nearly every available surface in this room, but I was terrified of holding her hand. Holding hands definitely went outside the sex-buddy agreement and was something that you did with a girlfriend.

Don’t do it. She’ll panic.

I knew it was risky, but I wanted to, and we’d already shared a sweet, gentle kiss earlier. Taking a deep breath, I placed my hand on top of hers.

She flinched. Her eyes widened, and it looked as though she was breathing faster.

“Is…is this all right?” I whispered, rubbing her hand with my thumb.

Her gaze flickered from mine down to our hands a few times before she nodded slowly.

I sighed with relief, giving her hand a small squeeze before turning my attention back to the movie. I could feel her eyes on me and noticed that she was still completely rigid. I tried to get my breathing under control and stroked the back of her hand with my thumb again. After a few excruciating minutes, I felt her relax next to me, which made me smile. We watched the rest of the movie like that, my hand resting on top of hers. I didn’t have the courage to turn her hand and lace our fingers, but this was definitely a step in the right direction. I didn’t know why she was so apprehensive when it came to affection, but I was determined to show her that there could be more between the two of us than merely a physical relationship.

The movie ended, but I was reluctant to move from my spot and take my hand off hers.

“Can I use your bathroom?” she asked.

I couldn’t very well deny the request and she got up, sliding her hand out from underneath mine. She seemed to be gone a long time and I wondered what she might be thinking. Today hadn’t been about sex like the other times we’d been together, and I wasn’t sure what would happen when she re-emerged.

I hope she doesn’t want to leave already.

It was Saturday, I didn’t have any plans, and I wanted her to stay here with me all day. More accurately, I found myself wishing that we could go outside together. It was a nice spring day and I would love to take a walk with her. Of course, I couldn’t do that. She was still my student for a few more weeks and if anyone saw us together, it could be the end of my career, as well as both of our reputations. I looked up, seeing Julia standing in the doorway, looking hesitant.

Please come and sit with me again.

“Maybe I should get going,” she said, although it sounded more like a question than a statement.

“Oh, do you have plans?”

“No.”

Ask her to stay.

“I don’t either. Um, have plans, I mean,” I said, hoping that she’d take the hint.

“OK.”

Why was this so difficult?

“You…can stay, um, if you’d like?” I managed to ask her.

“OK,” she said again.

Yes!

“What would you like to do?”

“We could play a game,” she suggested.

“Not a bondage game, right?” I blurted out, much to my horror.

What is wrong with my mouth? I think I need to see a doctor or something.

She laughed softly, shaking her head. “No, Stephen. Not a bondage game. I don’t think you’re up for that today. How’s your head, by the way?”

“A little better,” I told her. “Still hurts, though.”

“Let me give you a massage,” she offered.

“A massage? You know how to do that?”

“Sure. Do you have any massage oil or lotion?”

“I have lotion,” I answered, turning my head so she wouldn’t see me blush.

Just please don’t ask me what I use it for.

“Great. Go get it and lie down on your bed,” she said, heading into the bedroom.